Shannon's Journal

[Andrew]

Shannon, may I suggest some ZMA for you? I'm not sure if you've heard of it but it's a vitamin complex that will naturally increase testosterone and HGH which will allow you to get a better night's sleep which I'm pretty sure you might need. I currently am using it and I have gotten excellent results from it including vivid dreams.

Research is fuzzy, I live next to the uni that did the first very flawed study on it. But it really looks more like people who exercise a lot need more/become conditionally defficient. Supposedly when those conditions are met together it gives a larger potential for t levels, recovery etc. There aren't sufficient studies yet, but really its just zinc, magnesium aspartate, and some b-6. Can't hurt. Stay away from multi vitamins that have megadoses far past RDI. If you eat healthy you actually get beyond rdi in everything in all your food. Even unhealthy eaters get more than they think. Plus most of a multivitamin is pissed out most are not in a usable form having been separated from food. There are limits how much vitamin can be absorbed at once and the rest goes in the pisser. One of the reasons they are meant to be obtained via food.

[WildFlower]

Where about's are you considering a move to, Shannon? I'd love one day to take a trip to America - including a visit to Florida; it seems a lovely place from what I've seen.

[Ryan]

Michigan is a nice place You should live on Lake Michigan!

[mike]

Michigan is a nice place You should live on Lake Michigan!

Michigan is a nice place indeed!) I think Shannon would find Traverse City to be absolutely idyllic and post card beautiful! --- Mike

[Shannon]

I'll head back to Michigan soon enough, I'm sure.

It's been very difficult lately for me. I have been finding that I am lacking motivation, suffering bouts of feeling lost and hopeless which lead to depression, and feeling completely lost. I must now consider the proverbial pile of rubble I find myself sitting in, and try to make sense of this new change. Who am I? What do I like? Having been taking care of mom for so long, I had given up my own freedoms to do so. Now, for the first time probably ever, I am fully free to make my own choices without restriction in some ways. Family politics sure does have an unexpected impact.

My depression isn't terrible, though. It's enough that I don't enjoy it, certainly, but having suffered suicidal depression in the distant past, this is a walk in the park. I am trying to keep my chin up through staying busy cleaning, spending time with those of my friends who have not fallen away, and spending time doing the one thing I have left that brings me true joy, which is creating photographic art. Mainly, I spend my time cleaning. Mom was a bit of a collector, to put the situation in pleasant terms. Cleaning the house consists of 8-12 hour chunks of time spent throwing things away, shredding 20-year-old records and packing the car with boxes of books and bags of clothes to donate to whatever charity I have next on the list. I have two rooms mostly clean, one about 2/3rds finished and one about half way finished. I am not looking forward to the garage... but it will be nice to finally be able to unpack my bedroom and put things where they make sense.

I like my surroundings to be simple, organized, clean and fairly Spartan. I also like it to be quiet. That was exactly 180 degrees from how mom had everything, both for the surroundings and the noise level. Having the opportunity to spend time sitting alone in the quiet of the night is very healing for me. It's even better when it rains: I can actually hear the rain now, instead of having to compete with the television. Rainfall with TV commentary in the background loses all relaxation and theraputic value.

It's going to take me some time before I am able to return to being very productive with subliminals. Or, for that matter, being accurate with Tarot cards. Emotional trauma kills accuracy with most methods of prediction, you see. I feel unbalanced in the sense that a top must feel when it is wobbling about its final spins before it falls over. It is strange that all of a sudden, everyone seems to have a contradictory opinion, and yet none of them can see that their opinions are only opinions, and not hard facts. There's a sense of confusion about how to proceed with the major decisions, since my most reliable compass previously for such things was my Tarot cards, which now reflect the chaotic inner workings of my soul more than they act as a lens to transmit information. How ingenious this game is, where I am deprived of my "cheat sheet" and forced to make some of the biggest, most important decisions of my life at the same time. Saturn and Pluto, these are gods for a reason.

The 3rd Edition of my book Secrets of the Tarot is out now. 2:10 AM, on the 27th of August. I wanted to release it on my birthday, but that was sort of not a real option given the death and everything. There was so little left to do, and yet even that was a real struggle. I think I'd be doing much better on the one hand if I were not living alone now, and yet at the same time I think having someone else here would drive me crazy. Talk about your Catch 22.

And another brilliant example of the game Saturn plays with me. All my life I have had mom there to rely on, fall back on, and be friends with. All my life I feared her death, and wanted to have a long term relationship in place before she went so I would have a support system. But when the time came to make the decision, I chose to have self respect and refused to put up with the treatment I was offered by either of the women who would have filled that part of my life. So now here I am, all alone, and it hurts like hell, but I am no longer afraid of being alone. Or living by myself. Or being single. I am doing this on my own, because I know I can, and because I deserve better than what the past would offer me.

