04-10-2011, 01:00 PM
Time to unearth this journal, which is more or less a "general purpose" journal. My last post was dated last year in August, which is when I started Alpha Male 2010 and before that, I ran the BIATBW 6.0, ASC, and Aura of Sexiness.
With Alpha Male 2010 finished, I still feel that I am getting effects from that sub with things like thinking more for myself. Still, I had ups and downs upon finishing the sub (everybody has mood swings, that's just life! You can't stay up on the top forever because if you did, you wouldn't grow. That's how it is!)
Now.. post Alpha Male 2010, I started BIATBW 7.1 and since I had a mild bout with the flu during half of the session, I pretty much missed out on what it had to offer. I ran it for 32 days and I really didn't notice much, except that most guys either giving me more respect (a byproduct of Alpha Male) or acting repulsed, jealous, or distant around me. My mood was also rather negative most of the time, esp. during the 1st half when I was sick. I still have garbage programming left over I guess which is why I felt the way I did.
I'm running the BIATBW sexually sub as of now and it seems to have more immediate effects vs. the "regular" sub. I am getting more looks from women and I'm finding myself looking into women's eyes more often.
I'm torn on either running this sub for 32 days or jumping ship and starting Sex Magnet which I just bought and starting that one tonight. It looks to me via the notes that the 1st 3 stages of SM are basically a continuation of Alpha Male (let's call it stage 7 through 9) with some sexual stuff thrown in. Being that it states it kills neediness in the first 3 stages, I'm game. I just want that demon cast out and locked up in the abyss!
And since I'm seeing myself more and more like Hugh Hefner, then I ask myself, why not? Quit holding back and jump in, ya wuss!
Another demon that I want ostracized is the Apathy demon, which tends to rear its ugly head and it did so during stage 6 of Alpha. My desire to go work out seemed to dissipate and I felt a bit too laid back and not driven. My attitude more or less was like, "yeah, whatever!
"
Despite all of that, I feel that I was definitely helped by Alpha Male 2010. I don't lean on anybody and I pride myself of being independent. I still have a few rough edges that need to be softened. I don't want to scare anybody off!
Another thing that Alpha Male brought up is me facing the fact that I'm not happy where I live so I have a desire to move. I'm talking with my half sister in Houston. While it's not San Diego, it will be a major step up because where I live, I just don't find it fulfilling and I refuse to put on a fake happy mask and pretend that I'm happy. It's incongruent and I know people can see right through it in a second. So within the remainder of this year, I will be getting my ducks in a row.... selling unneeded junk on ebay for extra money and set sail.
With Alpha Male 2010 finished, I still feel that I am getting effects from that sub with things like thinking more for myself. Still, I had ups and downs upon finishing the sub (everybody has mood swings, that's just life! You can't stay up on the top forever because if you did, you wouldn't grow. That's how it is!)
Now.. post Alpha Male 2010, I started BIATBW 7.1 and since I had a mild bout with the flu during half of the session, I pretty much missed out on what it had to offer. I ran it for 32 days and I really didn't notice much, except that most guys either giving me more respect (a byproduct of Alpha Male) or acting repulsed, jealous, or distant around me. My mood was also rather negative most of the time, esp. during the 1st half when I was sick. I still have garbage programming left over I guess which is why I felt the way I did.
I'm running the BIATBW sexually sub as of now and it seems to have more immediate effects vs. the "regular" sub. I am getting more looks from women and I'm finding myself looking into women's eyes more often.
I'm torn on either running this sub for 32 days or jumping ship and starting Sex Magnet which I just bought and starting that one tonight. It looks to me via the notes that the 1st 3 stages of SM are basically a continuation of Alpha Male (let's call it stage 7 through 9) with some sexual stuff thrown in. Being that it states it kills neediness in the first 3 stages, I'm game. I just want that demon cast out and locked up in the abyss!
And since I'm seeing myself more and more like Hugh Hefner, then I ask myself, why not? Quit holding back and jump in, ya wuss!
Another demon that I want ostracized is the Apathy demon, which tends to rear its ugly head and it did so during stage 6 of Alpha. My desire to go work out seemed to dissipate and I felt a bit too laid back and not driven. My attitude more or less was like, "yeah, whatever!
"Despite all of that, I feel that I was definitely helped by Alpha Male 2010. I don't lean on anybody and I pride myself of being independent. I still have a few rough edges that need to be softened. I don't want to scare anybody off!
Another thing that Alpha Male brought up is me facing the fact that I'm not happy where I live so I have a desire to move. I'm talking with my half sister in Houston. While it's not San Diego, it will be a major step up because where I live, I just don't find it fulfilling and I refuse to put on a fake happy mask and pretend that I'm happy. It's incongruent and I know people can see right through it in a second. So within the remainder of this year, I will be getting my ducks in a row.... selling unneeded junk on ebay for extra money and set sail.
Get your pickles!!!
