So on Saturday I bought OF V3 5.75.7G. I had no plan to buy it, since OF V1 didn’t feel like it did anything. But I am sick of letting fear control my life and me. I ask myself what would my life look like with no fear? The answer “Awesome” peace and freedom and I can do whatever I want.
Day 1: Sat
I was listening to mask ocean for about ten minutes and feel a slight feeling around my heart. After that I forgot I was listening to it. It took me into a state of peace and tranquility. When the track was over, it felt like I was in a Zen state. I had the best sleep that I have every had.
Day 2: Sun
I had a nightmare I was dress for an interview for this great job and everywhere I turn a yellow jacket was around arm. It was like they were there sabotage my chance of success, so I never got to the interview. I hate bees…
My second dream I was F****ng a beautiful woman standing up. This woman was beautiful and would be the kind of person I would have a relationship with. Fear of having an amazing relationship is kicking in. I had one once, she was beautiful but the relationship was fake. So I guess I am afraid I will never have the real deal. I know she sabotage it because she was a fearful person, I just I am mad because I fell for her. I am afraid of it happing again.
Fear of everything can be a bitch!! It makes you feel stuck and hopeless and that is a place I don’t want to be anymore. I hope OF V3 can release me from this prison and live the life I am supposed to have.
I have been noticing that on days off that I am getting angry, moody or depressed. I usually try to watch something funny to snap out of it. One of my days on I woke up soaking wet from sweat and the room was 68, which has never happened before. On days I think I am doing fine.
Last night I had a weird dream I was back in living with my mom after High school and that was a long time ago. We were getting fine. Than all of a sudden I hook up with this girl and out of the blue she says you can fuck me if you want to. I won't charge you much. I thought she said $118.00. She said no I said $18.00, but she said I like you just give me $13.00. I don’t know why all of a sudden, I said do you want me to put a condom on she said just pull out. Than I came that was a close call. I guess I feared getting her pregnant. My fear of responsibly and having to take care of a kid.
I also realize I am sick of the BS games women play. I have never had so making dreams about sex with women.
(08-11-2021, 03:42 PM)Z-Man Wrote: [ -> ]I have been noticing that on days off that I am getting angry, moody or depressed. I usually try to watch something funny to snap out of it. One of my days on I woke up soaking wet from sweat and the room was 68, which has never happened before. On days I think I am doing fine.
Last night I had a weird dream I was back in living with my mom after High school and that was a long time ago. We were getting fine. Than all of a sudden I hook up with this girl and out of the blue she says you can fuck me if you want to. I won't charge you much. I thought she said $118.00. She said no I said $18.00, but she said I like you just give me $13.00. I don’t know why all of a sudden, I said do you want me to put a condom on she said just pull out. Than I came that was a close call. I guess I feared getting her pregnant. My fear of responsibly and having to take care of a kid.
I also realize I am sick of the BS games women play. I have never had so making dreams about sex with women.
When I first started OF, I used to sweat in cold rooms while I slept, as well. Also have had MANY sex dreams - almost more than I would have when I ran DMSI.
Cycle 5
So last night I had a dream/nightmare my ex-wife said I will take you back it you want me too. Than woke you soaking wet again the room was 66. What is the fear? Fear being in a relationship or repeating the same kind of relationship over again? I don't know, I was with that woman for 17 years and married 12. Why am I waking up soaking wet? I have just been using masked ocean 2 loops.
I know I have been worried about unemployment situation. I am doing the best I can. I can't stand settling for jobs I hate just because of paycheck. Hopefully.." This too shall pass " I hear the universe is always on our side and everything is working out for our higher good. It is something hard to see that, when you are so focus on the problem. If life is a journey, I guess problems help us know we are alive.
Cycle 6
So on Sunday, I felt like I needed to get out of the house so went to beach at 8PM. I didn't expect much because it was night time. It was packed, there was band playing there and people where dancing and drinking. I didn't have anything. I did notice I was very social and talk to a lot of people, which I haven't in a while. It was like I wasn't worry about what they would say and just talk them. Just enjoying myself and having fun by myself. This is something I don't usually do.
Cycle 8/day off 2
Yesterday, I went on an interview and I wasn't nervous. The drive was pretty far from home, but it looks like a really good company. But when I woke up today. I feel crappy worry will I get it. I have gone on a lot of interviews for companies that seem good to work for and they where closer to home for me. So, the fear of not getting a job is still there. I have been unemployed for 1 year and 5 months and it is very scary. So, I am afraid I will have to take any kind of job, I don't want to do that.
I don't even think about relationship with a woman, that too much emotionally work.
Thanks for listening...
Hope everybody journey is going good..
Great result man!
That's pure "Tidal Effect" taking place. No problem at all.
