Reality can get bent - DMSI 3.3.1-D Adventures and Musings (USLMaxx Interlude Mode)

[Have at ye]

Huh. Now *this* is interesting. A blast from the past type of deal.

I've mentioned a particular lady in my previous DMSI journal, when I got totally sunshined and rainbowed by a designee "sweet little aristocrat" whom she reminded me of. So just about now this particular lady had accosted me through Messenger, we chatted about psychoanalysis and stuff (apparently, she's become a professional psychotherapist in the interim), and she ended up inviting me to join her for regular meetings and lectures on, like, Lacan? and stuff, because she's been attending them and has no one to talk about it afterwards, the way she said it. So I guess we'll be seeing each other after Easter holidays, because I agreed. Huh. I guess I could always read some Lacan, why the hell not.

She now has the official designation of "blast from the past". I might change it later as it's not erotic enough to my tastes.

[Have at ye]

Today, I ran into about 6 of my various responders, plus met another very lovely lady because apparently why not. Bardic practice went extremely well to boot, but now I'm extremely tired physically as I had to get up very early in the AM. Good times, good times. Also I received a rather hefty tax rebate for last year's taxes, and that's always a happy feeling.

Ah, also, today at that body movement class I've been attending lately, I really loosened up my hips and pelvis, and now I'm strutting my stuff like I'm Beyonce (or Elvis, lol). Feels good, and is also extremely good for my bardic practice. Apart from that, the girl who's running the class (I remember mentioning her back in my DMSI ver. 2.4 journal days, IIRC, as I met her through work) is doing wonders for my general testosterone levels when she's showing how to do 'em various exercises.

[Shadow2200]

It is funny how on DMSI old flings tend to show up.

[RTBoss]

It is funny how on DMSI old flings tend to show up.

Can't say I ever experienced that in 3 years of running the program.

[Have at ye]

I think I'll run this version of DMSI until the end of the month and then it's break-time.

[Have at ye]

I'm calling it a break for this ver. of DMSI *right now*.

Today (as I met for some lacanian psychonalaytic action with that girl I mentioned above, I'll call her "foxy psychoanalyst" because I the prior designation doesn't work for me, lol, and this one's very apt), it turned out another one of my more responsive responders has been experiencing chronic health issues pretty much *since I started running this version*. That's a fourth, it's a thing. Nothing too serious fortunately (in her case - f. in., designee "sweet little aristocrat" has had it quite a bit worse AFAIK, but she does have *considerable* ego, lol), but nonetheless. [EDIT: oh yeah, she wants to meet again. It was good to see her, really, heh]

Besides, should be interesting to see how things unravel in "bloom" mode, as well as Shannon's been working like a beast lately, so I guess the next version's TID should be starting to kick in soon enough.

Apart from that, it was a fun evening, I went to a little party thereafter (I didn't invite designee "foxy psychoanalyst" as I had a suspicion that my ex would be there, and she was, and I really don't want the drama) where I met another one of my responders which is always niice. Anyroad, I've also got some Lacanian musings to share, but I'll do it in a day or two as I need to collect my thoughts. You know that thing how in response to subliminal programming which is instructing the user to make major changes, the subC tends to react in ways that equalize it with death? Yeah, Lacan had a couple of things to say about this, a little interaction between what he called "narcissistic death of the subject" in response to achieving the subject's "object of desire". More to come, could be useful.

[Roy]

I'm calling it a break for this ver. of DMSI *right now*.

Today (as I met for some lacanian psychonalaytic action with that girl I mentioned above, I'll call her "foxy psychoanalyst" because I the prior designation doesn't work for me, lol, and this one's very apt), it turned out another one of my more responsive responders has been experiencing chronic health issues pretty much *since I started running this version*. That's a fourth, it's a thing. Nothing too serious fortunately (in her case - f. in., designee "sweet little aristocrat" has had it quite a bit worse AFAIK, but she does have *considerable* ego, lol), but nonetheless. [EDIT: oh yeah, she wants to meet again. It was good to see her, really, heh]

Why do you think it DMSI related? Could it have been there before this version?

[Have at ye]

I'm calling it a break for this ver. of DMSI *right now*.

