Had this morning guilt coming up, as quick as it came, it went. Im thinking of why I wont bite the bullet on some cases with females ( this might be a snspshot moment, me still processing last night loops, and wouldnt be the first time snspping out of it and be a ball of sunshine ) but there seems to be something subliminal going on, beliefs and thought processes just subtle enough to passing right under the radar. Age, whatever, adressing this bust those beliefs out of the water. Guilt is a thing with this, sabotage, fears, wrong beliefs. Adressing the hold back. Censoring. Might be OF pressing on the issues right now, making them more pronounced temporarily, but adressing it will improve my life.
Regarding books. I used to be a hoarder. Im way more discerning, guided by my internals and execute on them relentlessly. Weapons for war. I just "need" a couple and thats it. Reading 52 books a year? Only to up reading skills and speed, other then that? Its utter bs. "Oh but some millionaire says it" doesnt fucking matter. Even me, just reading sun tzu- the art of war and having it finished just now, has to read it again to get the gist of it.
Edit: seeing the semi conflict on the forums has me reflecting on my own. Im like "it aint my fight, yall are old enough" but it comes down to fear & guilt and future imagined things. It aint a way to live, and tbh, I DO want to jump in, because of the overreaction.not to be condensing or anything, but from a detached standpoint and what being pointed out, its a helpfull response imo to be held accoubtable. Again, I can see why someone would respond like it, been there, the "dont tell me shit, you dont know"
But having other people holding you accountable is pretty neat. + I enjoy journal activity. Make it seem not so ghosttown-ish
Regarding books. I used to be a hoarder. Im way more discerning, guided by my internals and execute on them relentlessly. Weapons for war. I just "need" a couple and thats it. Reading 52 books a year? Only to up reading skills and speed, other then that? Its utter bs. "Oh but some millionaire says it" doesnt fucking matter. Even me, just reading sun tzu- the art of war and having it finished just now, has to read it again to get the gist of it.
Edit: seeing the semi conflict on the forums has me reflecting on my own. Im like "it aint my fight, yall are old enough" but it comes down to fear & guilt and future imagined things. It aint a way to live, and tbh, I DO want to jump in, because of the overreaction.not to be condensing or anything, but from a detached standpoint and what being pointed out, its a helpfull response imo to be held accoubtable. Again, I can see why someone would respond like it, been there, the "dont tell me shit, you dont know"
But having other people holding you accountable is pretty neat. + I enjoy journal activity. Make it seem not so ghosttown-ish
