11-24-2015, 01:41 PM
Hey folks, sorry Catman didn't see you there!
I actually quit OF at maybe day 14 or 15. Just had this feeling that the less fear I have, the more WM-like I'll be acting... so I thought, why not just do WM2 instead? Started that and told myself to get off the forum and focus on something else. I'm on Stage 3, Day 4 right now.
Some highlights of the last few months:
-started taking cold showers at Am6 r2 s5 and right now I'm doing the Wim Hof Method. I've noticed I'm very attracted towards all kinds of self-improvement, gym and stuff. Then again, that's often ALL I do, i.e. little socializing and such.
-At work, I've participated in a few workshops and such, and I've been very vocal and participating actively, much more than in the past. I have always clearly been, and still am, an introvert, but I've now been told by two trainers that they see me more as an extrovert. But then I'll revert at times, so its still shaky.
-I've gone out two times just by myself recently, which I found very difficult before. I was amazed at how comfortable I was both times! Not "I can do anything" comfortable, but "wow this is so nice, I really like sitting here and taking my space, looking at people" comfortable. The 1st time these 2 chicks (sisters) were looking at me so hard I had to go over (and was very warmly received), and on the 2nd time a girl approached me directly (but I lost her a bit later). Otherwise uneventful. So nothing spectacular, but still very different from the nervous hiding and running around I did before. Still seeing the girl I always have, weekly.
-Pretty easy to start convos on Tinder (more matches too?), though they (almost) never lead anywhere; usually the girls don't make the effort to keep the conversation going and I'll think I have better ways to spend my time & I'm busy with hobbies every night, so going on dates would be hard anyway.
-easy to converse with women on the rare occasions that I do. It gets dark outside at maybe after 5 pm, so this time of the year everyone just stays home or goes to the gym. You don't really stop women on dark, cold alleys :D More & more often if I run into a nice woman/girl on surprise (hallways, elevators, etc) well share nice, warm smiles and then just continue with our lives. I am definitely not "on the hunt", and I feel very little motivation to be, though I should. I guess I feel somewhat resigned towards the whole thing; "fine, be difficult (women)".
-The gym is going great. Fasting seems easier than before, somehow. I think I can see the handiwork of OF in my martial arts training (one of my ribs might be broken because of it right now, lol).
-The job marked for what I do, and where I do it, is horrible. I am working atm, but I want to upgrade and it seems I'll have to do some serious changes to make it happen. So many unknowns, so little time, and no one to ask or look up to. I guess that's why I'm so drawn to exercise & self-development; its something I can control. With the job market, and women to a lesser degree, I feel like I'm always confused & out of choices. Unhappy with my current direction, willing to work for a change, but unable to find a new direction (outlet) that'd excite me. The result is a lot of blocked energy and negativity. This same pattern also applies within the work I do atm, so it repeats on many levels and contexts. Feeling drained and beating myself up for not getting excited about something new. Well, I am very excited about the cold training I've started (WHM), but I can't find anything like that to make a career of. Every job application I see asks for extreme passion and dedication, yet fails to offer anything worth such passion. Can't work for myself, because what the hell would I do? My only idea is to start learning web development and move, just to expose myself to something new. Anyway, \rant. Its gonna be ok, and I can see I'm slowly moving from apathy to pissed off, which is good. Its also very pretty outside right now :)
-Listening times are around 14-18 hours per day. Stream with sleep phones at night, ultrasonic with ear plugs or headphones during the day.
I actually quit OF at maybe day 14 or 15. Just had this feeling that the less fear I have, the more WM-like I'll be acting... so I thought, why not just do WM2 instead? Started that and told myself to get off the forum and focus on something else. I'm on Stage 3, Day 4 right now.
Some highlights of the last few months:
-started taking cold showers at Am6 r2 s5 and right now I'm doing the Wim Hof Method. I've noticed I'm very attracted towards all kinds of self-improvement, gym and stuff. Then again, that's often ALL I do, i.e. little socializing and such.
-At work, I've participated in a few workshops and such, and I've been very vocal and participating actively, much more than in the past. I have always clearly been, and still am, an introvert, but I've now been told by two trainers that they see me more as an extrovert. But then I'll revert at times, so its still shaky.
-I've gone out two times just by myself recently, which I found very difficult before. I was amazed at how comfortable I was both times! Not "I can do anything" comfortable, but "wow this is so nice, I really like sitting here and taking my space, looking at people" comfortable. The 1st time these 2 chicks (sisters) were looking at me so hard I had to go over (and was very warmly received), and on the 2nd time a girl approached me directly (but I lost her a bit later). Otherwise uneventful. So nothing spectacular, but still very different from the nervous hiding and running around I did before. Still seeing the girl I always have, weekly.
-Pretty easy to start convos on Tinder (more matches too?), though they (almost) never lead anywhere; usually the girls don't make the effort to keep the conversation going and I'll think I have better ways to spend my time & I'm busy with hobbies every night, so going on dates would be hard anyway.
-easy to converse with women on the rare occasions that I do. It gets dark outside at maybe after 5 pm, so this time of the year everyone just stays home or goes to the gym. You don't really stop women on dark, cold alleys :D More & more often if I run into a nice woman/girl on surprise (hallways, elevators, etc) well share nice, warm smiles and then just continue with our lives. I am definitely not "on the hunt", and I feel very little motivation to be, though I should. I guess I feel somewhat resigned towards the whole thing; "fine, be difficult (women)".
-The gym is going great. Fasting seems easier than before, somehow. I think I can see the handiwork of OF in my martial arts training (one of my ribs might be broken because of it right now, lol).
-The job marked for what I do, and where I do it, is horrible. I am working atm, but I want to upgrade and it seems I'll have to do some serious changes to make it happen. So many unknowns, so little time, and no one to ask or look up to. I guess that's why I'm so drawn to exercise & self-development; its something I can control. With the job market, and women to a lesser degree, I feel like I'm always confused & out of choices. Unhappy with my current direction, willing to work for a change, but unable to find a new direction (outlet) that'd excite me. The result is a lot of blocked energy and negativity. This same pattern also applies within the work I do atm, so it repeats on many levels and contexts. Feeling drained and beating myself up for not getting excited about something new. Well, I am very excited about the cold training I've started (WHM), but I can't find anything like that to make a career of. Every job application I see asks for extreme passion and dedication, yet fails to offer anything worth such passion. Can't work for myself, because what the hell would I do? My only idea is to start learning web development and move, just to expose myself to something new. Anyway, \rant. Its gonna be ok, and I can see I'm slowly moving from apathy to pissed off, which is good. Its also very pretty outside right now :)
-Listening times are around 14-18 hours per day. Stream with sleep phones at night, ultrasonic with ear plugs or headphones during the day.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