So single I shall be for a while. I am okay with that. Surely not in any position emotionally to be involved seriously at the present time. But not forever, I am sure. My friends are telling me that I should go play and have fun with the girls while I am still single. I guess that'll have to depend on my emotional state. No point in doing things to please the body that will damage the emotions.

I just realized, though, that I have not been using my own subliminal for dealing with grief. I'll have to start using that. Maybe that'll let me be productive faster, and kill some of this pain.

[mike]

I'll head back to Michigan soon enough, I'm sure.

It's been very difficult lately for me. I have been finding that I am lacking motivation, suffering bouts of feeling lost and hopeless which lead to depression, and feeling completely lost. I must now consider the proverbial pile of rubble I find myself sitting in, and try to make sense of this new change. Who am I? What do I like? Having been taking care of mom for so long, I had given up my own freedoms to do so. Now, for the first time probably ever, I am fully free to make my own choices without restriction in some ways. Family politics sure does have an unexpected impact.

My depression isn't terrible, though. It's enough that I don't enjoy it, certainly, but having suffered suicidal depression in the distant past, this is a walk in the park. I am trying to keep my chin up through staying busy cleaning, spending time with those of my friends who have not fallen away, and spending time doing the one thing I have left that brings me true joy, which is creating photographic art. Mainly, I spend my time cleaning. Mom was a bit of a collector, to put the situation in pleasant terms. Cleaning the house consists of 8-12 hour chunks of time spent throwing things away, shredding 20-year-old records and packing the car with boxes of books and bags of clothes to donate to whatever charity I have next on the list. I have two rooms mostly clean, one about 2/3rds finished and one about half way finished. I am not looking forward to the garage... but it will be nice to finally be able to unpack my bedroom and put things where they make sense.

I like my surroundings to be simple, organized, clean and fairly Spartan. I also like it to be quiet. That was exactly 180 degrees from how mom had everything, both for the surroundings and the noise level. Having the opportunity to spend time sitting alone in the quiet of the night is very healing for me. It's even better when it rains: I can actually hear the rain now, instead of having to compete with the television. Rainfall with TV commentary in the background loses all relaxation and theraputic value.

It's going to take me some time before I am able to return to being very productive with subliminals. Or, for that matter, being accurate with Tarot cards. Emotional trauma kills accuracy with most methods of prediction, you see. I feel unbalanced in the sense that a top must feel when it is wobbling about its final spins before it falls over. It is strange that all of a sudden, everyone seems to have a contradictory opinion, and yet none of them can see that their opinions are only opinions, and not hard facts. There's a sense of confusion about how to proceed with the major decisions, since my most reliable compass previously for such things was my Tarot cards, which now reflect the chaotic inner workings of my soul more than they act as a lens to transmit information. How ingenious this game is, where I am deprived of my "cheat sheet" and forced to make some of the biggest, most important decisions of my life at the same time. Saturn and Pluto, these are gods for a reason.

The 3rd Edition of my book Secrets of the Tarot is out now. 2:10 AM, on the 27th of August. I wanted to release it on my birthday, but that was sort of not a real option given the death and everything. There was so little left to do, and yet even that was a real struggle. I think I'd be doing much better on the one hand if I were not living alone now, and yet at the same time I think having someone else here would drive me crazy. Talk about your Catch 22.

And another brilliant example of the game Saturn plays with me. All my life I have had mom there to rely on, fall back on, and be friends with. All my life I feared her death, and wanted to have a long term relationship in place before she went so I would have a support system. But when the time came to make the decision, I chose to have self respect and refused to put up with the treatment I was offered by either of the women who would have filled that part of my life. So now here I am, all alone, and it hurts like hell, but I am no longer afraid of being alone. Or living by myself. Or being single. I am doing this on my own, because I know I can, and because I deserve better than what the past would offer me.

So single I shall be for a while. I am okay with that. Surely not in any position emotionally to be involved seriously at the present time. But not forever, I am sure. My friends are telling me that I should go play and have fun with the girls while I am still single. I guess that'll have to depend on my emotional state. No point in doing things to please the body that will damage the emotions.

I just realized, though, that I have not been using my own subliminal for dealing with grief. I'll have to start using that. Maybe that'll let me be productive faster, and kill some of this pain.

Shannon, I never knew you had visited Michigan in the past. I mentioned Traverse City because it might be the most beautiful city in Michigan and as a tourist/resort town, it'll be chock full of pretty women too. All in all, a pretty nice combination!

Shannon, I don't know a thing about Tarot cards but according to your own post, even they seem to be saying, "Take a break. This is going to take some time!" There just is no easy, nice way of losing someone as important to you as your Mom. Right now, you're wounded, very much wounded. You're probably handling it as well as you possibly can but even so, some wounds just require more in the way of healing. Clearly, you sense that already.

