Hi guys,
this is my first journal here. Some details:
Used Format
FLAC File Hybrid Trickling stream whenever possible (Headphones)
or
FLAC File Ultrasonic at night (Speakers)
Objective
Sex, sex, sex. No long term relationships.
Current relationship status
Single
Background
I haven't been using subs for years. The last one I used was ASC 5G which I believe led me to my last LTR. I have quite experience with women but they were mostly LTR. I'm certainly not a "PUA".
My biggest sticking point is that I have a LOT of fear underneath. Approaching anxiety (hopefully I wont' have to approach with DMSI), fear of pulling the trigger, fear of rejection and so on...
For this reason I'm very interested in the Goal #2 and #4 of the program. I need to kick fear in the ass and conquer the PUAish for Inner Game.
I'm also afraid not to get the most of the program script because english is not my native language. We'll see.
Today I ran my first loops. I didn't notice anything in particular except a light pressure on the head and some sexual thoughts, maybe. This evening I am going to literally force myself to go out and see friends since I feel a bit shit/lazy/misanthrope. Don't know if it's a response to the sub, however is not an unknown feeling to me.
Let the adventure begin.
(09-28-2019, 11:10 AM)tristan Wrote: [ -> ]Hi guys,
this is my first journal here. Some details:
Used Format
FLAC File Hybrid Trickling stream whenever possible (Headphones)
or
FLAC File Ultrasonic at night (Speakers)
Objective
Sex, sex, sex. No long term relationships.
Current relationship status
Single
Background
I haven't been using subs for years. The last one I used was ASC 5G which I believe led me to my last LTR. I have quite experience with women but they were mostly LTR. I'm certainly not a "PUA".
My biggest sticking point is that I have a LOT of fear underneath. Approaching anxiety (hopefully I wont' have to approach with DMSI), fear of pulling the trigger, fear of rejection and so on...
For this reason I'm very interested in the Goal #2 and #4 of the program. I need to kick fear in the ass and conquer the PUAish for Inner Game.
I'm also afraid not to get the most of the program script because english is not my native language. We'll see.
Today I ran my first loops. I didn't notice anything in particular except a light pressure on the head and some sexual thoughts, maybe. This evening I am going to literally force myself to go out and see friends since I feel a bit shit/lazy/misanthrope. Don't know if it's a response to the sub, however is not an unknown feeling to me.
Let the adventure begin.
Welcome to the fray. I don’t think you’ll have an issue with language given that ASC worked for you, and you can clearly write in English quite well. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about PUA nonesense with this.
(09-28-2019, 12:30 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ]Welcome to the fray. I don’t think you’ll have an issue with language given that ASC worked for you, and you can clearly write in English quite well. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about PUA nonesense with this.
Thank you Paul.
Just checked the Shannon's discussion topic where he advises not to switch between sub formats every now and then. In this case I'll stick to Ultrasonic format at night.
3 days have passed.
Not much to report so far. I guess something interesting could happen next week, during my days off (bloom?)
However, I don't want to over-analyze things. Let's have the sub doing the work.
Rock on
Passed the 2 weeks mark.
My self-confidence increased a bit. I feel I'm more relaxed when I'm walking and I noticed I'm swinging my chest more.
Nothing new about external results yet.
Something interesting happend last night (sub on days ON) as I had a little nightmare. I remember I was checking my monthly salary and found out someone was stealing my money by buying some goods in my name. My salary of course was reduced because of that. Of course I wasn't happy and I tried to found the culprit.
Flash forward, I was sitting in front of a PC monitor, black screen, and suddenly appeared a big face of a man with the sunglasses on (like those old internet pranks) making a strange whine. That wasn't scary but surely creepy. I had mixed feelings then I fell of the chair. When I got up I was angry so I shouted and threw a punch at the monitor. That's when I woke up.
Honestly, I felt quite good once awake. I hadn't any nightmare in YEARS. I am happy because I think something is moving. In the dream, finally I was able to react.
SubC is doing its job.
Many ups and downs.
Today I feel very frustrated. I'm afraid I'm not powerful enough to overcome my limits and being stuck as a human being.
I knew that wouldn't be easy.
A lot of shit came to surface lately (I noticed this often occurs just right before the days off) about my past relationships with women. In particular the deservingness of the beautiful ones in my life: somehow I feel I justified, rationally or not, the fact that really hot girls aren't going to like me.
Can't say anything about external results, difficult to interpret. One thing is certain: they aren't blatant.
I also have received a really bad news today and doesn't help.
Days off from tomorrow.
Keep listening to the sub according to the instructions so I've run a little test today and I went out for a long walk in a crowded area.
I all I had is maybe a couple of eye contacts out of *a lot* of nice women. For the rest I was like a ghost. I don't know how it is supposed to work though.
I'm thinking about actively approach women but, of course, I'm too afraid to that.
That's whay I call dilemma.
I'm near the 2 months mark and I must say that I haven't got any result so far, internal nor external.
I'm not happy to say that but as I can see from other people's journals, no one is getting results.
I would wait to the end of december (3 months) for the final verdict.