11-02-2015, 10:50 AM
The Happiness Change Curve
The second instance when negative emotions are necessary is when
we make a significant change to improve our condition. Why don’t people
stick with new habits or actions they know they need to in order to be happy? Occam’s Razor suggests the answer is because new habits are uncomfortable (i.e. unhappiness-causing), so we stop doing them.
This brings me to something I call the Happiness Change Curve. It’s a
chart that I always keep in mind whenever I pursue some new activity or
project in order to improve my condition to ensure my long-term
happiness. It’s as simple as it is accurate. It looks like this:
![[Image: unbenanntaecikjrdfz.jpg]](http://img5.fotos-hochladen.net/uploads/unbenanntaecikjrdfz.jpg)
The Happiness Change Curve shows that you start at a state of
discomfort, enough to want to change. Then you make a change to better
your condition. Examples of this change could be a divorce, starting a new
business, starting to exercise to lose weight, going back to school, or
practicing a new skill you're unfamiliar with.
When you first start into the change and new behavior, it soon gets
painful. Your happiness drops. However, if you stick with it, you start to
see results, your life starts to improve, and you get happier. Soon, when
the habit or system becomes second nature and the new results become
part of who you are, you are now at a new level of happiness, higher than
when you started.
Let’s say you look in the mirror and see a beer gut where your flat
stomach used to be. You are dissatisfied. Your happiness level is about a
three on a scale from one to ten. For the first time in your life, you decide
to start running three miles every morning to lose weight. Over the next
week, you’re running through your neighborhood, your fat bouncing up
and down, panting like a dog. Are you happy? Hell no. You’re sweaty,
you’re cramping and in pain, you feel like your heart is going to explode,
you look silly, and you feel embarrassed. You’re actually less happy than
before you started exercising. Your happiness level was at a three, but now
you’re at about a one and a half. It sucks.
It’s possible you might quit because of this unhappiness. Then you’ll
snap right back to a three and stay there. Forever.
However, if you push through the low point of the running (and the
dieting), soon a few things will happen:
1. You’ll start losing weight and your stomach will start getting
smaller.
2. You’ll start hating running less.
3. Making the effort to run daily will seem like less "work."
Over time, your new habit, and the results it creates for you, will
boost your happiness to seven or eight, where it will stay forever (as long
as you keep exercising and watching what you eat). I’m using exercising
and losing weight as an example, but again, this can apply to just about
any new habit or project you’re going to undertake in order to better
yourself.
When I was a young man, I worked in the corporate world with a
normal eight-to-five job. I hated it. I wanted my own business. So I took
action and made it happen. As I discuss in detail in Chapter 19, when I
first quit my job and started my business full time at age 24, the
subsequent two years were a very stressful time. I had littlemoney, very
little business, and there were many months I could not pay my bills. At
one point I almost lost my house and was pennies away from bankruptcy. I
was worse off and less happy than when I had my corporate job.
I stuck with it, and soon my income began to rise. Eventually I was
making more money and working fewer hours than when I was working at
my old job. Then I doubled the income I was making at my old job. Then I
tripled it. I had achieved a new high level of happiness and have
maintained it since. However, I had to persevere through that sharp but
temporary dip in happiness that comes atthe low point of the Happiness
Change Curve. The temporary unhappiness was well worth the long-term
happiness I now experience every day.
One of the few core differences between a successful person and an
unsuccessful one is that unsuccessful people either fear the dip, or leap
back to the status quo when the dip starts becoming uncomfortable. These
people are stuck forever at their current (low) level of happiness.
Any time I start a new endeavor to achieve a new goal or make some
positive change in my life, I always remember the Happiness Change
Curve. I know that once I start with the change my happiness will actually
decrease. I know I will have to suffer through this temporaryunhappiness
for a while until I can get to the point where my happiness will be higher
than when I first started. I do two things:
1. I make sure that the low point of the Happiness Change Curve
will be as brief as possible, and I try to get it over with as fast
as I can.
2. I make sure not to quit when the unhappiness is at its worst,
and stick with it. I remind myself the unhappiness is
temporary, and the good stuff is coming right around the
corner.
Remember the Curve as you move forward in this book. Once you
start making big changes in your life, you’re likely going to need it.
