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The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
01-19-2018, 07:13 PM (This post was last modified: 01-19-2018 07:14 PM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #1
The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
Starting a new thread, because there were too many spams and irrelevant comments. Please, only comment on my thread if it's a reply or has relation to any of my posts. Any other irrelevant questions or statements, use the PM system instead. Thanks.
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01-19-2018, 07:14 PM
Post: #2
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
From 13/1/18

Since a lotta people are now experiencing the effects of 3.2, I think it's the appropriate time to cease the usage of 3.1B, and start a new thread.

For me, it's hard to determine whether 3.2 has been affecting me. If so, it's getting mixed up with 3.1.

Not too long ago, maybe a week, I had too much abundance, when I was chatting with multiple girls at the same time. It was just too much to keep track of. This was happening when my libido was high. I saw a video of a guy addressing this phenomena too. He was on no fap for a week, then all the sudden, too many girls were messaging him.

I'm flatlining right now. I'm on day 56, but it seems more like day 2 or 3. It's not at a complete zero. I can still feel my libido here and there, but much weaker than it was a few days ago. Apparently a lotta people go through this. I think it's that I haven't been eating as well and haven't been to the gym in a week.

I'm back to part-time status at my job. There's not enough work at the moment in my department. My colleagues are hating it. Personally I love it, cause I have more time for my languages, and I can be out more too. My parents are annoying me to find a new job though, which I think is a very bad idea. Mum recommended me to her friend who works in a government department, and urged me to apply for it. It's a temp position. Why the hell would I lose my ongoing position for something temporary that only lasts 2-3 weeks? I don't mind being ongoing casual right now, as I need the extra free time to pursue things I enjoy. I am getting more than enough weekly income. Life isn't all about work (slaving away).

I mentioned on my 3.1 journal that I met a couple of Swedish girls in the shops. This was 4 days ago. They were going away to neighbouring towns, but would be back in my city yesterday. Then on Monday, they'll be leaving to return to Sweden. The blonde C had replied to my initial message last night. This morning, I asked if she'll be out today. She's seen the message, but hasn't replied to it. It might or might not happen. At this point, I'm not even bothered. There will be plenty more.

It's raining like hell in my city today. I could go out and look for other girls to approach in the mean time, but I've decided instead I'm gonna go gym to strengthen my body. Maybe my libido will come back too lol.

I've stopped using duolingo and memrise. They aren't very effective in my experience. I've been using LingQ mostly, which in my opinion is the most powerful app for language learning. I'm also doing Clozemaster on the side as a supplement. I'm gonna get back to Pimsleur too. These three apps / programs help me make the most gains in the shortest time. I'm all about effeciency and what actually works - not learning useless vocab or wasting time on flashcards.

I'll definitely be going out a lot more this week. Since I'm off 3.1B now, I'll see how 3.2 affects me.
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01-19-2018, 07:15 PM (This post was last modified: 01-19-2018 07:16 PM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #3
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
From 15/1/18

Day 58 of no fap. The flatlining is over. When I gymed hard on day 56, and I also ate some black-eyed beans when I got home, it seemed to have triggered more testosterone. I read that beans have a high source of zinc, which boosts your testosterone. Yesterday my libido was coming back a bit, but today it's full-fledged again. At the same time, it's too intense and hard to resist, but I'm glad it's back and it feels amazing.

I'm also back on intermittent fasting. Does intermittent fasting trigger an increase of libido too? I'm not sure, since I'm doing a combination of so many things. I'm also doing cold showers daily.

I didn't end up seeing the two Swedish girls and they've flown back home to Sweden, which is okay, cause at the same time I was very detached to the outcome anyway. It was a good experience approaching them and chatting with them for half an hour. I knew they were keen in the moment to see me again. it's just one of those things that after some time, they went away for a bit, and four days later, especially how they are in holiday mode, the memories of the initial interaction and emotions behind it had faded. I know how they felt, cause I felt the dissipating emotions too. In my mind, I was like, who are these girls really? It was a really fun and friendly chat, but there wasn't anything deeper. Things could easily have been different had it been one-on-one with either of them, or had we spent more time, etc. There are a million different reasons. I see everything so differently now. There is no rejection - just unfinished business. Smile

I just have a half day tomorrow. I'll likely be going out after work.
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01-19-2018, 07:17 PM
Post: #4
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
From 16/1/18

Day 59 of no fap. Tomorrow I'll be hitting 60 days, also matching my personal best.

I'll try keep today's journal brief.

I only worked a morning shift, so I was able to go out earlier. Got out at 2 and left at 8:30pm.

Something is happening to me, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm getting way more looks than usual. Girls can definitely feel my presence. I've even had double takes at me. It kept happening throughout the entire day I was out. I've really lost count. Over 20 times maybe. Unfortunately, 2/3 of the girls who looked my way weren't my ideal, so I didn't approach. The other 1/3 who I found attractive, they were either with their bf or with their group of friends. Oh yeah, and another hot blonde who looked twice, she was with her mum. All these difficult situations lol. I actually haven't worn pheromones for a while. Well, a part of me keeps forgetting, but also another part of me wants to see how I react to DMSI without pheros.