The sub is working as intended, cheers.
Cycle 10/ Day 2
Last night I had a dream that I went to a computer and was able to delete every bad thing somebody said about me. All the critical stuff. These beliefs about my abilities and there self image about me. It was a long list. As I was deleting the first time the computer didn't delete it. So I had to do it again and the second time it was deleted. I guess OF V3 is working on removing stuff.
62-days/ cycle 14
So I didn’t get the last job I wanted. So, the fear has been will I get a good job, they are real picky since Covid or a lot of people are unemployed and it isn’t just me. I had to call the mortgage about bill it has been on forbearance for more than a year. Now my unemployment is in pending status for payments, even thought it is suppose to be effective thru 4/13/2022. So, the fear with money slowing down is increasing. So, I keep on looking for jobs, but it is hard to stay positive sometimes.
I had a dream last night that I was back with my ex wife, received a great job and also had a date with a beautiful women. Than woke up, don’t know what that means. After I woke up, I was so depressed.
I have been noticing on my off days. I either want to run the sub. All these emotions anger, upset and depression are hitting hard. Also, when talking I notice I say what is on my mind. I am trying to take it one day at a time. Some days are harder than others.
Thanks for listening…
102 days/ Cycle 21 (3 Months)
I have been doing 3 loops ocean masked 27/30 3 days on/ 2 off. I found out I used up all my unemployment money for the year. They went back to the old way of doing things before Covid. I have been fearing the job market, it feels like no matters how many interviews I go on. It is so hard to find a job, last Thursday I went on interview I haven't heard anything. I will call them tomorrow to do a follow-up. Now, I started looking for part time work so I had so money coming in. Hopefully, I find something soon.
I started listening to Ocean hybrid. I had three dreams:
1st one I was with this gorgeous woman. We were dancing at this fancy party and we were all deck out in beautiful outfits. Than, I turn around we were wearing basic clothes. I was thing either way it doesn't make a difference they are just clothes.
2nd one I was with a beautiful celebrity that I always wanted to be with and I was having a good time. Thoughts in my head was I am not good enough. I don't even have a job, how can I be with her.
3rd one I was with this couple who was happy & in love. I don't know what we were doing, all I remember was we were hanging out. I was with somebody too. I recall who it was. I remember hugging them and when I hug her I was crying & thinking I wanted to be in love like that too. I felt like I will never get what i want. I guess fear of getting what you really want.
Should I continue with Hybrid or go back to mask?
Afternoon Z-Man.
I've been meaning to tell you this since you started your OFv3 Journeal. Dude I dig the hell outta your handle title for this journey "Becoming Fearless and living my authentic life(OF V3)" !! Hell Yes, thats where it at Man. be you being freer and diggin Life.
Jimi Hendrix used to end some of his autographs with " Stay Groovy,Stay Free" or "Stay you, stay groovy, stay FREE"
To me OFV3 brings us closer to our authentic selves and helps Us stay there,and truly live from that place,OUR place of sovereignty on an on going.
Peace and Empowerment!!
Keith
(11-13-2021, 11:15 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ]Afternoon Z-Man.
I've been meaning to tell you this since you started your OFv3 Journeal. Dude I dig the hell outta your handle title for this journey "Becoming Fearless and living my authentic life(OF V3)" !! Hell Yes, thats where it at Man. be you being freer and diggin Life.
Jimi Hendrix used to end some of his autographs with " Stay Groovy,Stay Free" or "Stay you, stay groovy, stay FREE"
To me OFV3 brings us closer to our authentic selves and helps Us stay there,and truly live from that place,OUR place of sovereignty on an on going.
Peace and Empowerment!!
Keith
Thanks Keith. I have been digging your new money avatar. It seems that you been having quite a journey on UMS v2. Removing fear and unlimited wealth, what a great combination. I like how you are trying help people. That truly is a wealthy mindset. Peace and let the journey of empowerment continue....
144 days/Cycle 29 (Almost 5 Months)
I have been doing 3 loops ocean masked till end of November. In December, I started 3 loops of Ocean Hybrid. I am still fearful; I don’t walk up to beautiful women. Still trying to find that good job. So as of right now, I feel like without that job, what women would want me? You need money for dates & to do things.
I was only able to get a part time seasonal job. But, that didn’t work out after two days of standing my leg is in so much pain that I need a day off. Since it is in retail that doesn’t work. So, the fear of being in pain & not finding an office job has been stressing me & making me more fearful. I apply to jobs at of fear. Because, I don’t know what to do anymore.
I am trying to figure out what this sub is really doing. I go thru so many emotions. Like angry, sadness and depression. These are all fear base emotions. I am not looking forward to the holidays; there are a lot of emotions around that.