Cycle #4, day 3:
Many thoughts go in my minds that makes me wonder how to write them. I guess, I'll just write them as they come and it will be fine I guess.
1. I wonder if overcoming fears can make previous programming resurface. I'm thinking specifically DMSI and SM. I have 3 situations in mind where either opportunities have presented themselves to me on silver plates or I did notice something in a way a woman was looking at me. I caught myself locking eye contact with one of them and felt something. For the fraction of second that the eye lock lasted, I had the time to notice her pupils dilate and I had the interpretation that this was attraction (or this is the AM6 way to reframe everything positively).
Maybe the changes performed on me by OF is perceived by others and their behavior around me is starting to be different.
In all those occasions, I didn't act on the desire I felt by expressing it. However, I'm not sure if I did hold my desire by fear or for other reasons.
2. This afternoon, I went to an event in downtown where I live. One funny thing did happen. I met a couple of people that become instant celebrities on FB with videos that became viral. I had very fun exchanges with all of them. On my way, I was having a behavior that social proof should have made me very uncomfortable but I was 100% unaffected by it.
So if I was to resume the events of the last few days. I got rid of any social anxiety that I could have before (I didn't have much). I still have some anxiety around sexuality. They must be rooted deeper than the social ones. Rome hasn't been built in one day. I notice improvements in the 4th cycle but the work of overcoming all my fears isn't over for sure.
Update:
I forgot to mention but lately, I need a lot more sleep and despite the larger amount of sleep that I have, I start feeling tired earlier than usual in the evening... This is affecting my productivity...
Many thoughts go in my minds that makes me wonder how to write them. I guess, I'll just write them as they come and it will be fine I guess.
1. I wonder if overcoming fears can make previous programming resurface. I'm thinking specifically DMSI and SM. I have 3 situations in mind where either opportunities have presented themselves to me on silver plates or I did notice something in a way a woman was looking at me. I caught myself locking eye contact with one of them and felt something. For the fraction of second that the eye lock lasted, I had the time to notice her pupils dilate and I had the interpretation that this was attraction (or this is the AM6 way to reframe everything positively).
Maybe the changes performed on me by OF is perceived by others and their behavior around me is starting to be different.
In all those occasions, I didn't act on the desire I felt by expressing it. However, I'm not sure if I did hold my desire by fear or for other reasons.
2. This afternoon, I went to an event in downtown where I live. One funny thing did happen. I met a couple of people that become instant celebrities on FB with videos that became viral. I had very fun exchanges with all of them. On my way, I was having a behavior that social proof should have made me very uncomfortable but I was 100% unaffected by it.
So if I was to resume the events of the last few days. I got rid of any social anxiety that I could have before (I didn't have much). I still have some anxiety around sexuality. They must be rooted deeper than the social ones. Rome hasn't been built in one day. I notice improvements in the 4th cycle but the work of overcoming all my fears isn't over for sure.
Update:
I forgot to mention but lately, I need a lot more sleep and despite the larger amount of sleep that I have, I start feeling tired earlier than usual in the evening... This is affecting my productivity...
