07-06-2021, 01:24 AM
Day 5 1 masked
Shannon scolded me for not following my instinct so after I woke up I played one loop. For subs with more loops I like to listen to them ultrasonic in the afternoon, but here it's easy enough to play it while getting ready for a day. The loops feel more and more comfy to listen to. Still I appreciate the pause yesterday, I'll be studying myself and whether or not I'm getting overwhelmed.
I woke up later than I was supposed to. I guess I've gotten more sleep, which I need right now, but the earlier I wake up the more productive I am as the day seems longer. I'm at my most productive when I wake up early, start the work outright and know that there will be nice and easy afternoon to relax.
Work today went sideways just as expected. I decided to go with the hardest of 3 projects and obviously there are some hurdles. I'll be meeting with my boss tomorrow to discuss the details and I'll get to work on it full stop on Thursday. As the hour is still early for me I'll get going with the other 2 projects but first I'll go for a walk to collect my thoughts.
I didn't have any dreams necessarily but I had like short flashes. Two I remember are me thinking that I've just masturbated and seeing that girl I was talking about finally messaging me. Weird, as if I had just short but very vivid thoughts of things I'm concerned about right now. As for masturbation I've discontinued the counter I has posting as it became a useless meme, but I will be posting about my successes and failures on the topic. So far I feel like the urges are stronger but the baseline is lower, so in the long run it might be easier than before.
One thing I've never mentioned but is interesting that both right now and during LTU run I'm constantly in this weird time shift where I feel like today is different day. For example yesterday I felt like it was Sunday (which meant I was more lenient) and today is Wednesday (which means I feel I have less time for work than I really have). I think it comes from a strange anxiety where I fear running out of time, so I'm already thinking in the terms of the next day.
Shannon scolded me for not following my instinct so after I woke up I played one loop. For subs with more loops I like to listen to them ultrasonic in the afternoon, but here it's easy enough to play it while getting ready for a day. The loops feel more and more comfy to listen to. Still I appreciate the pause yesterday, I'll be studying myself and whether or not I'm getting overwhelmed.
I woke up later than I was supposed to. I guess I've gotten more sleep, which I need right now, but the earlier I wake up the more productive I am as the day seems longer. I'm at my most productive when I wake up early, start the work outright and know that there will be nice and easy afternoon to relax.
Work today went sideways just as expected. I decided to go with the hardest of 3 projects and obviously there are some hurdles. I'll be meeting with my boss tomorrow to discuss the details and I'll get to work on it full stop on Thursday. As the hour is still early for me I'll get going with the other 2 projects but first I'll go for a walk to collect my thoughts.
I didn't have any dreams necessarily but I had like short flashes. Two I remember are me thinking that I've just masturbated and seeing that girl I was talking about finally messaging me. Weird, as if I had just short but very vivid thoughts of things I'm concerned about right now. As for masturbation I've discontinued the counter I has posting as it became a useless meme, but I will be posting about my successes and failures on the topic. So far I feel like the urges are stronger but the baseline is lower, so in the long run it might be easier than before.
One thing I've never mentioned but is interesting that both right now and during LTU run I'm constantly in this weird time shift where I feel like today is different day. For example yesterday I felt like it was Sunday (which meant I was more lenient) and today is Wednesday (which means I feel I have less time for work than I really have). I think it comes from a strange anxiety where I fear running out of time, so I'm already thinking in the terms of the next day.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
