Subliminal Talk

(06-28-2021, 05:42 AM)enoch Wrote: [ -> ]Day 29, Off

I've sticked to one loop per day in the morning until Day 27 and Day 28 where I ran another loop sometime during the day. I can't exactly remember why, I think one of them is due to feeling tired and miserable on top of doubting the effectiveness of OF v3 so I did the opposite and ran a loop lol.

Saturday I went to buy beer, I noticed the attractive cashier. She had a straight face on and just going through the motions. I didn't think much of it but  when it was my turn to pay for my items, I chatted her and she lit up and was more animated. It was a nice and smooth conversation, she  had some laughs and was performing the gestures/actions from our conversation that we were imagining. In the back of my head I wanted to get her number but opted not to and moved on. I remember as a teenager being intimated by women I'm attracted to, this didn't even faze me but instead felt like I had to talk to her.

I felt a lot of resistance this week. Mostly due to letting go of someone I'm really fond of talking to because lately I have been ignored or receiving late responses, cold responses.

On my next cycle, Day 31 I'll increase my exposure to 2 loops in the morning and add more during the day if I feel an urge to do so. 3 days on 2 days off. Masked track through earbuds.

If I have an urge to run OF v3 during my off days, should I follow this?

Yes.

Day 38, On

Had a dream that I was extremely malnourished, I can't remember anything else except seeing myself almost looking like a skeleton. Anyway, been trying to be consistent going to the gym but whenever I get there and it is packed I just use the treadmill and go home. I get really discouraged to do my beginner routine if there are a lot of people there.

I have been smoking way lot more than usual. I can feel and distinguish its effects right away lately, which is weird. Makes me feel groggy most of the time and yet I cannot stop. There are moments where I strongly do not care for it, I managed to stop it for two days straight but when a bout of depression or stress comes in, I cave in.

On the bright side, I don't flick door handles anymore to open or close them. I still hesitate when I become conscious about it, but I challenge myself to just grab it. I do this to check and discharge static, I've become fearful of getting shocked by static electricity working at the airport. Those elevator buttons are ridiculously notorious at shocking me every single time. Jackets, car door handle, door knobs etc.

If you're smoking more, then you need to increase the loops per day. That's an escape/coping mechanism. You won't need that once you have enough power going on.