07-12-2022, 07:31 PM
Day 39,
Just submitted my exam for AWS Systems Operations Administrator; took three additional and consecutive hours on a weekday. Couldn't get up to use the restroom. Couldn't drink or eat. Feel pretty good about it.
I think that the social anxiety that I feel derives from a few things. I think it goes like this.
--> Fear of large groups
--> Fear of the opinions of attractive women and their suitors (my competition)
--> Fear of their attention
--> Fear of their judgments of my inadequacy
--> Fear of my actually being inadequate, and not 'good enough'
--> A belief that I'm not 'enough' to be deserving of the things I want.
And from there, I can generate a variety of experiences from childhood where I developed those feelings of 'not enough'. I will be mindful about these things going forward.
Just submitted my exam for AWS Systems Operations Administrator; took three additional and consecutive hours on a weekday. Couldn't get up to use the restroom. Couldn't drink or eat. Feel pretty good about it.
I think that the social anxiety that I feel derives from a few things. I think it goes like this.
--> Fear of large groups
--> Fear of the opinions of attractive women and their suitors (my competition)
--> Fear of their attention
--> Fear of their judgments of my inadequacy
--> Fear of my actually being inadequate, and not 'good enough'
--> A belief that I'm not 'enough' to be deserving of the things I want.
And from there, I can generate a variety of experiences from childhood where I developed those feelings of 'not enough'. I will be mindful about these things going forward.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
