Time to Level UP!

[Shannon]

Day 2
No effects so far. I been feeling the depression even more and so many past memories are resurfacing. Stuff I thought I forgot about are coming back. My body feels anxious and my vibe with people are off.

Did you stop to think that the part in bold was the effect you are having so far? This is what happens when you start pushing against the negative beliefs that are holding you down and holding you back. They don't want to be replaced, and you can get results like this in the beginning. Changing things like this is a process, and you're not going to get positive effects instantly if this is what you are subconsciously focusing on and insisting must be true.

Week 1
No idea whats going on. Feel like more in a haze. Mind is clouded. Mood hasn't improved by much. Interactions with people vary. My low mood definitely effects it. My voice isn't as loud and feels held back; Like I don't want to be heard. Also feel like I don't know how to behave or act. I'm lost during any situation and don't know how to be.

What's happening is that you are making changes that some part of you does not want to make and it is resulting in turbulence subconsciously, which is experienced at the conscious level as what you describe. You are apparently so attuned to an identity level experience of low self esteem that increasing it is making you feel confused and lost. Now you must learn what it is to be what the program is pushing for, someone who has high self esteem.

If your belief system and even identity are built in such a way as to result in and embrace low self esteem, this will be a time of significant changes for you, during which you may feel lost, confused and uncertain. That is perfectly natural, and it's a normal part of the growth process.

You are changing from someone whose beliefs result in low self esteem, and whose identity is "low self esteem" to someone whose beliefs result in higher self esteem, and whose identity is no longer "low self esteem".

This is very good progress, Keep going.