Day 14
It is with great joy and relief that I get to share with you my amazing day at work.
Not only did my anxiety dissapear 100 percent, I was playful with everyone, fun, HAPPY and enjoying myself completely.
I realized it wasn't resistance but my hormone levels that were fucking me up. (dbol is a derivative of testosteron but not exactly the same thing) so basically it made me feel messed up in the head.
I did my normal dose of test enanthate today and I felt unbelievably amazing.
my anxiety dissapeared and I was super happy all day at work. Completely opposite of the days before.
I'm so relieved and happy, I was losing my mind the other days before. Probably the worst social anxiety I've had was those days.
Today was completely different, I was confident with all the waitresses, social and I was completely high self esteem again.
There is one waitress who I really like her personality and would actually consider dating her.
She's not the most attractive one there but I like her the most, she's one of the two woman I've met in the last three years that has made me feel like i want to take care of this woman, I want to see her again, and I actually want to invest time into her.
She's super sweet and has a beautiful face and energy about her. I think our personalitys don't conflict at all. She doesn't seem slutty unlike allot of the other waitresses and she seems to be very genuine.
she seemed stressed and I went up to her and said something along the lines of "you seem stressed out, how are you feeling?" she said "shitty" I said "are customers bitching at you again?" (yesterday she had a bad day too). I forget her response to that but I said "Well if there is anything I can do to make you feel better let me know" Then I walked away. she said "Your really nice"
I know PUA's talk about nice guys finish last, but my eye contact, body language was solid. I was face to face liek 6-7 inches away looking into her eyes, completely confident/assertive body language and I had no feelings of weakness or shyness unlike the other days prior.
then few hours later I got some frys from a coworker and I knew she was hungry cuz i heard her talking to another coworker that she was really hungry and felt sick. So I went up to her and asked her if she wanted fries and if she's still hungry.
We shared the frys together and we talked a bit.
Then near the end of the night I was talking to her some more and I found out she's going to a snowboarding trip (for drinking with friends) next weekend and wont be at work. before she left I yelled out across the hall really loud and dominantly "When are you coming back from your trip!"
She said "next monday" and I probably had a look of disappointment on my face because i'm very emphatic and also wear my heart on my sleeve and my face tells allot about how I feel.
She gave me a massive smile and wierd facial expression that basically indicated that she knows I want to see her again and that I like her
I'm 90 percent sure she likes me back. We have a weird connection that I'm pretty sure she feels too.
I'm going to try and take it easy and not worry to much about it but this is the first time in a long time I met a woman I actually like her personality and not just looks.
I was extremely confident around her today and I forgot to mention at one point I told her "I feel like your the most outgoing lady that works here' and she had a big smile and was suprised and was flattered and or enjoyed my comment.
I think she's way more shy than she appears to be on the surface.
I told her I'm kinda shy, but I can be outgoing too, I used to party allot" and she's like "Yeah that'll get me outgoing too
"
The funny thing is I wasn't shy at all not even the slightest today so my body language/demeanor completely contradicted what I said. In fact after I said i'm shy she said something along the lines of "Nooooo" like she didn't believe that I was shy.
But I was really shy the days prior so I think that's why I was open about it.
I'm not exactly sure why I said that but I think it was good. She did give me slight indicators of interest the days before when I was shy around her. I think she's really attracted to my physical appearance & NOW my personality as well. She has me on facebook too so she got to see what kind of person I am and my "personality" based on my posts / pictures.
I'm very honest and open on facebook and real. Not egotistic like I was in the past.
DMSI changed me the most when it came to FB. I used to care about what I post and whatnot or think about it, or think about my likes/status's and whether or not I should post something based on on who's going to see it. Now I just post whatever I want whenever I want.
It's important to note I was way more egostic on FB prior to running alpha male programs. Alpha male made me not give a fuck either.
Yeah I like this chick, I'm hoping it works out, I think it will. But yeah I'm going to try and just let it be and not think much of it.
I won't see her for another 2 weeks so DMSI 3.1 (YUP I"M SWITCHING PROGRAMS TONIGHT
) is going to make me that much smoother and sexual / attractive.
Hopefully get some other woman there hitting on me so she becomes competitive and see's me as high value if she doesn't already. (I think she does)
So happy I got my test back. What a emotional rollercoaster I've been on. I suffered the consequences of my actions and I deserved the suffering that I went through.
