UMS v3.1 - Which Is to Be the Master

[ReconGunner]

Run 2
Stage 2
Cycle 3 of 4 - Mid-cycle

Quiet the last few days. Good trip. Heading home in the next few days.

[ReconGunner]

Run 2
Stage 2
Cycle 3 of 4

Home again.

As to the stuff I hinted at earlier...

A couple of weeks ago I had an odd version of an occasional dream. The dream happens when I have an overnight erection; in the dream my erection is larger than it is in reality. In this instance of the dream, I wondered to myself if I could will it even larger. I was able to do so twice within the dream; it became substantially larger each time. It'd be nice to be able to do that outside of a dream! 

I had a great trip, visiting family and friends. Being around my old haunts was not at all nostalgic. Memories, sure. Not reliving them, though. None of the regrets this time. I was also less tired after long days of driving. It took three days in a row before I started to feel fatigued.

I also had a thought that came to mind several times regarding my current job: "It's time to move on." There's no opportunity for me in my current arrangement, and no guarantee that it will continue past next summer. With my recent professional certification and some other training opportunities I have identified, I need to hit the job search circuit again.

This cycle of Stage 2 was less stressful than the first two cycles. Which is a relief; it was getting a bit rough for a short while.

[ReconGunner]

Run 2
Stage 2
Cycle 4 of 4 - Mid-cycle

Wrapping up Stage 2 for this run. Nothing new in the last few days.

Looking back, I've been in a more positive mood for the last couple of weeks or so. Not "manic high" mood; if my previous normal mood was "neutral", my recent normal mood is "positive". I still have typical mood changes - upset or happier depending - but my baseline is definitely positive.

Lots of internal stuff so far this run, especially during Stage 2. Four days rest, then on to Stage 3.

[ReconGunner]

Run 2
Stage 2
Cycle 4 of 4

Stage 2 complete. Stage 3 starts tonight.

Stage 2 was intense. And through it all, the overall improved baseline mood. I'm very hopeful about what this run of Stage 3 will bring.

[ReconGunner]

Run 2
Stage 3
Cycle 1 of 8

Nothing significant. 4 day cycles pass quickly!

[ReconGunner]

Run 2
Stage 3
Cycle 2 of 8

Metamorphosis.

Most famously, the process by which a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. Safe in an enveloping and protective cocoon, the creature achieves its full potential by transformation from its prior form to a new form, gaining new appearance and abilities.

I am in, and have been in, just such a cocoon - not literally and physically, of course. Rather, I am in a protected place psychologically and financially. I am transforming into a version of me who has and maintains UMS. And that will not be the only transformation that I can undergo, just the current one.

Just as the caterpillar doesn't "know" what they will become until the exit their cocoon, I do not know what will get me to the state of UMS. Not yet. When it is necessary for me to know, I will know.

In the meantime, more practically speaking, i am looking at another professional certification, this one in a hot area within my profession. Earning a certification this fall has given me renewed confidence; I can tackle this newer, hotter certification. And whether these certifications are part of my path to UMS, or simply part of the cocoon, doesn't matter. I am patient.