Basically, the Lycanthrope in me is waking up. I don't know if it's the blooming effect of 3.1, the TID from 3.2, being on day 59 of no fap, or perhaps a combo of things. When I see myself in the mirror, I feel myself growing more and more attractive every day. My energy is becoming more masculine. I legit see myself as a sexual threat. And I know when girls see me, they feel that too. Perhaps I'm not completely there yet where I need to be, however 3.2 will push me closer and closer towards getting there, although right now something's already starting to happen.

Oh yeah, I didn't approach at all today. There were two girls, but I kinda lost my chance when I hesistated for too long. Tomorrow again maybe.

Lol I need to get back to how deadly I used to be. Back in those days, I used to have instant dates almost every day. I still haven't had a date since July, but I only started getting back into approaching in Dec, but I still wasn't fully active, cause I was only doing once a week still. I'm gonna change that this week.

Another thing, I totally forgot about it. This morning when I was still at work, the Canadian J wrote to me asking when I'm gonna go visit her lol. I'm not even sure when I'll ever go back to British Colombia. I've already been to Vancouver years ago. J was from Vancouver too, but she moved some remote town in the mountain ranges or forest. She's also in a relationship with the guy who got her pregnant. I think she's a month in now lol. I don't think she's the best person to mess around with at this point. Plus, I'm more motivated to go Germany, Sweden, etc.

But yes, still getting interest from online, so good thing my sexual energy is flowing again lol.

I've noticed that when my libido is stronger, I also get more attention both in real life and online.
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01-19-2018, 07:19 PM
Post: #5
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
From 17/1/18

Day 60 of no fap. My energy is raising. It seems I'm growing apart from certain girls.

I wrote a lot about the Dutch C glamour model. We used to be so sexually open. Lately she's shutting down. She told me how a few months ago, she was sexually harrassed by a photographer. And she avoids intimidate contact with anyone now. She told me resorts to her vibrators every night, so she appears to be too content. It is a huge problem for girls too. Too much reliance on highs. It leads to a lot of lows. It also kills her interest for other people. When I was masturbating daily, I was too content too. Didn't bother bettering myself. So back to before. We used to talk about sexual topics, such as masturbation and sex and threesomes. She knows I'm doing no fap. Today I mentioned to her that I just reached my personal best. She bluntly replied 'Idc'. Wtf is that and where did that even come from? If somebody respects you, they would never respond like that. On top of that, I got shamed for expressing my sexuality, when back then it was okay for us flirt. But yeah, gonna distance myself from her.

Same with the German/Swedish M. She is sexually repressed cause she was raped. She used to make sexual flirty comments my way. We talked about sexual topics. However now when I would express my sexual side, I get shamed for it. Same story. She's said much worse, and it was okay for her then. But that's female logic for you. A lotta the times she just ignores my messages completely. I don't believe need to be constantly talking all the time. But there's nothing wrong with writing to people every once in a few days, not in a way that I'm seeking a response, but in a genuine manner. She used to spam me with long messages and even voice messages that would go on for mins. She expressed her feelings for me a lot. So the point could be made that she was needy too. I didn't mind cause I liked her back. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this. But yeah, her avoidance behaviour is shady. There was a time when she was explaining a German sentence to me. As a native, she doesn't understand grammar. She just knows if a sentence is right or wrong intuitively. I got the feeling she felt incompetent as she didn't have the answer, so she just ghosted and pretended nothing happened. I later found out the answer from another source and I told her I figured it out. She ignored my message completely. Lol wtf. It's okay if you don't know the answer. Nothing shameful in it. Better than pretending that you know it. I earlier asked a few other Germans and they openly told me they couldnt explain it either, cause as Germans, they intuitively knew the answer, but couldn't explain why. Fair enough, I respect that. No ego and they can admit they don't know. But yeah, other times I'd write to her and get no response at all. She's changed from the girl who used to very affectionately chase me, so I'm not even thinking about visiting her anymore, because what's the point?

I've come to realise how important authenticity is. Take the other M, who lives in a neighbouring city. We are more sexually open with each other. No holds barred. She likes how I'm very open and sexual. I dont have to filter myself or hold things back. With the German/Swedish M, there's still a part of me that's holding back. I can't express myself fully with her cause she's not there herself. I got shut down early, so I know where her limits are. She's not a sexually open person herself, like she thinks casual sex is wrong. We can't flirt sexually. We used to talk about cuddling and that's as far as she went, but now she says she can't even cuddle.

Anyway I've done so much ranting. Basically I'm going through that purging stage again. I don't know if it's no fap or 3.2 or both, but my consciousness is moving up and up. I no longer have room for low energy, so I'm naturally distancing myself from it, and they from me. This has to happen before I can make room for positivity / higher energy.

