Subliminal Talk

Hey all. Long time lurker here. Finally decided to participate and make a journal. Been using US/LM since version 2 was released (Oct 11th 2018).

Background Info - Age 29. Unemployed bum. Don't want to say exactly where I live but it's a small country. Got terminated from my job a couple years ago due to struggles with various mental issues (severe anxiety; depression; existential crisis etc). It was a good, well-paying job but I honestly didn't love it. Since it was a "specialized" job, I can't use those qualifications and experience anywhere else, meaning I have to re-qualify myself from scratch. Well, kinda. Many years ago I finished all but the final year of a degree in Information Technology. Before enrolling for the final year I had been accepted to train for a job (same one I was terminated from) and just never bothered to finish school. In 2017, I got fed up of just wallowing all the time and decided to finally finish. Well, in July of last year I completed the degree. Used MLS for the first semester with good results. Finished with first class honors overall. That was a big morale boost and I wanted to keep the momentum going.
So in August decided I wanted to learn and specialize in Networking so I decided to pursue CCNA certification (the most popular networking cert). According to my research, it's recommended to take the certification exam in two parts (ICND1 and ICND2) if you're a networking newbie like myself, instead of the single composite exam which is super difficult and meant for more experienced folk. So that was my plan. I enrolled for a small class in a college taught part time by a Network Engineer. That was a mistake. The class moved along at breakneck speed and I was barely able to keep up. Got demotivated and started wondering if networking is really for me lol. A lot of my fellow students had jobs in the field and were understanding the material, making me feel inferior. Also, the class was not structured in such a way such that ICND1 material would be taught first followed by ICND2. Our teacher said there wasn't enough time to do it that way. It was really demotivating to be reading "chapter 1 - what is networking?" at home only to come to class and have in depth discussion on "RIP" and "BGP" routing protocols. In the end, I just turned on the voice recorder in class to record the sessions and go into a daze until it was over. Well, that class finished in December and I hadn't really learned much. Should have self-studied from the start by reading the official textbooks, which is how most people seem to do it. However since class ended I've been doing nothing but wallowing again.
You guys might laugh at this given what I typed so far but my main goal on USLM is to actually become a network engineer. Even if I manage to get off my arse and get certified, the IT field is sooo saturated in this country that it would be a borderline miracle to find an opportunity. Plus, I don't have relevant work experience, which trumps everything. Yet another demotivating factor. I just want to get my foot in the door somewhere as a tech and work my way up. Probably the biggest reason I'm using US/LM - for the potential opportunities it can manifest. BUT - Gotta execute. Gotta get certified. Gotta read chapter 1. Got to follow the instructions of the sub! Oh boy have I not been doing that. I have been really naughty regarding sub-use lately. Twice I have gotten frustrated and closed VLC before the first loop was even over. Convinced myself I needed a break for a few days.
So this is where I'm at now. We'll see how things go from here...

This is how my goals are written by the way:
1. Main long term goal is to be a successful network engineer who enjoys his job.
2. Sub-goal of the one above is to become CCNA certified by the end of May 2019 (this one might be a little over ambitious for me, but we'll see) and get my foot in the door somewhere.
3. Sub-goal of the one above is to study for at least a few hours every single day.

Of course there's a lot more areas of my life I'd love to improve (fitness, making friends etc) but I'm keeping my written goals to what I want most right now.

When I read the title, I was like: Dude... What are you doing with USLM3, when USLM4 is just around the corner? LOL

Noted. You actually use the sub since USLM2.

Finished reading Chapter 1 of the ICND1 textbook and completed all of the review questions for the chapter. Was very difficult to make myself begin reading. My theory is that lately I have been getting my dopamine fixes from "wasteful" activities like binge watching shows and mindlessly browsing Reddit. When attempting to read the book, I found it difficult to focus, as if my mind was complaining to me and saying "dude, what are you doing? let's do something FUN". While struggling to begin the chapter, I would absentmindedly just open my internet browser and stare at the homepage without any intention to visit a particular site. It's that bad. Wouldn't it be great if I could re-wire my brain to get dopamine fixes from being productive instead? That would be something. Anyway, glad I got started. Better late than never. I think the biggest difference with self-studying for this cert and school is the absence of deadlines. Looming deadlines made me get off my butt and complete assignments, sometimes submitting them a mere minute before the cut-off time! It's pure luck that I "graduated" with such good results lol (didn't actually attend the ceremony due to my anxiety...the thought of walking across that stage was frightening to me).

I should also note that I'm feeling "sub tingles" today. Haven't felt them in a long time. Hard to describe what I mean, but sometimes I feel the "energy" from the sub on my body, as if it's "massaging" me in a way. Today i'm feeling it on my left arm and on my back. It's interesting because I haven't actually listened to the sub for a few days now.