As far as having a relationship goes, you're very right when you said that you are in no place for that right now. You need to take care of yourself. A full, healthy, whole sense of self is what's needed in a relationship and you WILL get there! Just what I know of you from this forum and our emails leads me to believe that IN TIME, you're going to be stronger and healthier than ever. I believe that and if I had to bet on it, I'd bet good money that just about everyone on this forum ALSO believes that. But for now.....one day at a time....sometimes one hour and one minute at a time.

I think using your product to help you to heal in the grief process is a wonderful idea. You have some of the best products available and you deserve the best. I hope you start using them and keep on using them for as long as necessary.

Take GOOD Care of Shannon,
Mike

[Shannon]

Thank you, Mike. I very much appreciate it. Yes, I am taking things one day at a time. Sometimes, temporal focus shifts to hours or minutes, as you say. But the rest of my life depends on how I handle this, and I am dealing with it in the best possible way. I will indeed be stronger than ever when I emerge from my cocoon, so to speak.

I am releasing two new titles today: Overcome Social Anxiety, and Overcoming the Victim Mentality. These have required a lot longer to build than others, but here they are. And be certain, I took extra time to make sure they were done right. I'll be working on other requests as it becomes possible.

[mike]

Shannon, I am very glad to read your post. I believe you're headed in the right direction. I know (from experience) that these things take time, lots of time, but that said, you're moving in a good, healthy direction. That's what I discern from your posts.

Those two titles you've added are definitely going to fill some needs for alot of people. I believe that! I think those two coupled with your Confidence subliminal will be of enormous value.

Shannon, I would love to see a video DVD for Manifest Wealth and Abundance. I play the audio version every single day (usually at least 4 hours) and all through the night....every night. A video could be one heck of a booster to the audio and of course, pretty potent in itself. I realize that you've probably got alot on your table and certainly, you are (and will be) dealing with some big challenges. Just a request that I am SURE many on here would love to see.
I believe I had a pretty strong prosperity consciousness before I started listening to Manifest Wealth and Abundance but I have to tell you, that consciousness has DEFINITELY kicked up a couple notches! Some things that would have really challenged me in a negative way (a big plumbing bill and one very pesky, troublesome plumber) were handled more positively. My attitude was SORELY tested but I recovered fast and moved into a very THANKFUL and GRATEFUL mindset! A year ago, even a few months ago, I would have stewed much, much longer. As it was, I felt proud of myself dealing with things in a positive way. In fact, I resolved things in a very convincing, creative and successful way. Would I have done so say a year ago? Probably but the difference this time was I took action in a way where I didn't blow my top! I handled things in a very cool, detached manner that got right to the issues at hand. I have absolutely no doubt that your subliminal was of real help here! Thanks and please, keep up the great work! --- Mike

[ncbeareatingman]

Thank you, Mike. I very much appreciate it. Yes, I am taking things one day at a time. Sometimes, temporal focus shifts to hours or minutes, as you say. But the rest of my life depends on how I handle this, and I am dealing with it in the best possible way. I will indeed be stronger than ever when I emerge from my cocoon, so to speak.

I am releasing two new titles today: Overcome Social Anxiety, and Overcoming the Victim Mentality. These have required a lot longer to build than others, but here they are. And be certain, I took extra time to make sure they were done right. I'll be working on other requests as it becomes possible.

Keith

,wow what new titles !! Fantastic....I need to get everyone of them....
speak authoritativly must go excellently with..The ALpha Male Set? or is it already "IN there' as it were?
Overcome Social Anxiety - Much requested; and
Overcome the Victim Mentality.
Speak Authoritatively.

NOW On "Overcome The Victim Mentality" does that also include taking full responsiblity for your life,ect? we ALL have been steeped in what I called "Victimitis"( from Robert Schuller's Book "Tough Minded Faith for Tender Hearted People" ) from early on and its rampant in our socieity.
THis is very powerful step Shannon and a Bold MOve indeed,GO Leo Da Lion-Growlzzzzzz!
#2) on OverCome Social Anxiety" whats new about it,must be the best-test;-) and revised version-cuz I thot Overcome Social Anxieity was already amoung the other tiltes in yr cataloge of programs? How does this one differ? and if its as powerful as the New Ultra-Sucess Programs is in its effectiveness,then HOLY COW BATMAN,its gonna knock our sox off.
The 3rd title...sounds equally as compelling,, that combined with Absolute Confidence...once again,HOLY COW ! wow. once I'm done wiht MUWAS,it'll be awhile yet,then I know whats ON my plate next!;-) Keith

[Shannon]

Thank you, Mike. I very much appreciate it. Yes, I am taking things one day at a time. Sometimes, temporal focus shifts to hours or minutes, as you say. But the rest of my life depends on how I handle this, and I am dealing with it in the best possible way. I will indeed be stronger than ever when I emerge from my cocoon, so to speak.