Today (as I met for some lacanian psychonalaytic action with that girl I mentioned above, I'll call her "foxy psychoanalyst" because I the prior designation doesn't work for me, lol, and this one's very apt), it turned out another one of my more responsive responders has been experiencing chronic health issues pretty much *since I started running this version*. That's a fourth, it's a thing. Nothing too serious fortunately (in her case - f. in., designee "sweet little aristocrat" has had it quite a bit worse AFAIK, but she does have *considerable* ego, lol), but nonetheless. [EDIT: oh yeah, she wants to meet again. It was good to see her, really, heh]

Why do you think it DMSI related? Could it have been there before this version?

The gals suddenly appear to have a tendency to start falling ill, or experiencing physical problems in general, whenever they actually decide to meet with me (and by "decide to meet with me" I pretty much mean "to ask me out"). Mayhap it was happening in the earlier versions too, I don't know, but I've noticed a pattern on this one, as this has been a reoccurring thing since December (so when I started listening to ver. 3.3.1). Suddenly experiencing non-life-threatening, but ultimately annoying and drawn-out health issues that are mumping up any plans related to execution has been pointed out by Shannon as a potential fear-related or ego-related resistance response to subliminal programming - I would verge on the side of caution here and assume that it may also be a resistance response to my DMSIng on the affected side, for the very same reasons.

[Have at ye]

Okay. So I've opted not to share my findings publicly right now, because there's the off-chance I've stubmled onto something new. I need to check this, and even then I might not be journaling about it, TBH, for *reasons*.

Just let me say this: Lacan, you magnificent bastard. :O

[Have at ye]

*Redacted*

[Have at ye]

Funny. I had this short moment yesterday when I felt what I believe would have been the emotions I would experience when getting all of the effects of DMSIng with no resistance, full execution and then some, I think. It was like a great sense of relief ("all this shit I had to go through has been worth it"), calm happiness (not ecstatic, just "yeah B)"), and a sense of accomplishment ("we've got this").

Monsieur ordered a side of reality-bending?

[Have at ye]

Got into a little kerfluffle with my vocal coach, as she for a time seemed to believe that I'm a different voice-type than I actually am (due to various reasons, but predominantly my competition trying to manipulate her into believing so - apparently, my high notes have become good enough that I'm not worthy of having them, lol), but we're past it now, fortunately, and bardic practice is going extremely well.

I'm working on the gut situation, and making pretty decent progress, too. Apparently, I had trouble getting rid of it due to having diastasis recti - which, incidentally, there's a very good chance I have developed due to improper vocal technique, as taught by my previous maestro, lol. I'm kinda half-tempted to sue him for inadvertently causing physical harm to my person if he gets too uppity (and he's been behaving rather uppity lately, talking smack behind my back, etc.). The silver lining is that I now know the cause, and know how to fix it through physical exercise.

In other news, I'm going for some more Lacan with designee "foxy psychoanalyst" tomorrow evening. Also, as I was going about my bardic practice today, I ran into - you won't guess - designee "sweet little aristocrat" who proceeded to bombard me with sunshine and rainbows. We talked for a bit, she invited me to a gig of hers at the end of the month. I'm totally there, lol.

[Have at ye]

Hmm, "foxy psychoanalyst" seemed kinda... on edge today. I never was able to get a proper read on this one, though, lol. Then again, AFAIR she'd sometimes get like this on occasion, usually when emotional about something. As curious a little creature as ever, heh. Looked stunning tonight. Anyroad, seeing her again for more hot Lacan action on the 29th.

[Have at ye]

Oomph. Getting hit by some serious - I don't even know what to call it - sentimentality? Re-working of the past? I really don't know. It's all related to the stuff I've been reporting on recently, and it's all surrounded by things that are, in my mind, related (time of year, events going on, etc.). It's like it's all unraveling before my eyes, so to speak. Also, fuck you, Lacan, like, for reals - if anyone gets the chance, read that guy. Don't read "about" him, don't read stuff that was written based on his works, or as an analysis - read him *directly* (preferably in French, if you can).

Trouble is, I have no one to vent to about this - as I don't believe I can trust anyone with matters of this sort (either that, or the few people I do believe I *could* trust are actually other women who are into me, which would just be mean). I called up an old friend, told her I need to vent, she acquiesced - she's bonkers, but I think I can trust her not to *tell* anyone who could use this or spread rumors; just gotta remember to take any "advice" she might have with a metric ton of salt.