10-19-2019, 10:24 AM
THolt,
I'll give my experience as of late. I'm a normal introvert, meaning I gather energy from being with a small group of people, whereas with extroverts, their energy builds when around large groups of people. That's what I was born with, and I enjoy relating to others.
I was on DMSI 3.3.2 for less than 2 weeks, and there's some rocket-fuel in it to be social. I remember driving home from work, and really DESIRING to be around others. It stood out to me since I've never had that experience.
But what I have experienced time and time again is a major lack of self-love and appreciation for myself. That, all by itself, is why I've isolated easily, whether at work or home. For example, I wanted to follow that impulse when driving home while doing DMSI. But....what stopped me was knowing (or fearing) putting on a front, a face, that was not me. I felt kind of heavy emotionally at that time, and me expecting others to fill or fix me has only hurt me many times. Nobody else can fix or really nurture the me which is inside.
For myself, I'm trying to heal the confused and fearful little boy inside who believes every fear about imagined possibilities. I'm on UMS now, and I know intuitively that friendships are not hard. But fears exist which fight to keep their place. They keep me where I am, and joy is felt whenever I'm freed from old beliefs and feelings.
So, a FRM focused on such fears would be desirable for me. Universal Detox alongside this would be useful since I'm asking myself "what am I expecting when being around people?" (Even reading that, I knew it was a fear-based question). Knowing and trusting my truths would help me disentangle myself from lies to myself, and I'd be able to keep it simple when with others.
Relationships aren't hard. But fears fight me so I'll avoid, avoid, and avoid them some more. FUCK fear!
I'll give my experience as of late. I'm a normal introvert, meaning I gather energy from being with a small group of people, whereas with extroverts, their energy builds when around large groups of people. That's what I was born with, and I enjoy relating to others.
I was on DMSI 3.3.2 for less than 2 weeks, and there's some rocket-fuel in it to be social. I remember driving home from work, and really DESIRING to be around others. It stood out to me since I've never had that experience.
But what I have experienced time and time again is a major lack of self-love and appreciation for myself. That, all by itself, is why I've isolated easily, whether at work or home. For example, I wanted to follow that impulse when driving home while doing DMSI. But....what stopped me was knowing (or fearing) putting on a front, a face, that was not me. I felt kind of heavy emotionally at that time, and me expecting others to fill or fix me has only hurt me many times. Nobody else can fix or really nurture the me which is inside.
For myself, I'm trying to heal the confused and fearful little boy inside who believes every fear about imagined possibilities. I'm on UMS now, and I know intuitively that friendships are not hard. But fears exist which fight to keep their place. They keep me where I am, and joy is felt whenever I'm freed from old beliefs and feelings.
So, a FRM focused on such fears would be desirable for me. Universal Detox alongside this would be useful since I'm asking myself "what am I expecting when being around people?" (Even reading that, I knew it was a fear-based question). Knowing and trusting my truths would help me disentangle myself from lies to myself, and I'd be able to keep it simple when with others.
Relationships aren't hard. But fears fight me so I'll avoid, avoid, and avoid them some more. FUCK fear!
I want to be FREE!
