136 days already...
4 and a half months...
I am a little discouraged at the pace my progress is going.
I have noticed some fear removal aspects, but it is subtle and I am still not making massive progress towards my goal.
there is just this constant battle going on of me trying to do stuff but not doing it, I become overwhelmed and seek distraction from it.
was at a meeting yesterday. they said well you need a purpose, a mission something you want to do. problem is I have one and I know what the mission is but still, I can't bring myself to do the necessary work...
I am just venting a bit, but when I see people doing the actual work, I feel worthless because I can't even bring myself to do a small thing that is not that hard.
Fear of success is what I think is most likely, but then I would think that UMS, LTU5, E2, UMOP, ASC, and MLS would have figured that out by now...
(11-19-2019, 12:22 PM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]136 days already...
4 and a half months...
I am a little discouraged at the pace my progress is going.
I have noticed some fear removal aspects, but it is subtle and I am still not making massive progress towards my goal.
there is just this constant battle going on of me trying to do stuff but not doing it, I become overwhelmed and seek distraction from it.
was at a meeting yesterday. they said well you need a purpose, a mission something you want to do. problem is I have one and I know what the mission is but still, I can't bring myself to do the necessary work...
I am just venting a bit, but when I see people doing the actual work, I feel worthless because I can't even bring myself to do a small thing that is not that hard.
Fear of success is what I think is most likely, but then I would think that UMS, LTU5, E2, UMOP, ASC, and MLS would have figured that out by now...
The thing I’ve found with the FRM on UMS is that you have to help it along consciously. It penetrates to a deeper level than the previous one, but at least for me, it just opened the door. I had to do the investigation into where my fears came from myself. The good news is that once I really understood the why, the fears seemed to clear up. At least to a great degree. It kind of involved being in my head for a few weeks and not worrying about the external goals until I felt done.
I've become way more aware of my fears during UMS, but I don't know if FRM is strong enough, it feels like i haven't made any progress towards it.
of course, that could be neutralizer but I haven't made much progress with the goal either...
I hope the new FRM in UMS2 will do the trick or the ~1/2 months of running UMS leading up to that.
I am sad and overwhelmed, and have been for a week now. not being able to clear that hurdle.
and to be honest I have had this hurdle my whole life...
I blame it on my ADD, not being able to focus on my goals long enough, always searching for quick dopamine hits, procrastinating, piss poor prioritizing...
I have done a lot to try to handle my ADD and im ashamed as I am supposed to be an expert in ADHD...
paul said identify your fears, so I will try to do that here...
I am scared...
scared of failing when I start. as I have failed a lot in the past, that is propably why I don't start.
if I dont start I can't fail, but of course, I am still failing now... because I don't do what I want to do, so I am failing myself and lying to myself.
so I start sometimes and work for a few hours and then I feel good but the next day its a battle again to start again...
always this constant battle... and the battle is horrible so I run away, I watch youtube, watch tv shows, I play games.
then I don't have to think about all the things I have to do.
also I don't have a clear deadline and that makes it easier to do. I am trying to start my business online, and that brings with it that you have to set your own hours...
it's so deeply ingrained in my mind because i have done it for years, maybe my whole life... so it's a pattern that is hard to stop.
I just want to not have this battle anymore and be excited about what i do and not have fear hold me back.
I don't mind any advice,
cheers
I'm in my fear as well Griffin. I know it's where I should be, for me running from it has been my life norm, an unproductive, cyclical one. I'm in my fears right as I speak, and I'm running extra UMS loops to deal with it. UMS is battling my old ways, and I'm kind of excited. Something good for me is battling for my good. So me allowing this will work to my benefit.
(11-27-2019, 02:03 PM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]I've become way more aware of my fears during UMS, but I don't know if FRM is strong enough, it feels like i haven't made any progress towards it.
of course, that could be neutralizer but I haven't made much progress with the goal either...
I hope the new FRM in UMS2 will do the trick or the ~1/2 months of running UMS leading up to that.
I am sad and overwhelmed, and have been for a week now. not being able to clear that hurdle.
and to be honest I have had this hurdle my whole life...
I blame it on my ADD, not being able to focus on my goals long enough, always searching for quick dopamine hits, procrastinating, piss poor prioritizing...
I have done a lot to try to handle my ADD and im ashamed as I am supposed to be an expert in ADHD...
paul said identify your fears, so I will try to do that here...
I am scared...
scared of failing when I start. as I have failed a lot in the past, that is propably why I don't start.
if I dont start I can't fail, but of course, I am still failing now... because I don't do what I want to do, so I am failing myself and lying to myself.
so I start sometimes and work for a few hours and then I feel good but the next day its a battle again to start again...
always this constant battle... and the battle is horrible so I run away, I watch youtube, watch tv shows, I play games.
then I don't have to think about all the things I have to do.
also I don't have a clear deadline and that makes it easier to do. I am trying to start my business online, and that brings with it that you have to set your own hours...
it's so deeply ingrained in my mind because i have done it for years, maybe my whole life... so it's a pattern that is hard to stop.
I just want to not have this battle anymore and be excited about what i do and not have fear hold me back.
I don't mind any advice,
cheers
A long time ago I heard a saying that really struck me, it really struck me, and it’s true. That is that the most successful people fail more than anyone else. They just deal with it more effectively.
And they don't give up. They use their failure to figure out how to succeed, because they understand that the only way to really fail is to stop trying to succeed. So really, is it failure if you never give up trying, and in the end you succeed? Successful people don't see it as failure. They see it as setbacks, and learning what does not work. Because they don't give up, they learn what doesn't work, which reveals what does work, which results in success.