I'm changing my language study habits too. I'm gonna focus hard on Pimsleur German. I'll still be all-rounded with LingQ and Clozemaster, but Pimsleur is the course that I'm gonna focus all my effort onto one language. It's the best way to move up faster. After I complete German, I don't know what's next in the plans. Maybe Italian, French, Portuguese, Russian...not sure yet. When I delve into a language on Pimsleur, I'll be doing it full on till I finish. But I'm still multitasking around 10 languages on LingQ / Clozemaster, so that will keep everything in check. And also using an extra app for Chinese called 'Du Chinese', and that's going well too.

I can envision a great year coming. Big Grin
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01-19-2018, 08:58 PM (This post was last modified: 01-20-2018 12:32 AM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #6
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
Day 63 of no fap.

I removed the Dutch C from my social media sites yesterday. It took a couple of days to make the decision, because I wanted to be sure it wasn't a hasty choice made out of heightened emotion. I've calmed down a lot, and decided yes, it was the right choice. There's nothing more for us. And there's no point seeing each other's updates, being reminded of each other, so I did what's best. This will be the last time hearing of her in my journals. Smile

I also removed another friend who is very low vibration. He didn't do anything wrong, but his energy was just so weak, that I naturally don't want to associate myself with people like that.

I'm thinking of getting rid of the American K as well. I don't think I've mentioned a lot of her in my journals. We've known each other since 2012 I think. She's cute, but short and overweight. She's always been more into me than I was into her. Years ago, this was the type of girl I could only attract. She was abused by her father growing up. Has depression and self-esteem issues. She goes through long periods of being clammed up - having no contact with anybody and not leaving the house. It happens way too often. Another time her dog died, and she was holed up for 3-4 months. Just didn't hear from her. Then a year later on the anniversary of her dog's passing, she holed up for another 3 months. It's utter overreaction. People who are depressed tend to make things worse than they need to be. My dog of 15 years passed away a couple of years ago. I cried, and stayed home for a week maybe (at the time I was still unemployed so had nowhere to go), but I realised life goes on. Recently, after not hearing from her for 4-5 months, she told me she gained a lot more weight. She also lost her job a few months ago and has just been stuck at home. We got into an argument, because I suggested she's only making her situation worse by her actions. She got infuriated saying I can't judge her because I don't know her situation, blah blah blah. Yeah, it really doesn't matter what your situation is. If you're living in a cave for months at a time, eating only junk food, or refusing to exercise, (these are the things I can observe) of course you're gonna stay depressed! Some people are just mentally weak and refuse to help themselves. She mentioned a few times she tried to eat healthier, and signed up for a gym membership too (a year ago). She never used it, which is just shocking. Eating healthier, well she only does it a couple of times, then goes back to her old ways. It's the same story for her all these years. She's 'trying' to get better, but she never does. She can't help playing the victim. Another turn off was that before I met her, she used to be this huge activist. She was very against meat and was vegetarian for a while. Some time into it, she got lazy and reverted to meat. I don't have anything against meat-eaters, but hearing about this just shows she can't stick to what she started. It's the total opposite to me. They say you can't change people or wait for them to change. It's so true. You need to just cut them loose and meet new people who are ideal to you.

It was a lot of ranting, I know, but getting all that off my chest has been advantageous. I just reaffirmed to myself why I should cut her out from my life too. There were a couple of guys from the pick up community who mentioned they had to cut off all their f-buddies, because they were too content at that level, and wanted to seek hotter girls. So because they were too content with their current predicament, they weren't motivated at all. This is what made them wanna change up things. At the time, I thought their actions were too extreme. I was thinking, one of the guys had 3 f-buddies and at least he was getting regular sex. Now I totally understand why. After a while, you get used to things and the novelty dissipates. But not just that, if you're still setting your frequency at a lower level, such that you're going for or keeping inferior girls around, you won't level up.

I've said a few times that everything has become very clear to me now. Everything is an energy exchange. You will be lowered or raised, depending on what you surround yourself with. You will be influenced and take on traits of people you interact with. It's inevitable.

Now I've kept K around for way too long. She's begged me so many times she values me and doesn't want me to leave her, but this thing we had has long expired. I know what I need to do for myself, so I can start getting girls I really want. Going to remove her right now. There's no going back after this. Onwards and upwards!

On other things, I've met new people from the polyglot groups over the last couple of days. I'm gonna start heading out to approach girls again too.

I'm shifting to a new frequency. Maybe this really is 3.2 affecting me. I wasn't sure when I created a new journal on the 13th, but things are really shifting fast this past week. At least 6-7 people have dropped off from my life. This must be the clearing from 3.2A. Can't wait to see what happens over the next few months!
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Inconceivablezen, Kol
01-20-2018, 08:44 AM
Post: #7
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
Life is bs at the moment. This clearing/culling stage is really kicking my ass. Maybe it is necessary for all these dramatic changes to happen, but it's leading to so many arguments and fall outs. Over the last few entries, I already mentioned several incidents.

