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The Hepatitis Bathtub and Other Stories - MLS 3 5.5 G
09-20-2017, 12:49 PM (This post was last modified: 09-20-2017 01:35 PM by Raz.)
Post: #101
Day 62
Positive experiences ahead.

Today I did the most mind-numbingly stupid task at work for 8 hours straight in probably all my life. Good breathing is harder than this. Anyway, as all it involved was focused attention to one little detail, there were a lot of things that bubbled up into my conscious mind, mostly patterns that emerged throughout the past few weeks.

Pattern 1: Almost every day life presents me with a new situation that pushes me just a little bit out of my comfort zone. In fact, it is so regularly that it is more than obvious.

Pattern 2: Lately I consciously re-frame everything I do into some kind of training. Therefore I add to every task a new, positive, and personal flavour that often outshines the original task and allows me to persevere with everything I do. That is great in itself. Additionally, I train myself with this to focus for some pretty long periods of time. Literally hours upon hours.

Pattern 3: The burning anger and lashing out towards others I experience semi-periodically is often connected to persons that want me to do a task with them or for them but hand it to me only with incomplete and cryptic instructions. As a result things don't get done nearly as effective as they could be if I do them for the first time. And as damn often as this happened in the past two months it is clearly related to some issues that are rooted in my distant past. Seems as if I am slowly dealing with some childhood stuff, because incomplete and/or cryptic is exactly like my dad used to give instructions. Only that failure to magically mind-read the missing parts led to verbal abuse or beatings back then. Hot candidate.

All three patterns are blatantly obvious to me now, but I didn't notice them unfolding before my eyes until today. Together they are the first personal things that I can clearly attribute to MLS, aside from my consistent clear-headedness.


What is a scientist after all? It is a curious man looking through a keyhole, the keyhole of nature, trying to know what’s going on. - Jacques-Yves Cousteau
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