It is with great joy and relief that I get to share with you my amazing day at work.
Not only did my anxiety dissapear 100 percent, I was playful with everyone, fun, HAPPY and enjoying myself completely.
I realized it wasn't resistance but my hormone levels that were fucking me up. (dbol is a derivative of testosteron but not exactly the same thing) so basically it made me feel messed up in the head.
I did my normal dose of test enanthate today and I felt unbelievably amazing.
my anxiety dissapeared and I was super happy all day at work. Completely opposite of the days before.
I'm so relieved and happy, I was losing my mind the other days before. Probably the worst social anxiety I've had was those days.
Today was completely different, I was confident with all the waitresses, social and I was completely high self esteem again.
There is one waitress who I really like her personality and would actually consider dating her.
She's not the most attractive one there but I like her the most, she's one of the two woman I've met in the last three years that has made me feel like i want to take care of this woman, I want to see her again, and I actually want to invest time into her.
She's super sweet and has a beautiful face and energy about her. I think our personalitys don't conflict at all. She doesn't seem slutty unlike allot of the other waitresses and she seems to be very genuine.
she seemed stressed and I went up to her and said something along the lines of "you seem stressed out, how are you feeling?" she said "shitty" I said "are customers bitching at you again?" (yesterday she had a bad day too). I forget her response to that but I said "Well if there is anything I can do to make you feel better let me know" Then I walked away. she said "Your really nice"
I know PUA's talk about nice guys finish last, but my eye contact, body language was solid. I was face to face liek 6-7 inches away looking into her eyes, completely confident/assertive body language and I had no feelings of weakness or shyness unlike the other days prior.
then few hours later I got some frys from a coworker and I knew she was hungry cuz i heard her talking to another coworker that she was really hungry and felt sick. So I went up to her and asked her if she wanted fries and if she's still hungry.
We shared the frys together and we talked a bit.
Then near the end of the night I was talking to her some more and I found out she's going to a snowboarding trip (for drinking with friends) next weekend and wont be at work. before she left I yelled out across the hall really loud and dominantly "When are you coming back from your trip!"
She said "next monday" and I probably had a look of disappointment on my face because i'm very emphatic and also wear my heart on my sleeve and my face tells allot about how I feel.
She gave me a massive smile and wierd facial expression that basically indicated that she knows I want to see her again and that I like her
I'm 90 percent sure she likes me back. We have a weird connection that I'm pretty sure she feels too.
I'm going to try and take it easy and not worry to much about it but this is the first time in a long time I met a woman I actually like her personality and not just looks.
I was extremely confident around her today and I forgot to mention at one point I told her "I feel like your the most outgoing lady that works here' and she had a big smile and was suprised and was flattered and or enjoyed my comment.
I think she's way more shy than she appears to be on the surface.
I told her I'm kinda shy, but I can be outgoing too, I used to party allot" and she's like "Yeah that'll get me outgoing too
"The funny thing is I wasn't shy at all not even the slightest today so my body language/demeanor completely contradicted what I said. In fact after I said i'm shy she said something along the lines of "Nooooo" like she didn't believe that I was shy.
But I was really shy the days prior so I think that's why I was open about it.
I'm not exactly sure why I said that but I think it was good. She did give me slight indicators of interest the days before when I was shy around her. I think she's really attracted to my physical appearance & NOW my personality as well. She has me on facebook too so she got to see what kind of person I am and my "personality" based on my posts / pictures.
I'm very honest and open on facebook and real. Not egotistic like I was in the past.
DMSI changed me the most when it came to FB. I used to care about what I post and whatnot or think about it, or think about my likes/status's and whether or not I should post something based on on who's going to see it. Now I just post whatever I want whenever I want.
It's important to note I was way more egostic on FB prior to running alpha male programs. Alpha male made me not give a fuck either.
Yeah I like this chick, I'm hoping it works out, I think it will. But yeah I'm going to try and just let it be and not think much of it.
I won't see her for another 2 weeks so DMSI 3.1 (YUP I"M SWITCHING PROGRAMS TONIGHT
) is going to make me that much smoother and sexual / attractive. Hopefully get some other woman there hitting on me so she becomes competitive and see's me as high value if she doesn't already. (I think she does)
So happy I got my test back. What a emotional rollercoaster I've been on. I suffered the consequences of my actions and I deserved the suffering that I went through.