For the past week, I've been having massive arguments with parents again. They're always starting shit with me, so I'd fight back for what's right. Mum is very unaware, and she'd say/do really annoying things, even after telling her multiple times not to do it. Pretty much she does what she wants, without thinking twice. After fighting, she'll finally admit she's wrong. How about, instead of apologising for your mistakes afterwards, why not be more aware in the first place and be more careful about your actions? Dad is a different story. He'll never admit his faults. I'll prove myself to be in the right, and even quote the wrong thing he said earlier, but he'll either deny what he said. After proving to him he did say what he said, he had nowhere else to run to, so he started twisting his words completely. What's worse is his anger problem. He got furious that I proved him wrong, so it started the shouting match between us both. Then he'd go onto saying that I disrespected him for shouting at him. I said I wouldn't have shouted if you didn't shout at me in the first place. He got even angrier saying that he never did, and I was the one who started the shouting, then went onto say only god knows the truth. What a cop out. He can't admit his faults. One thing about me is that my memory is super sharp, and I remember things as it is. Or maybe deep down he knows I am right too, but doesn't want to admit he's wrong. I told both of them I don't get angry for no reason. If I realise I was wrong, I'll apologise and admit my mistake. But if I'm right, I'm going to speak the truth and not back down from it. I disagree with the respecting your elders or never talk back to your parents nonsense. If they are wrong, you have to rebel. It's that simple. Just because they gave birth to you and raised you, it doesn't give them the right to mistreat you. I respect myself too much to be a doormat.

Even girls from pre-DMSI 3.2 are starting to ghost me.

The Bulgarian W is being very distant. She has a pattern of being super close with me for weeks, then she'll be emotionally distant for another few weeks. We talked a lot about hanging out, such as I visiting her and her visiting me. I'm definitely no longer going to Bulgaria. I can't trust her. She has a tendency to disappear into her own world, which leads me to worry she could easily flake on me if I show up in Bulgaria. It's just not good enough.

The local M saw my message, and she's choosing not to reply to it. I don't know what the reason is. We've been super close for months. She's always been super bubbly. We talked about all kinds of sexual topics and she revealed a lotta deep secrets to me. I think around a week ago, she also revealed that she's been suffering from depression for a while. NOT ANOTHER ONE!? Glare Sleep I don't know why I keep attracting these emotionally damaged chicks. Well I get that like attracts like, but I don't have issues with depression, so it's probably something else. But yeah, after her revelation, it just seems she's growing distant.

And the Polish J, the lesbian chick who was very forward about wanting to hunt chicks to have threesomes together, now she's distant too. She's doesn't feel like replying for some reason.

I'm definitely not planning anymore about wanting to go to this or that country, cause I'll end up regretting it and changing my plans. I am willing to fly to visit a chick, but only if she deserves it by proving herself over the long run. All this nonsense about ghosting right now, it's making me have second thoughts. Thankfully I'm no longer attached to any of them. Previously, there were times when I was getting too emotionally attached to the Polish J and the local M, pretty much putting them on a pedestal. Now I feel like I could do without them, and I'm ready to move on.

Perhaps it's for the best that some of these girls are dropping off too. Hell, I've already ended things with 6-7 other people already. Another 3, well I'm already expecting it to happen sooner or later. My energy is changing through this culling period, and it seems like it's filtering out all these former girls from my life, so I can make room for newer ones.

I just want this nonsense to end. With all this drama going on in my life, I don't even feel like going out. A lotta RSD / spammer type of pick up guys used to tell me none of it matters, that the more chicks you go up to, your mood will lighten until you totally forget about it. Well this only applies for those of you who have AA issues. When you're nervous about approaching, and then you approach, there's a huge burden off your shoulders, so you feel better. That's not me. I believe getting into state only applies to beginners. When I go out, I'm always in a calm relaxed mood. Then when I approach a chick, there's barely any more nerves to rid of, so nothing changes. How I see it is that if my mood is really bad, due to external factors, how could I go out with a peace of mind to seduce chicks? I just won't be fully there with her. Plus she'll instantly know something is off. I would rather get happy first, before going out to do anything. You wanna be that guy who provides happy vibes, not that guy who sucks energy away from others.
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01-22-2018, 09:48 AM (This post was last modified: 01-22-2018 10:38 AM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #8
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
Day 66 of no fap. Cause of the stressful events of the past few days, I got back into the edging. This is usually what causes relapses for a lotta people. They have long streaks going, but relapse during times of negative emotion. I will go off edging again though. It's a learning curve for me. I haven't gone this far without ejaculating before, and it's even a miracle that I've lasted more than two months. I know it's not an excuse for edging. I am learning a lot though to contain myself not to go all the way. Maybe one day, perhaps I can go full on hard mode. The longest I've been in hard mode is perhaps a little over a week to two weeks. I still consider myself to be on day 66 anyway, just on easy mode, cause I'm still getting the benefits from not ejaculating. My libido is still strong - that hasn't been affected.