Two more weeks to go and then. I've been on UMS for 6 months! Damn doesn't feel like it, I wish I could say amazing things but my bank account does not yet... I will keep running it though and run ums v2.
Hopefully it will come out soon...
I dont have much more motivation to earn more money, or any more inspiration or any more opportunity... I notice some healing aspects and becoming more aware of my internal metal processing, but not much ultimate monetary success.
I'm sorry if I am coming over as negative, just reporting my monetary status
But I am still hopeful for next year
(12-20-2019, 02:08 AM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]Two more weeks to go and then. I've been on UMS for 6 months! Damn doesn't feel like it, I wish I could say amazing things but my bank account does not yet... I will keep running it though and run ums v2.
Hopefully it will come out soon...
I dont have much more motivation to earn more money, or any more inspiration or any more opportunity... I notice some healing aspects and becoming more aware of my internal metal processing, but not much ultimate monetary success.
I'm sorry if I am coming over as negative, just reporting my monetary status
But I am still hopeful for next year
You will notice things like an increased focus on saving and investing. This is what happened to me.
(12-20-2019, 02:08 AM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]Two more weeks to go and then. I've been on UMS for 6 months! Damn doesn't feel like it, I wish I could say amazing things but my bank account does not yet... I will keep running it though and run ums v2.
Hopefully it will come out soon...
I dont have much more motivation to earn more money, or any more inspiration or any more opportunity... I notice some healing aspects and becoming more aware of my internal metal processing, but not much ultimate monetary success.
I'm sorry if I am coming over as negative, just reporting my monetary status
But I am still hopeful for next year
And trying to use 3 months LFC and then coming back to ums? Don´t know if its the best idea, but its a possibility, just think if this could be good for your ADD.
(12-20-2019, 02:08 AM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]Two more weeks to go and then. I've been on UMS for 6 months! Damn doesn't feel like it, I wish I could say amazing things but my bank account does not yet... I will keep running it though and run ums v2.
Hopefully it will come out soon...
I dont have much more motivation to earn more money, or any more inspiration or any more opportunity... I notice some healing aspects and becoming more aware of my internal metal processing, but not much ultimate monetary success.
I'm sorry if I am coming over as negative, just reporting my monetary status
But I am still hopeful for next year
What do you notice is happening as a result of the program?
(12-20-2019, 09:36 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (12-20-2019, 02:08 AM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]Two more weeks to go and then. I've been on UMS for 6 months! Damn doesn't feel like it, I wish I could say amazing things but my bank account does not yet... I will keep running it though and run ums v2.
Hopefully it will come out soon...
I dont have much more motivation to earn more money, or any more inspiration or any more opportunity... I notice some healing aspects and becoming more aware of my internal metal processing, but not much ultimate monetary success.
I'm sorry if I am coming over as negative, just reporting my monetary status
But I am still hopeful for next year
What do you notice is happening as a result of the program?
i have noticed that i can see my fear a little more clearly, but its not going away, im trying to work through it but its not easy.
i also became a little more conscious about money, and especially my lack of it and that i need more to do what i love without the worry.
i also noticed that i don't need that much and right now all my material needs are met, mostly because i just own a backpack right now and am traveling and can't have much more that i can carry.
i also noticed i want to go to Nepal again where the cost of living is very very low.
to live there i need about a 1000 USD per month to live comfortably
(12-20-2019, 04:50 AM)Yous Wrote: [ -> ] (12-20-2019, 02:08 AM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]Two more weeks to go and then. I've been on UMS for 6 months! Damn doesn't feel like it, I wish I could say amazing things but my bank account does not yet... I will keep running it though and run ums v2.
Hopefully it will come out soon...
I dont have much more motivation to earn more money, or any more inspiration or any more opportunity... I notice some healing aspects and becoming more aware of my internal metal processing, but not much ultimate monetary success.
I'm sorry if I am coming over as negative, just reporting my monetary status
But I am still hopeful for next year
And trying to use 3 months LFC and then coming back to ums? Don´t know if its the best idea, but its a possibility, just think if this could be good for your ADD.
i am trying to save money right now and it's my primary concern. so spending 115 dollars again is not what i want to do, but i get that it might help so i will consider it. but probably and hopefully UMS v2 will come out within 3 months and i will definitely run that so then i might not complete my run of LFC
thanks for your advice!
(12-20-2019, 03:41 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ] (12-20-2019, 02:08 AM)Griffin Wrote: [ -> ]Two more weeks to go and then. I've been on UMS for 6 months! Damn doesn't feel like it, I wish I could say amazing things but my bank account does not yet... I will keep running it though and run ums v2.
Hopefully it will come out soon...
I dont have much more motivation to earn more money, or any more inspiration or any more opportunity... I notice some healing aspects and becoming more aware of my internal metal processing, but not much ultimate monetary success.
I'm sorry if I am coming over as negative, just reporting my monetary status
But I am still hopeful for next year
You will notice things like an increased focus on saving and investing. This is what happened to me.
i was always money conscious and i cant say it has changed much, the only things i have invested in has lost money so I'm laying off that a little.
So I am stopping UMS for a bit, not noticing much and after 7 months a break from it might be of benefit anyway.
I did not achieve the design goal but made some progress in starting my business although it's not making any money yet.
I will run UMS2 when it comes out, as money is still my biggest goal and probably the only thing left for me so I can live a fulfilling life, so I can travel and start a non-profit.
I am going to do some DMSI to see if this version works for me, always fun to do DMSI, and then I will just patiently await UMS2!
cheers!
Griffin