So I haven't posted in a few days so here is an extra long update.
I started browsing the BLP website and was initially disgusted. The reason being that part of me found it rather annoying that I had to learn this second language and that women should just be more openly honest about there feelings. Upon review, that viewpoint is pretty undefendable and the next day I had already abandoned it.
Been having trouble sleeping from the sub and I wake up with tension headaches from my neck being tense 2 days in a row and had to take ibuprofen both mornings.
Thursday however I had a small, profound and VERY exciting moment. During work a thought hit me and it was "I'm sexy and women want to offer me sex". Now that is not a pre-DMSI thought I would have and I never had that thought on any other DMSI version, only this one. To me, this is exciting because subs are finally able to penetrate a viewpoint I've held about myself and change it. Most of the time subs just make me feel a different way, and when I stop them, the feelings stop. This thought seems to be an end of the line logical thought that was centered around a belief. I'm of the opinion that most people use logic to justify a belief they already have and help them organize it into a coherent and conveyable thought instead of having it logic orientate their view of the world they use it to justify a certain belief about the world they have. It's subtle and you can spot it if you know what you're looking for. This thought that I'm sexy and women want to offer me sex just felt like verbalization of a belief that I already have and kind of like a "well obviously" assumption about it.
That's actually really big.
I'm not sure how I'm able to resist but it seems that part of me is still putting up a fight and it's serious. I think it's affecting the results of the subs, BUT, and the same time after reading some of the stuff on the BLP website I realize this girl was giving me such overt signals that all I had to do was walk over and initiate conversation and I'm sure it would have gone somewhere. I'm amazed at how dense I can be sometimes.
But I guess you don't know what you don't know.
If I see her again at the coffee shop I'm going to open her despite it not being the purist goals of DMSI so I can see if I was correct in my observations. Sniper hit her hard.
I think I've finally found the words for what is happening to me that appears to be an on/off switch for DMSI. It's some of the aura reworking. In prior versions of DMSI the AOSI I think or the celeb effect was turned WAAAAYYYYY up and I could always feel whichever one it was on full blast and the sensation of it would override the sensation of the sniper firing. Shannon said something about reworking some auric things in this version and I think what I was calling "standby mode" or the on/off switch is actually when the sniper fires up and now I actually feel it. On other versions, I just felt like I had this aura radiating from me and I did enjoy it, but it was rather energy-intensive but fun also. Now it seems to be that the what I might have felt was the celeb effect was actually the sexy aura because the celeb effect also functions well but personally feels subtle, but still achieves the desired effect of other DMSI versions with equal or a slight drop in perceived celebrity status. However, I'm not sure of the specifics of how this all works and how Shannon has these built in the first place and I can only base this off of what I'm feeling out so I could be so far off the mark as well. I reserve the right to be wrong.
Break coming up soon. I might run one more day because I have some errands and things to get done outside of my home and I want to see it in action a bit more, and maybe achieve the goals of DMSI.