My parents and I are talking again. Good news. Actually the day after the fight, my mum and I had another talk. We didn't fight. But I explained to her my side of things why she can't keep doing the things she's doing, and how her stress and paranoia is affecting me too, pretty much causing problems in the household that weren't there in the first place. She seems to understand for now. My family is more at peace, so my mental state is shifting back to positivity.

So that day when I wrote on here that I was gonna block the American K, I did end up doing so straight away. Yesterday, she sent me a private message, using some other person's fb account. I didn't even read it. All I saw from the first line was "This is K...etc etc". I declined the message request. It's already done. She needs to let go. I don't want her in my life anymore and I have no regrets.

The German/Swedish M posted a couple of picture updates on whatsapp. It was an intimate setting with a table, low light, candles, rose, glass with some alcoholic beverage, and there was another person sitting there opposite to her (but you can't see the face). She wrote #date in the captions. You know, surprisingly I wasn't even affected. I was more like "ohhh....." and stared at it for a few moments with a million thoughts of the possibilities it could be. When she told me she couldn't connect romantically with people, was that a lie to push me away? Or is she just having a date to explore her options? Or was it actually a fake date that girls go on with their best friends? If it were a real date, is this why she's been so distant and barely responsive anymore, cause she's seeing someone else now? I can't complain either, cause over the past year and a bit that I've known her, I've gone on dates with multiple girls myself. And I will continue to meet more girls, so seeing her with another guy or girl actually didn't sadden me one single bit. Smile I'm glad I've shifted to abundance. It's also good that I'm kind of finding out what really happened with her, especially at this time, cause it's mentally preparing me to move on, so I can shift my focus to the present now, instead of dwelling in the past. I wish her all the best with her dating life. Smile

So four days ago, I met this Canadian chick named E. She is living in Belgium right now. I met her from one of the polyglot groups. We connected really fast. Had a lot common. We chatted a lot about many different topics like languages, relationships, sex, our lives, current world affairs, etc. It was pretty all-rounded. She wasn't my type of girl that I'm attracted to per se, but I'm just glad we clicked personality wise, and was glad to make a new friend. Well tonight, something very unexpected happened. We were talking more about sexual topics. Nothing new. She was very expressive and interested in the convo. I then told her I'm really into the 'rape fantasy' thing, where we struggle and wrestle during sex. She suddenly revealed to me that she's not into that at all, cause she was raped, and just thinking and talking about it right then triggered her really hard. She said she no longer wants to talk about sex anymore and said she has to go. We said bye. An hour later, I noticed one of her comments from the polyglot group disappeared, so I checked her fb, and realised she blocked me. LOL DAMN. Triggered that hard huh. It was unfortunate what she went through and all, but it wasn't my fault either that this topic triggered her. We had been super open about sexual topics over the past four days, so yeah. I don't even care that she blocked me. Smile It's just that I do think her reaction of blocking me was too extreme, cause now I know she's not into that, I wouldn't have brought it up again. Anyway I didn't feel like I lost anything. I don't value her deeply, since she wasn't even in my life before this week anyway. I'm also getting the idea that this DMSI 3.2 and no fap thing is raising my vibes so high, that it's like an instant filter kinda thing. E has depression/trauma, and deep down my soul doesn't resonate with low frequency, so it cut off the connection instantly.

I met another girl from the polyglot groups. I don't wanna get too ahead of myself, cause so far it's way too soon. Although, she seems pretty cool, so I'll briefly talk about her. Her name is S. She's mixed with German/Hungarian/Polish. She just finished highschool over there. I get a sense that she's into Asian guys too. Yes, she is learning mostly European languages, but she also has a strong liking for Japanese and its culture. So when we started chatting on the group, the chemistry was pretty much instant. She kinda just 'got it' as the convo was going well, so she happened to randomly suggest she could help me in Hungarian if I ever wanna learn it (since we were already talking about Hungarian right then), basically hinting to continue staying in contact. I took the bait and said "Sure, you'll have to send me a friend request, since your fb profile is privated." Messaging on private message, there's so much playful teasing, like what two people do when they like each other. She's exactly the type of look I go for. She actually reminds me of a lotta German girls I've been on dates with, so I already feel familiar with her. It's like that with myself and German girls. As soon as I start talking to them, I feel like I already know them. Anyway the thing with S, it's very recent, and don't wanna get ahead of myself, or make something of it that it is not. Plus she's all the way in Germany. I'll just take it as it comes.

