Subliminal Talk

Had my days off...

Listening to 3 Loops Hybrid OF Now. I noticed VERY STRONG resistance today to turning it on. I kept pushing it back and "forgetting". I've had a lot of fear today as well about texting this girl, etc.... And it's like part of me was trying to stay blind or numb to it. I feel a bit of relief and softening now that the track is on.

Second date was incredible. Absolutely incredible. Didn't take her home but made out extremely freely and passionately all around the neighborhood lol. Hopefully will catch up with her this week. Talking to a few other girls.

Gonna take two rest days starting tomorrow. Finishing 3rd loop now. Considering whether I should bump to 4

It's definitely pushing me mentally to work on approaching women -- one of my deepest fears. But instead of just going out and overwhelming myself I'm brainstorming a way I can work through it very gradually to obtain a sure foundation. There's a book called She's Six Steps Away that may be helpful. I'm afraid even thinking about it-- but I suppose I can just start one day at a time . I've done these things before in short bursts but there hasn't been a long term result. So I need to really commit to something small / simple/ gradual over time, like one would do with working out.

I'm seeing this girl now regularly, it's going well, and I like her well enough.

Fear is down. Other emotions are still very intense so I don't always feel great (rage). This still makes me socially awkward even though I don't feel as much fear... Hence why I'm feeling frustrated with the lack of approaching etc.

I'm feeling pretty zen at the moment from doing Qigong and listening to the loops though.

Getting more focused about what my goals are, how I should spend my time, etc. Thinking of picking up personal journaling as a way to measure progress.