I am releasing two new titles today: Overcome Social Anxiety, and Overcoming the Victim Mentality. These have required a lot longer to build than others, but here they are. And be certain, I took extra time to make sure they were done right. I'll be working on other requests as it becomes possible.

Keith

,wow what new titles !! Fantastic....I need to get everyone of them....
speak authoritativly must go excellently with..The ALpha Male Set? or is it already "IN there' as it were?
Overcome Social Anxiety - Much requested; and
Overcome the Victim Mentality.
Speak Authoritatively.

NOW On "Overcome The Victim Mentality" does that also include taking full responsiblity for your life,ect? we ALL have been steeped in what I called "Victimitis"( from Robert Schuller's Book "Tough Minded Faith for Tender Hearted People" ) from early on and its rampant in our socieity.
THis is very powerful step Shannon and a Bold MOve indeed,GO Leo Da Lion-Growlzzzzzz!
#2) on OverCome Social Anxiety" whats new about it,must be the best-test;-) and revised version-cuz I thot Overcome Social Anxieity was already amoung the other tiltes in yr cataloge of programs? How does this one differ? and if its as powerful as the New Ultra-Sucess Programs is in its effectiveness,then HOLY COW BATMAN,its gonna knock our sox off.
The 3rd title...sounds equally as compelling,, that combined with Absolute Confidence...once again,HOLY COW ! wow. once I'm done wiht MUWAS,it'll be awhile yet,then I know whats ON my plate next!;-) Keith

Yes, it includes taking responsibility for your life, your actions, and your thoughts and beliefs.

Overcome social anxiety is a re-build of a previously available title, which the script was lost for, and then I needed to build it in an updated version.

[Shannon]

I am starting to feel a lot better emotionally now. I have been able to be reasonably productive the last day or so, and I am trying to start working on this massive backlog. There's a lot to take care of not just with the business, but with the estate I have to deal with, cleaning the house, etc. It's going to be hectic for a while.

I am going to be building new titles for a little while, have a lot of requests to work on, etc. We have concluded that it doesn't make sense to hide any of the script so you guys can see all of the scripts, now, except for a couple of things, such as the six stage set scripts, stop smoking and stop drinking, which are special cases.

Off to build some more. We'll be working on getting the scripts up through September.

We are also going to be training a new recruit, Jackie, whom I met last night through Andrew. If things go as planned, she will be helping with answering your e-mails, as well as forum moderation and with whatever else is necessary (such as putting up the scripts). She should be able to give you guys (and us, too) a woman's perspective on a lot of things, as well. I think she shows promise, and both Andrew and I are looking forward to having her onboard.

Ever onward!

[Bengal]

Hi Shannon -

I am very sorry to hear about your mother. On the thread that I read I wasn't able to see what she had, and maybe you don't want to say, which I understand.

My mother is very sick and has pretty severe neurological problems. Been diagnosed back in October 2009 by some mainstream doctors as ALS (Lou Gehrig's) and other "fringe" doctors as Chronic Lyme. Either way she can't really speak at this point, all her food has to be blended as her tongue barely works. Also her walking, neck, etc is getting worse and worse. It's seemingly slow, but actually pretty rapid degradation and hard to watch. Just last December she was Most mainstream doctors say she won't make it in the next year. I've turned her onto Brain Entrainment via Holosync, and even made her a med track with some software I bought for making BE tracks. She's doing affirmations, Abraham Hicks stuff with Law of Attraction etc. I fear that none of it is working well for her.

I know it must be difficult but of all people, you are in a great place to deal with it with the wonderful work you've created here, and the support of others here on the forum, and hopefully in your life too.

Here's a great little video segment with Eckart Tolle about death & dying. It helped me the other day when I found it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KQdOh5gC2I

-David

[Shannon]

Thanks, David. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Sometimes, things are supposed to happen in certain ways, and when they are, there's not much that can be done to change that, unfortunately. Hopefully, neither of you will have to suffer very long.
----------------
I am finding myself overwhelmed, so I'm going to be doing this trip I have to do and then dealing with getting my affairs in order before I get back to working on subs again. In the mean time, I know Andrew will be working hard - I'll be returning from my trip on the day he should be finished with his planned work, and it'll probably take me a week or two after that to finish cleaning and taking care of other business.

Thanks to everyone for your concern and support, both emotionally and as customers. I very much appreciate it.

Back when I can be.

[Spiderweb]

Shannon,
I myself am sorry to read about your mom as well...hang in there my friend.