I'm suddenly talking to the blonde M again. I thought she was ghosting me or something. She told me her computer was messed up, so she spent days trying to fix it, only then to get a new one. And her phone is still not working. That's why she hasn't been around. With M, we are really comfortable talking about anything. I can be sexually direct with her, and she likes it. I really don't have to pretend to be anyone else. She's a fun person to just let loose with. Smile So she was telling me that she had to spend so much money on things lately, and joked herself that she might have to resort to prostitution to make a living. LOL. I joked that imagine she'd have to do things like 'gay for pay'. She was like what the hell is that? I said you never heard of that term? She goes no. I explained it's when pornstars do lesbian scenes, or when strippers to faux lesbian shows. Suddenly she said she actually almost did a lesbian photoshoot with her best friend, but it was too far of a drive, and decided not to. She also thought that she didn't want others seeing her. But yeah, I kinda already knew she was sexually open to girls too. She mentioned she made out with her friend once. Lol bisexual girls are my favourite type of girls. Wink

It's so interesting. During the past few days when I was going through hardcore clearing/culling mode, I wasn't messaging with any of the girls. The only one I was chatting with was the Canadian E, who turned out to be depressed and traumatic. As soon as my clearing stage seemed to have passed, E instantly fell out of my life, S came into my life, and M reappeared in my life. It happens to perfectly coincide with the emotions I was feeling and the energy I was receiving/putting out.
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01-24-2018, 01:07 AM (This post was last modified: 01-24-2018 01:09 AM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #9
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
I hardly make any contact with most of the colleagues now. It's a good thing. I'd rather work in my own peace and they'll do their stuff.

However one of the was acting extremely weird. He was prying too much into my personal life, and there were details I said I didn't want to tell him. He responded "You hate me now! Why do you hate me? Sad". My instincts and aggression took a hold of me. I said "You're acting like a girl now." He's mouth dropped open. I continued "Yeah! You're acting like a girl who's currently on her period." The other girl next to me heard and now her mouth was wide open. The other guy was laughing. The weird shit and people I gotta deal with every day!

The blonde M and I were talking about the lesbian shoot opportunity she once almost had, but backed out of. She said it was probably just photos, but doesn't think there would be any sex involved. I asked her if there were, would she consider having sex with another girl? She said most likely not, because she won't have sex with someone unless there's an emotional connection there. Lol perhaps it's her natural anti-***** defense kicking in? I used to struggle when hearing girls' resistance, and completely give up in trying. But nowadays, I know they say things they don't really mean, just not to make sex too easy.
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Benjamin
01-25-2018, 09:53 AM (This post was last modified: 01-25-2018 10:57 AM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #10
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
I saw this cute baby-faced Slavic chick post in one of the groups I am in. I clicked on her profile, only to realise I had already sent her a friend request a couple of months ago, but it's still pending. I initially thought "damn", then straight away thought "No, I've gone on dates with so many girls like you. Of course you're gonna like me. Why wouldn't you? I'm effing awesome!"

It seems my internal dialogue is changing. I'm feeling that entitlement again. Seems like I had lost it for a while, cause I've had a dry 2017.

So I cancelled the friend request and added her again. Few mins later, she accepts it. How about that!?

There are so many reasons why that could have happened. Maybe she missed my friend request last time. Girls get bombarded with them and don't bother to check. Or maybe she saw it back then, but wasn't in the right mind that she was looking for new people, whereas now she is. Or another possibility is that my energy has changed. Girls can feel your energy over the internet too, not just real life. A few people who do no fap, including myself, we noted that we get way more female attention online when our libido is high.
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Inconceivablezen
01-26-2018, 07:02 PM
Post: #11
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
Day 70 of no fap. I'm constantly horny all the time, even with edge. Thankfully it hasn't been decreasing my sexual energies. However I will go back to hard mode as soon as I start going out again. I hate that I've bloated a little bit. Feeling lazy and unmotivated.

The German/Swedish M sent me a graphic about Germany. I totally ignored her. She often ignores the messages from me that she deems as 'unimportant'. It's not that I'm expecting her to reply fast. She can get back to me the next day if she's busy. But not writing back at all, it's not acceptable, so I'm giving her a taste of her own medicine. She'll finally understand what it feels like to not get a reply. I know she has a lotta people she's constantly talking to, so too much abundance isn't good. I truly do believe that, because it's giving her case of ADHD, and making her forget/lose appreciation of the people she once felt for. If she wants me, she needs to put in more work.

Going for a walk later, then gym.
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01-28-2018, 04:59 AM (This post was last modified: 01-28-2018 05:04 AM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #12
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
DAY 71 of no fap.

So yesterday I wrote how I ignored the German/Swedish M's message. It felt so unnatural to do it. Sure, I've left messages hanging, only to reply the next day. But deciding not to reply altogether, it went against every grain in my body. I keep feeling that I should reply to her. I felt sorry for her too. But no, I stuck to my decision and just left it alone. Later that night, I was having sauerkraut for the first time ever. I posted a snap of it on my whatsapp, and she wrote me another message about it. Ha! So I made her double message me. It's time to just allow her to chase me again.

