Thanks for the words of encouragement, CatMan. I notice that when I relapse I tend to be stressed, or thinking about a girl I like, or thinking about fantasies I'd like to try. I guess I just need to catch myself more and be more self aware as it happens, and tell myself this isn't the way to deal with things.
Day 17 update: I relapsed without porn in the morning, have been clean since. Annoyed at myself though, but will resolve to do better tomorrow.
(05-05-2020, 01:33 PM)RogueTwelve Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the words of encouragement, CatMan. I notice that when I relapse I tend to be stressed, or thinking about a girl I like, or thinking about fantasies I'd like to try. I guess I just need to catch myself more and be more self aware as it happens, and tell myself this isn't the way to deal with things.
Day 17 update: I relapsed without porn in the morning, have been clean since. Annoyed at myself though, but will resolve to do better tomorrow.
Don't be annoyed at yourself. You're still learning your triggers etc. It's expected to be awkward at the start. Just don't make the same mistake again and learn how your body goes through the process of this, adapt to prevent it, and you'll be okay.
When you feel those feelings pop up, do a pattern interrupt.
Go see a family member or somebody you live with. You aren't likely to engage in porn and masturbation in their presence, so that will keep you in line. That can distract you and get you to focus on enjoying their company.
If that won't work, especially now during this virus and depending on your living situation, then video call someone. That will achieve the same goal.
Basically, no matter what, make SURE you don't stay alone, and in that state, and you should be able to avoid the relapse. As being alone, and in that state, is prime time for the urge to strike as that's how both behaviours are done. Generally, when you're alone, and in a state pushing an urge.
If you do this, the urges get WAY easier to control after even a short period. Trust me on that. I don't even get them anymore. I got over the hump. And you can too!
Very late update, but thats ok. Felt tired when I wanted to journal which I can't really use as an excuse. So Day 23. Today I relapsed without porn, there was relapse as well I noticed in a cycle that was clean day, relapse, clean, relapse, clean for the past 5 days, but only relapsing two of the 5 thankfully. Again the homosexual fantasies that were probably made strong by porn have come up to trigger some of the relapses, so I'm going to be more conscious about when that arises as I've always been attracted to women. I never look at men the same way I do women in the streets.
Going to reread the pmo hackbook again and some nofap articles. Still happy that I'm not masturbating every day though, and it's usually just once on the days I relapse. Making progress!
Good job. What I have found useful lately is contemplation. I would sit down for 30 min every morning and contemplate about porn. Without any judgement or preconceived ideas about porn, I would question it with a blank slate like a child who knows nothing.
Throw all your ideas about how "bad" porn is outa the window and I wouldn't bother spending too much time reading new material about it. You already know that stuff.
Instead, try to increase your awareness/consciousness about this activity your engaging in and really understand why you are doing. What are th we pixels on a screen? Why does my mind generate feelings of arousal even though I know this is not real. Look at the bigger picture ... Is porn really bad in the absolute sense or is it just bad relative to you? Ask questions and journal your ideas, see what you come up with.
This technique has worked wonders for me so far.. being a porn addict for nearly all my life I have found this one to be the most powerful. Willpower never works (especially for me)
Hope that helps
Edit: Also try to adopt multiple perspectives such as being a porn actor, or the the CEO of the business. How do they percieve porn?
(05-15-2020, 02:01 PM)SaltyMeatballs Wrote: [ -> ]Good job. What I have found useful lately is contemplation. I would sit down for 30 min every morning and contemplate about porn. Without any judgement or preconceived ideas about porn, I would question it with a blank slate like a child who knows nothing.
Throw all your ideas about how "bad" porn is outa the window and I wouldn't bother spending too much time reading new material about it. You already know that stuff.
Instead, try to increase your awareness/consciousness about this activity your engaging in and really understand why you are doing. What are th we pixels on a screen? Why does my mind generate feelings of arousal even though I know this is not real. Look at the bigger picture ... Is porn really bad in the absolute sense or is it just bad relative to you? Ask questions and journal your ideas, see what you come up with.
This technique has worked wonders for me so far.. being a porn addict for nearly all my life I have found this one to be the most powerful. Willpower never works (especially for me)
Hope that helps
Edit: Also try to adopt multiple perspectives such as being a porn actor, or the the CEO of the business. How do they percieve porn?
very good idea, I was thinking like that "watching porn and doing nothing, no reaction, no masturbating just watch them and ask yourself, what are they doing biologically,why they doing this or thinking them when they eat, shit, watching tv etc. " I think this can be a state of indifference for porn and with time, our brain brain would not be eager to watch porn and masturbate, but maybe this time we may have problems when real sex, Idk about that.
Thanks for the advice guys, will take everything into consideration. Definitely helps to try and figure out why I'm getting aroused by this fake stuff, and why I go back to it in the first place.
Another update for day 27 now: I went 2 days straight without pmo, only looked at porn yesterday but both looked and relapsed today. One thing that I noticed is if I'm thinking about a girl I like, or my lack of dating experience, I may relapse. Will be more conscious of this in the future.
I've decided to go for another run of this sub after this is all over, trying to remain as clean as possible for the last 5 days of this current run. I have faith things will improve.
Update on day 30: Feeling better, today I only masturbated without porn. Day 28 was porn free, 29 I only looked. Noticing usually right now it's stress of not being able to try and really meet girls because of the quarantine cause I want to get more comfortable around them, so I'm going to be more aware of that and stay clean. My friends are suggesting I try online dating, so I'll look into it a bit. I had a bit of trouble in the past with it but I'll try to approach it with a fresh start.
Trying to keep myself clean for the next couple days, then after day 32 I'll start Round 2. I'll also look into Overcoming Masturbation Addiction as well, but I'm thinking right now I want to just keep up. Right now I'm listening to 13 hours a day of Overcoming Porn Addiction, should I just split my time between both in the split run?
If any of them are 5G or above, you must pick one and use it alone. Otherwise, of both are 4G or lower, then you have to decide if you want to split your focus or not. I suggest not.
I had a feeling splitting focus wouldn't yield best results either. Thanks for confirming that.
For now I will continue with Overcoming Porn Addiction because I think that is the root of my problems relating to masturbation. If I still have problems after killing my porn usage, I'll start looking at other solutions.
That's the spirit. Don't give up. I myself have been battling porn addiction for years and will do my best always against my porn addiction.
Hey guys, so late update to my progress. The last two days of listening, I've been porn free, which is great! I decided to take a break before I start another round, so I'll start in 2 days. Of the last 5 days I've been clean 3 of them, which is good! I'm gonna stay strong the last 2 days then start round 2.
Starting round 2 today. Over the last couple days of the break I was clean the first day, relapsed on second. Hopefully I can get to 3 or 4 day streaks this time around!
I'm changing the playing times as well as the ocean surf was fine but a bit distracting during the day sometimes. I'll be playing it from 6pm - 6am so it'll be a nice way to relax after work, and I'll get most of it sleeping.
Here's to more progress!
Hey guys, decided to take some more time to reflect on the days and post less frequently. Over the first couple days since starting I was porn free, but I've relapsed these past couple days. Started day 5's playlist today and I've been fine, but I've noticed I've been relapsing a bit out of desperation and boredom. Need to be more aware of this given the global situation and just find more productive stuff to do. Will be watching nofap stuff later to keep me motivated.
Also look at the benefits of s*m*n retention. This may provide more inspiration.