Im going to be 100% honest here.. I feel miserable. Im not in controll. Im picking up on the same intolerable resistance from last time i ran it. Its like i've reached my growth limit with this version and going further is like escalating more and more uphill. I know what DMSI does att full power but damn that only happened few times and the last time was months ago. Im definitly a stonewaller if not then im one shade away from being one. Willpower is the only thing keeping me going.
The goal was getting laid and ending my celibate existans. I got an amazing girlfriend but she does not want have sex ( go third base ) and i was dissatasfyed. Then i break up with her and now im having sex with a stunning girl but I miss the connection i had to my ex.
Man she was both warm yet cold. The only thing that held the relationship toghether was DMSI and the evidence was that whenever i stop DMSI to clear my head for MLS she starts acting cold and disintrested.
When i was with her i only saw her faults which led me to be with the new girl im seeing, now im seeing the new girls faults in order to justify wanting to go back to my ex.
Im not happy! At least back then i had hope, now that i've gotten what some may call success i feel more miserable. Sometimes apathy takes over and I think the healing/clearing will fix everything. I really dont care about DMSI's design goal anymore! I just want to be cleared/healed! I dont care about being a player/pimp and having massive success. I just want to be happy with who i am. I dont want to need anyone or anything for it.
The irony of ironies is that i dont know if im happier since i have started. The progress its self was worth it but i feel like all i did was chase phantoms. The more progress i make the more uphill the road becomes. I will keep doing DMSI for the H/C because for me this is whats truly worth it.
E3, AM7, BASE and BAMM thats the road to my salvation! To contribute! Create a legacy! Give back! Without those im not truly living.. only breathing
The goal was getting laid and ending my celibate existans. I got an amazing girlfriend but she does not want have sex ( go third base ) and i was dissatasfyed. Then i break up with her and now im having sex with a stunning girl but I miss the connection i had to my ex.
Man she was both warm yet cold. The only thing that held the relationship toghether was DMSI and the evidence was that whenever i stop DMSI to clear my head for MLS she starts acting cold and disintrested.
When i was with her i only saw her faults which led me to be with the new girl im seeing, now im seeing the new girls faults in order to justify wanting to go back to my ex.
Im not happy! At least back then i had hope, now that i've gotten what some may call success i feel more miserable. Sometimes apathy takes over and I think the healing/clearing will fix everything. I really dont care about DMSI's design goal anymore! I just want to be cleared/healed! I dont care about being a player/pimp and having massive success. I just want to be happy with who i am. I dont want to need anyone or anything for it.
The irony of ironies is that i dont know if im happier since i have started. The progress its self was worth it but i feel like all i did was chase phantoms. The more progress i make the more uphill the road becomes. I will keep doing DMSI for the H/C because for me this is whats truly worth it.
E3, AM7, BASE and BAMM thats the road to my salvation! To contribute! Create a legacy! Give back! Without those im not truly living.. only breathing
INTJ