I've been flirting with the German/Hungarian/Polish S quite a lot. We're getting closer, and she's really fun to talk to.

Okay so I've been talking with the Lesbian Polish J again. She had been ghosting me for the past week or two. We got chatting again tonight, and we shared a bit of stuff that's been happening with us. She was telling me how she had her first lesbian kiss at 16, and it was with a 25 year old girl who she stole from another guy in the club lol. Also right now, she's flirting with another chick in class, who she suspects may like girls too, but isn't openly showing it. She also revealed to me she's now at that week of the month where she's craving the D (according to her words lol). The remainder of the month, she's just lesbian. It's very interesting info to me. She says she's like 90-95% lesbian, but it seems like biologically there's still a part of her that needs to reproduce, hence the craving for dick. I wonder if it's like that for 100% lesbians too. I mean, we are biologically driven to have sex, men and women together, which why I knew lesbians can be converted to mess around with guys too. So J went on to say she's openly polyamorous, and it would be ideal for her to have a girlfriend who's always available 3 weeks of the month, as well as a boyfriend who's always available 1 week of the month. I said she can be my open relationship girlfriend. She replied saying she's definitely down for that! We sorta discussed when it would actually count. So we agreed that after our first sex, we would consider each other to be in an 'open relationship'. And also, I don't even have to try convince her to have threesomes, cause last time she was the one who suggested herself to bring in other girls lol.

I'll eventually end up in Poland I guess, but I just don't know when. I know for sure I'm not gonna be attached to J this time though.
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01-28-2018, 12:45 PM
Post: #13
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
Hey man haven't read your journal in a long time. What has your progress been since you've been on subs?

AM6>WM2>AM6>SM3(S4)>AM6(current)
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01-31-2018, 03:04 PM (This post was last modified: 01-31-2018 03:06 PM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #14
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
My reality has been completely shattered. I won't go into too much detail, but I'll say this. Celebrities aren't who they say they are. The whole androgyny and gender fluid thing they're pushing on us is a lie. I now know the truth and it's very shocking. I will never see the world the same way again.

Perhaps it's a good thing. No more celebrity obsession lol.
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Travis, Benjamin, Rocket13, Inconceivablezen, Kol, Griffin, abundance
01-31-2018, 03:27 PM
Post: #15
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
If I could like that post twice I would, but Catman is the only one who knows that secret.

The gender fluid bs really pisses me off. And idiots like Will Smiths son pushing it by seriously wearing a dress and other idiots writing articles celebrating it, what hope to impressionable young kids have.
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wolverine_i_am, K-Train, Inconceivablezen
01-31-2018, 05:55 PM
Post: #16
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
I think it's really good what I've discovered now, cause it has completely turned me off celebrities for good. There is a reason they don't look like real people. I also think it's no coincidence I found this out just as DMSI 3.2 is coming out. It's pushing me in the right direction. Just too much time looking at non-nude pics. I'm gonna unfollow a lotta pages on fb, and also seriously considering uninstalling instagram.
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Rocket13
02-01-2018, 12:14 AM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2018 12:18 AM by CatMan.)
Post: #17
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
I can speak on this subject, due to my business dealings and networking.

Trust me, people would be SHOCKED to see the reality, underneath the mask.

Be that surgery, behaviours, way beyond just picture filters and photo shop, and fake PC niceness in public or in front of a camera or smartphone.

I know I've been stunned, especially early on, with several interactions. Made me change for good. Similar to why I'm vehemently against gold diggers/rent-a-girls. Because I know how they conduct themselves when not displaying their amazing bodies in thirst traps on IG etc. and just what they think of the guys they're "with". And how they are often very boring, selfish and one dimensional. Only interested in their own fame, attention/external validation due to usually not having any internal validation which leads to drama and problems, money, being better than the girls around them, and very little else. I think the mindset is awful and toxic to be around, doesn't lend itself to stable, drama free connections. So I don't feel it's worth it, despite their amazing hotness in many cases.

What you see, isn't what you get often with these cases. I've said this so often here so many times, but people don't listen because they haven't PERSONALLY experienced it. And think I'm crazy for not wanting to be with such "hot total 10 women". They can't see the "why". I can't blame them. When you do though...you're changed for good.

Good for you on somehow seeing it and being able to enhance your perspective through that now.
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02-04-2018, 04:47 AM
Post: #18
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
So the truth has been revealed. German/Swedish M is now dating a girl. I suspected she was in a relationship now cause of all the hints on her updates. She's also been pulling away from me for well over a month, so I thought it was highly likely she met someone. I had already been preparing for this for weeks, as I let her go emotionally, but there is still a part of me that was hit a little. I'm back to normal again though, cause like I said, I wasn't expecting anything to happen between us and I have already let her go for a while now. I told her I wish her all the best.
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02-04-2018, 05:40 AM
Post: #19
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
(02-01-2018 12:14 AM)CatMan Wrote:  I can speak on this subject, due to my business dealings and networking.