More importantly, remember that the only two times unhappiness is
acceptable is when the unhappiness is temporary, as per the above two
examples.
The Unchained Man – The Alpha Male 2.0
The second instance when negative emotions are necessary is when
we make a significant change to improve our condition. Why don’t people
stick with new habits or actions they know they need to in order to be happy? Occam’s Razor suggests the answer is because new habits are uncomfortable (i.e. unhappiness-causing), so we stop doing them.
This brings me to something I call the Happiness Change Curve. It’s a
chart that I always keep in mind whenever I pursue some new activity or
project in order to improve my condition to ensure my long-term
happiness. It’s as simple as it is accurate. It looks like this:
The Happiness Change Curve shows that you start at a state of
discomfort, enough to want to change. Then you make a change to better
your condition. Examples of this change could be a divorce, starting a new
business, starting to exercise to lose weight, going back to school, or
practicing a new skill you're unfamiliar with.
When you first start into the change and new behavior, it soon gets
painful. Your happiness drops. However, if you stick with it, you start to
see results, your life starts to improve, and you get happier. Soon, when
the habit or system becomes second nature and the new results become
part of who you are, you are now at a new level of happiness, higher than
when you started.
Let’s say you look in the mirror and see a beer gut where your flat
stomach used to be. You are dissatisfied. Your happiness level is about a
three on a scale from one to ten. For the first time in your life, you decide
to start running three miles every morning to lose weight. Over the next
week, you’re running through your neighborhood, your fat bouncing up
and down, panting like a dog. Are you happy? Hell no. You’re sweaty,
you’re cramping and in pain, you feel like your heart is going to explode,
you look silly, and you feel embarrassed. You’re actually less happy than
before you started exercising. Your happiness level was at a three, but now
you’re at about a one and a half. It sucks.
It’s possible you might quit because of this unhappiness. Then you’ll
snap right back to a three and stay there. Forever.
However, if you push through the low point of the running (and the
dieting), soon a few things will happen:
1. You’ll start losing weight and your stomach will start getting
smaller.
2. You’ll start hating running less.
3. Making the effort to run daily will seem like less "work."
Over time, your new habit, and the results it creates for you, will
boost your happiness to seven or eight, where it will stay forever (as long
as you keep exercising and watching what you eat). I’m using exercising
and losing weight as an example, but again, this can apply to just about
any new habit or project you’re going to undertake in order to better
yourself.
When I was a young man, I worked in the corporate world with a
normal eight-to-five job. I hated it. I wanted my own business. So I took
action and made it happen. As I discuss in detail in Chapter 19, when I
first quit my job and started my business full time at age 24, the
subsequent two years were a very stressful time. I had littlemoney, very
little business, and there were many months I could not pay my bills. At
one point I almost lost my house and was pennies away from bankruptcy. I
was worse off and less happy than when I had my corporate job.
I stuck with it, and soon my income began to rise. Eventually I was
making more money and working fewer hours than when I was working at
my old job. Then I doubled the income I was making at my old job. Then I
tripled it. I had achieved a new high level of happiness and have
maintained it since. However, I had to persevere through that sharp but
temporary dip in happiness that comes atthe low point of the Happiness
Change Curve. The temporary unhappiness was well worth the long-term
happiness I now experience every day.
One of the few core differences between a successful person and an
unsuccessful one is that unsuccessful people either fear the dip, or leap
back to the status quo when the dip starts becoming uncomfortable. These
people are stuck forever at their current (low) level of happiness.
Any time I start a new endeavor to achieve a new goal or make some
positive change in my life, I always remember the Happiness Change
Curve. I know that once I start with the change my happiness will actually
decrease. I know I will have to suffer through this temporaryunhappiness
for a while until I can get to the point where my happiness will be higher
than when I first started. I do two things:
1. I make sure that the low point of the Happiness Change Curve
will be as brief as possible, and I try to get it over with as fast
as I can.
2. I make sure not to quit when the unhappiness is at its worst,
and stick with it. I remind myself the unhappiness is
temporary, and the good stuff is coming right around the
corner.
Remember the Curve as you move forward in this book. Once you
start making big changes in your life, you’re likely going to need it.
More importantly, remember that the only two times unhappiness is
acceptable is when the unhappiness is temporary, as per the above two
examples.
The Unchained Man – The Alpha Male 2.0
