My OF journal

[LionMonkey]

I'm confused how much of those improvements are from running OF, since you mentioned the changes happened in years and only in the last year you've been running OF. And how exactly did those changes occur, what behaviors or shift in thinking triggered the changes?

Ah, sorry for not being clear upon that. My healing journey went very, very slow in the beginning. Almost stale. I used LTU6 and it helped some, but I started to really note a difference about 6 months into OF, and after 9 months in it was clear that OF had played a big part in my recovery.

It's hard to pinpoint on a specific change in though patterns, rather has the change been physical, and the change in attitude, emotion and thought has come from that. I've had several episodes where I felt really knocked out, staying in bed with my whole body hurting and feeling like a junkie on cold-turkey, and the change to the better has been even more apparent after those episodes. 

I've been able to trace much of my anxiety from a physical anxiety, i.e. an inability to be physically relaxed, and OF seems to have been working on this aspect and helping me dissolve tensions. Going for walks have been superb way to deal with tensions, and to let the body find its own pace in finding ways to work trough tense tissues.

Oh yeah, one big point I forgot to mention is:

• Not having the need to blow up my own self-worth and importance by engaging in grandiose thinking - i.e. thinking I'm better than someone in some way, to make myself feel better about myself. I'm much more content with who I am and the need to compare myself to others have shrunk considerably. 
  

Well done on your recovery and getting yourself in a positive direction.

The self worth thing is a common challenge in many. I had it strongly myself and sometimes I can feel it wanting to creep back when there's someone who's doing very well in an area I want to do well in and he looks similar to me.

I found that refocusing on being better than who I was yesterday helps a lot. Not better than others but better than myself yesterday or last week or last month.

-LM