Trust me, people would be SHOCKED to see the reality, underneath the mask.

Be that surgery, behaviours, way beyond just picture filters and photo shop, and fake PC niceness in public or in front of a camera or smartphone.

I know I've been stunned, especially early on, with several interactions. Made me change for good. Similar to why I'm vehemently against gold diggers/rent-a-girls. Because I know how they conduct themselves when not displaying their amazing bodies in thirst traps on IG etc. and just what they think of the guys they're "with". And how they are often very boring, selfish and one dimensional. Only interested in their own fame, attention/external validation due to usually not having any internal validation which leads to drama and problems, money, being better than the girls around them, and very little else. I think the mindset is awful and toxic to be around, doesn't lend itself to stable, drama free connections. So I don't feel it's worth it, despite their amazing hotness in many cases.

What you see, isn't what you get often with these cases. I've said this so often here so many times, but people don't listen because they haven't PERSONALLY experienced it. And think I'm crazy for not wanting to be with such "hot total 10 women". They can't see the "why". I can't blame them. When you do though...you're changed for good.

Good for you on somehow seeing it and being able to enhance your perspective through that now.

Lol "thirst traps".

This post is dripping with truth. I'd double like it if I could.

I've dated my fair share of women who play the social media smoke and mirrors game. It really does open your eyes when you see how rotten some people are underneath. What's more is that they're so good at hiding it.

You're fortunate to be a superb judge of character CatMan (from what I've seen here and how well you can size up people's motives). Don't be surprised if other people can't see what you see, they're only looking at the superficial - seeing 10's and falling for the "halo effect" as it's known in psychology.

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek"
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CatMan
02-06-2018, 06:00 AM (This post was last modified: 02-06-2018 06:01 AM by wolverine_i_am.)
Post: #20
RE: The Lycanthrope Awakens - DMSI 3.2
Hey all. Things are changing very fast and in a massive way. Where do I even begin? I suspect I'm being affected by both semen retention and DMSI 3.2.

I have a feeling today was my last shift at work. Long story short, we aren't getting enough workload, so they will be cutting most of the staff. Maybe only keeping 1/3. I haven't received the official news yet, but I highly doubt I'll be staying. I'm not a part of the 'inner circle', who are the bunch of guys and a couple girls who are super tight with the seniors. We just have totally different personalities, so I'm pretty distant with them. I also had conflicts with several people in the department too. Just childish/bitchy behaviour on their part (some from the inner circle and others not), so I had to fend for myself for all this time. Since I started no fap in mid November, my energy has been growing and still continues to. I grew more alpha and assertive than I already was, as well as becoming intolerant of weak/beta energy. I just didn't want to associate with any of the negative people, cause I knew their energy would rub off on me, so I tried to avoid them as much as possible. However being in a negative environment, it's hard to stay happy. I'm now on day 81 of no fap and it's evolved me to the point that this job is no longer a part of my reality, so it's causing a shift, and I'm starting to be moved to a new chapter.

I don't even recognise myself from a month ago. They say you experience higher intuition and clarity when you do no fap for an extended amount of time, and I've been getting exactly that. I now know what they are talking about. A lotta people who do it for a week or two just think the only benefits are more libido and motivation. No, it turns into something else after the 1 month mark. Then on the 2 month mark, it grows even more. A friend told me his record was 65 days, but he now doesn't go beyond 7 days because he thinks there's nothing more to it. I told him that's untrue. It's hard to explain what happens after 2 months. My mind is evolving to the point that I'm just hyperaware and sensitive to everything. The clarity is incredible. It's almost like I've become psychic. I sense people's energy, so I intuitively seek out the truth of everything very fast.

I've made a huge discovery that will completely turn the world upside down. For the past few days, I started researching human anatomy, such as the differences between male and female skulls and bone structure. I found out that once you're aware of the physical difference between genders, then you observe people very closely, you'll discover that a lotta people have actually switched genders. There are more of these people than you think, but they are keeping it a secret. I won't go too much into detail with this, as it's a very controversial topic that goes really deep. But this is what I really meant in my other post when I said a lotta celebrities aren't actually real people. Some of you thought I meant they were faking their personalities or something, but I was talking about something much more. And I'm making these discoveries now, cause my mind is hyperaware to the point that I'm being directed to truth.

The German/Swedish M and I are still talking, despite her being in a relationship now. It's good she's interested in staying in contact. It was hard for me when I first heard about her new status, but I'm pretty much over it now. It's a huge blessing that I'm no longer obsessing over her, since she's too far away, cause the reality bending was probably assisting with putting things behind me, in order to attract more romantic potentials.

What a crazy few days it has been! I can sense 3.2 is very close now. TID has impacted me immensely and it's growing stronger by the day.
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