07-24-2020, 07:25 AM
Cycle 2, day 6:
Last night dream did touch a very sensitive topic.
I was inside my childhood house in the living room with my sister and my now deceased mother. What we did were like some sort of family therapy and both were on my case. They were asking me why I'm the way that I am today and I did evoke a memory where I was alone with my father when I was 3-4 years old and he did kick me out of the house by the front door and did lock the door. I was crying and knocking on the door to get back in. I must have been left alone for about 30-45 minutes alone outside.
Now, this morning, I cannot tell if the memory is real or fake. If it is real, I cannot tell how long I would have stayed outside like that because at this age, the notion of time isn't well constructed. If it is real, it could have lasted 2 minutes and felt forever in my child perception.
The reason why I'm not sure if this memory is real or not, it is because I do remember rather rough and unjustified punishment given by my father when he felt that I did disrespect his 'authority'. That particular one, isn't one that I do clearly remember but it would be in line with some treatment that I got from him at a young age.
Now that I got this dream. It is now becoming obvious why I now have such trouble with authority. I hated having a boss telling me what to do. This is why, I launch a biz on my own. This is why the mandatory mask rule from the government piss me off so much.
It is not clear exactly how it relates to fear... but I'm starting to dream about very sensitive stuff...
Last night dream did touch a very sensitive topic.
I was inside my childhood house in the living room with my sister and my now deceased mother. What we did were like some sort of family therapy and both were on my case. They were asking me why I'm the way that I am today and I did evoke a memory where I was alone with my father when I was 3-4 years old and he did kick me out of the house by the front door and did lock the door. I was crying and knocking on the door to get back in. I must have been left alone for about 30-45 minutes alone outside.
Now, this morning, I cannot tell if the memory is real or fake. If it is real, I cannot tell how long I would have stayed outside like that because at this age, the notion of time isn't well constructed. If it is real, it could have lasted 2 minutes and felt forever in my child perception.
The reason why I'm not sure if this memory is real or not, it is because I do remember rather rough and unjustified punishment given by my father when he felt that I did disrespect his 'authority'. That particular one, isn't one that I do clearly remember but it would be in line with some treatment that I got from him at a young age.
Now that I got this dream. It is now becoming obvious why I now have such trouble with authority. I hated having a boss telling me what to do. This is why, I launch a biz on my own. This is why the mandatory mask rule from the government piss me off so much.
It is not clear exactly how it relates to fear... but I'm starting to dream about very sensitive stuff...