Was in bed by 9pm-ish last night. Up at 5am. I'm usually prone to horrible sleeping habits so this is noteworthy. Resumed listening to the sub last night as well. Ultrasonic via phone next to my pillow; 11/15 volume. Noticed that "sub energy" on both sides of my chest shortly after starting the loops (not on both sides at the same time. felt it on the right side first, faded there, then felt it on the left side). Fell asleep shortly after and slept through the loops as planned.

Regarding my written goals: Studies are coming along slowly, but steadily. I have began Chapter 3. In between reading I find myself watching videos on YouTube relating to what I'd learned. I've tried to watch these videos in the past, but found them hard to follow. However now armed with what I read in the book, the video content is easier to digest and is even enjoyable I dare say. Hope this continues as the material becomes more difficult down the road.

Unrelated to my written goals: Been trying out mindfulness meditation (on day 6 of a beginner routine). Been doing exercises and foam rolling to try to correct my bad posture (anterior pelvic tilt). I'm "skinnyfat" and have been trying out intermittent fasting to lose the big belly (a real big belly, not an "illusion" caused by the pelvic tilt), but I'm pretty sure I lost all progress here because my "food" for the last 2 days have been pizza, chicken wings, ice cream and soda. Not good.

Feeling really good today. Got lucky at the bank. Out of the four tellers working at the time, I got the one I wanted most, just because her station was located furthest away from the line and therefore the most "private". It's an "anxiety thing" lol.

My attitude towards studying is noticeably changing. A week ago, my attitude was "studying, ughhhhh, however will I force myself?"
Today, my attitude is "studying? cool, no problem "

Feeling "sub energy" as I type this too.

Was considering the possibility of switching to a newer sub like US/LM 4 when it's released or even LTU 5. However, I just bought a bunch of used cisco gear to build a "home lab". Was a completely optional purchase too because everyone says simulation software is all you need for a CCNA. But I decided I had to have the real things to practice on so I wouldn't be intimidated by them in the work environment. So, now that my spending funds are pretty low,  a new sub most likely out of the question for me. If I'm going to get there, US/LM 3 will take me.

So one of my goals was to pass both exams (ICND 1 and 2) and become certified by the end of May 2019:

(02-06-2019, 09:34 PM)Rust Wrote: [ -> ]2. Sub-goal of the one above is to become CCNA certified by the end of May 2019 (this one might be a little over ambitious for me, but we'll see) and get my foot in the door somewhere.

That's not going to happen. At my current study rate I am tracking to take the first exam (ICND1) some time next month (April). That's about 2 months of study for one exam. The second exam (ICND2) is supposed to be even more difficult than the first and may require more time. So a more realistic estimate for becoming fully certified would be August 1st. Wayyy later than I initially anticipated, but looking back at my first post I did admit that May might have been over ambitious. So I've changed the date on my second goal as follows:

1. Main long term goal is to be a successful network engineer who enjoys his job.
2. Sub-goal of the one above is to become CCNA certified by August 1st and get my foot in the door somewhere.
3. Sub-goal of the one above is to study for at least a few hours every single day.

Also I should admit that I've been slacking on goal 3 lately. Need to remedy that.

(03-29-2019, 09:28 AM)Rust Wrote: [ -> ]Also I should admit that I've been slacking on goal 3 lately. Need to remedy that.

Remedied.

Been labbing all of yesterday evening and throughout last night. It's now almost 4:30am and I'm forcing myself to take a break. I'll just do one chapter of the textbook later this morning, then spend the rest of the day fighting the urge to sleep, hopefully resulting in me sleeping at night again.

Bad: My sleeping pattern is still messed up.

Good: The majority of my waking hours is spent on goal #3 and I'm progressing nicely with regard to my studies. At this rate I should complete the textbook before next week.

Due to some fortuitous happenings I now have some extra spending funds, so I will be purchasing US/LM 4 some time next week. Timing couldn't be better because my debit card expires (and by extension my online shopping privileges) at the end of this month. And in this country it's a pain to get a new one if unemployed. So if I ever want to shop online again after this month, I need to achieve my goals and get that job. More incentive to execute lol.

Not sure if I should make a new thread when that switch happens. I don't post too often (still on the first page of this journal) so I'm thinking that I could just rename this one when the time comes, unless I am advised to do otherwise.

I would start a new thread when you purchase USLM4. If you rename this one, and people start reading from the beginning, it could be confusing for them.

(04-20-2019, 07:35 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]I would start a new thread when you purchase USLM4.  If you rename this one, and people start reading from the beginning, it could be confusing for them.

Good point. Will make a new thread then.