Subliminal Talk

(05-29-2021, 09:34 AM)fab10 Wrote: [ -> ]Don’t you guys have an old phone or iPod or laptop or tablet or any of the other dozen devices that can play music? I see this objection so often that I am starting to think it’s a form of unconscious resistance.

Don’t take it the wrong way Jake, but bro, you used to be the champion of finding ways of sabotaging your listening. I’m happy to see that you stopped doing that.

lol not taken wrong way at all bro and yeah hopefully I can continue this way too

(05-29-2021, 11:53 AM)whome Wrote: [ -> ]Day 7 Continued

This is a weird thread.

I don’t mind conversation on my journal threads, and I don’t even mind if that discussion is off-topic, but it’s surprising me how much wildly off-topic discussion has found its way onto here. It seems like almost everything I say that was intended as a quick aside turns into long unrelated tangents (the DnD switch, the “only one loop for one hour”) and there are unrelated tangents too (the advice from Shannon to NOMAD).

For what it’s worth, a) I honestly don’t care and b) I have no idea if this is related to my use of OF3, but I am actually kinda surprised by how this journal thread is turning out because this is like my sixth or so journal thread, and I have never had so much off-topic chatter and discussion on a journal thread happen before.

LOL...welcome to my old journal from back in the day.

Hundreds of thousands of views in my journal, even a new program I'd have like two posts about it, and there'd be like 4 pages of posts about whatever else, lmao...So many random discussions, and then arguments about it etc.

Very bizarre. Turned me off journaling for so long. I think I will again soon maybe.

I sympathise, and wish you a great run on OF V3! It's turning out to be a very solid program. Wonderful.

(05-29-2021, 08:55 PM)CatMan Wrote: [ -> ]LOL...welcome to my old journal from back in the day.

Interesting!

(05-29-2021, 01:09 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I have concluded that off topic commentary usually means people like you.  If it bothers you, just say the word and we'll stop.  

Not at all, please don’t act any differently around me. It’s just weird, since it happened for just this journal, but not any of the others. In any case...

Day 8

An off day. It feels like my on days and off days fly by without change, so while I’m pondering ahead to what changes might make sense to do after 14 days, I’m definitely not feeling urges to make specific changes.

Today it took me an hour to pull together the strength to get out of bed. The grief and terror were strong this morning and I don’t know why. Yesterday was a session with my energy guy, who had me imagine a balloon in my pelvis and breathe into it, and it’s chilly outside creeping into my apartment, so those are possible explanations too.

I suggest that if you have no particular ideas, you should follow this progression.

First, shorten days off to 2 for a cycle or two. Then add a loop per day on for each cycle until you either hit exhaustion or feel it making a positive difference for you. I do not suggest going over 3 loops per day.

If you get to 3 loops per day and 2 days on/2 days off without results, then start adding one day on per ASRB2 cycle until exhaustion or success. So it would be like this:

ASRB2 Cycle A: Reduce days off by 1 for this cycle. (1 loop, 2 days on, 2 days off.) If that doesn't exhaust or cause positive results:
ASRB2 cycle B: Increase loops per day on by 1. (2 loops, 2 days on, 2 days off.) If that doesn't exhaust or cause positive results:
ASRB2 cycle C: Increase loops per day on by 1. (3 loops, 2 days on, 2 days off.) If that doesn't exhaust or cause positive results:
ASRB2 Cycle D: Increase Days On by 1. (3 loops per day on, 3 days on, 2 days off. If that doesn't exhaust or cause positive results:
ASRB2 Cycle E: Increase Days On by 1. (3 loops per day on, 4 days on, 2 days off. If that doesn't exhaust or cause positive results:
Etc.

(05-30-2021, 08:48 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I suggest that if you have no particular ideas, you should follow this progression.
(...)

Thank you. I’ve been at this for a week, so I’m going to stick with the standard progression for another week, and then will proceed in that manner if there’s nothing specific that comes from my instinct. I’ll note any changes here.

Day 9

Day off #2.

Full of grief and sadness and loneliness. I was informed yesterday about how my father’s health is going downhill, and while it’s no surprise, that’s weighing on me. The loneliness is poking at the self-hatred pain, and while I’m reasonably successfully pushing through the instinct of curling up and dying, so that I can somewhat function, it’s still pretty overwhelming.

Schedule-wise, starting next weekend I’m going to start progressing through the ASRB2 variations that Shannon listed.

Day 10

Third day off. Still sleeping poorly, still waking full of pain and grief. Still dealing with dreams where people are treating me poorly and I’m having to just deal with it.

Day 11

One loop today.

No change in dreams or emotions. For some reason my iPad’s frequency app wasn’t picking up the ultrasonic sound so I couldn’t verify that it was playing, so I dug up my old Android tablet and FrequenSee still works fine. I use ultrasonic because of Shannon’s recommendation, but I’m always paranoid that it might not be going so I like using a frequency app and watch it go.

@whome

Out of curiosity is your username pronounced like: home, wome, hoom, or none of the above?

(06-02-2021, 10:08 AM)KingDavid93 Wrote: [ -> ]@whome

Out of curiosity is your username pronounced like: home, wome, hoom, or none of the above?

As in “who, me?” I suppose it’s a bit of a self-deprecating pseudonym, but that’s how it is.

Day 12

Another day waking exhausted and in pain.

Ultrasonic is a weird way to listen. With the hybrid file, I could hear the sound and be reassured that it was going. With ultrasonic, I’m paranoid that it might not be going, so I run FrequenSee on my old Android tablet the whole time to make sure it’s still going. With the hybrid, I’d sometimes close my eyes and imagine the sound working its way through my innards. With the ultrasonic and not being able to hear it, it’s a harder imagination.

Two more days to make it to the 14 day mark, and then I’ll start slowly building the strength. First up will be dropping one of the days off.

I had a hard time getting past my concerns with ultrasonic too. In fact, OFv2 was the first sub that I regularly used the ultrasonic format with (after ~5 years of IML sub use). Since I took the plunge, I haven't looked back.

Day 13

First day off. Still pain and grief. No idea what to say here.

Do you feel like there is any change at all so far?