SD 5.11

[Magnus]

Decided to give self development a run as a lot of that sounds just like what I need.

I know when I was younger I never suffered any overt abuse but did to a degree have some emotional neglect and never really felt cared for. The challenge is I don't really see any trauma when I was younger just things that were missing and this has left me to feel like I am missing something within myself. 

This bought me to Self Development as I've come to realize I've spent my entire life defining myself by others opinions of me and seeking out love, attention and affection from others. It's something I just never learnt to give myself so have always searched for it outside of myself. In relationships have generally always been very anxious and never felt completely secure unless it is running 100% perfectly, I never developed that solid base within myself. This is what I'm hoping self development will lead me to.

So far 2 days in. Every time I listen to a loop my worries melt away (this is similar to EPRHA and I believe is the grounding shield) the difference with SD is I notice I feel very happy and positive about the future instead of more the neutral feeling of EPRHA. I noticed this feeling lasted throughout the day yesterday then disappeared in the evening and I had a lot of dreams and a restless sleep last night, no memories of the dreams just a lot of them.

Plan to do a 3 month cycle then go back to EPRHA if needed.

[Magnus]

First 5 days on done. Having times where I'm feeling more positive about life and like everything is going to be ok. Dreams started to calm down a bit after the first few days.

Something else that's very interesting is I've had 3 or 4 people reach out from my past we are talking people I haven't heard from in years. Now one I would call a coincidence but 3 or 4 just seems like far to big of a chance to be a coincidence. For reference over the last year I've probably had 1 maybe 2 people reach out from my past and this is 3 or 4 in the last week. I know I've been very socially isolated over the last year with my health issues but it feels like something is trying to change that

[StridingStrider]

Interesting. Please keep updating.

[Shannon]

Dreams of what?

[Magnus]

Most of the dreams have been about people not liking me. Can't usually remember specifics apart from the fact that there was a lot of them that happened and all around that general theme.

[Magnus]

Finally managed to remember a dream. Was interesting definitely something working in the background.

Dream was about women and in this dream had multiple women chasing after me and people commenting how good looking the women were. I felt a huge sense of validation from this so seems like something is being worked on around validation and always seeking it from women rather than giving it to myself.

[Shannon]

Progress.

[Magnus]

Seems to have been some progress.

Still feeling pretty good within myself and generally quite positive about the future. Socially things seem to be picking up as well which is good as since covid I have noticed myself more and more socially isolated. 

I've also found the girl I've been seeing has done a complete 180. Gone from pulling away and saying she's to busy to see me or do things to now saying she would love to go away with me when I head away for the weekend. It's a massive shift from where she was even two weeks ago but she had been drifting further away for a few months and now it's a complete reversal which is very interesting.

Otherwise going through an extremely busy time at work with very long days which has led me to eating much less than ideal and not exercise. I'm hoping this will all slow down in 2 weeks.

[StridingStrider]

Have you noticed an increase in self confidence?

[Magnus]

Nothing specific on self confidence yet.

This past cycle off has been rough. While I feel positive when listening and like the future is looking bright this past cycle off has bought about some very uncomfortable truths.

I've had to accept that the love, validation and acceptance I am looking for I'm not going to get from this girl or any other girl or anyone else but myself. To really lean into that has been tough I feel a deep sense of seperation and separateness in the world and a sense of loneliness as I do not yet know how to truly give that to myself.

On the other side of things have started to focus on taking care of myself again. A small thing but bought a good razor to take care of my unkept beard and a focus back on exercising and eating well again.

I will see how the rest of this run goes but may need to listen to EPRHA again

Also excited to see the development of 6G coming along can't wait to try the first program in 6G. Hopefully will also bring a bit more life back to the forums like they used to be.

[Frosted]

Nothing specific on self confidence yet.
Also excited to see the development of 6G coming along can't wait to try the first program in 6G. Hopefully will also bring a bit more life back to the forums like they used to be.

Aw man, I can’t wait. It’s going to be glorious. We’re on the precipice of a golden age, I can feel it.

[Shannon]

Nothing specific on self confidence yet.
Also excited to see the development of 6G coming along can't wait to try the first program in 6G. Hopefully will also bring a bit more life back to the forums like they used to be.

Aw man, I can’t wait. It’s going to be glorious. We’re on the precipice of a golden age, I can feel it.

No pressure, right?  lol

[Frosted]

Aw man, I can’t wait. It’s going to be glorious. We’re on the precipice of a golden age, I can feel it.

No pressure, right?  lol

Haha sorry. I’m just super excited for 6G and the revitalization of the forums. The results I’m getting are so incredible and I believe whole heartedly in the power of your products. Thank you for being the kind of person who has made all of this happen. Not just your competence, but also your values and unconventional vision. I know I say thank you a lot but I mean it. You’ve quite literally changed my life.

[Shannon]

No pressure, right?  lol

Haha sorry. I’m just super excited for 6G and the revitalization of the forums. The results I’m getting are so incredible and I believe whole heartedly in the power of your products. Thank you for being the kind of person who has made all of this happen. Not just your competence, but also your values and unconventional vision. I know I say thank you a lot but I mean it. You’ve quite literally changed my life.

Those are some serious compliments.  Thank you.  They are appreciated.  And I appreciate not only you being my customer, but using the experiences the right way so you can get those results.

I'm going to calculate the usage patterns for the 6G-Alpha test title right now, and testing will begin today or tomorrow.  Exciting times indeed.  I'm struggling to not build several titles in 6G-Alpha before we get to 6G-Final.  lol