DMSI 3.2b/a - dissonance

[Determined]

Given your recent post, you could also benefit from watching this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnGGmHjg6w8&t=189s

[dissonance]

Very good video. Thanks.

[dissonance]

Going on a date this Thursday with a girl I met through OkCupid. She said she was down for friend with benefits type thing to have fun with during weekends, but she can't have sex with me right off the bat. I said thats understandable. We then reveal to each other that we both live at home, so we have no privacy. But she decides to mention shes home alone till coming Sunday... lol

Later in the convo, i say "i was just thinkin to meet to see if we click early enough so we'll have that free home alone time to do what we want ".

Then she says "lol i dont have sex with the guy until ive dated him a bit, thats my one rule" then a few seconds later she says "if we meet and click then sounds good".

I said "how come you mentioned you're gonna be home alone?"

She says "idk, in case you wanted to hang out. I wasnt referring to sex, i was just being honest"

Later during our planning for the date, I mention a place near me, but 1 hr away from her (she lives an hour away). She then asks if we can try a place thats like 35 minutes away from me, but much closer to her. Then I schedule a time for 730, then she says why so late? And I say to avoid traffic, but i can do earlier if she wants. Then she says...."would 630 be ok, theyre only open till 9pm and i assume we'll be chatting for a bit" LOL

I didn't realize it at first, but I'm beginning to think this is all on purpose from her side to enable the logistics and ease of having sex on the first date. She changed restaurant location to a closer distance to her place (which she is home alone for several days), and also moved our date earlier an hour which I'm assuming is because she wants more potential time to have sex before having to go to sleep for work lol.

This was Sunday night. Monday night, she texts me first, "How was your day? " and we have a short convo. I feel like she really wants me and is really open to first date sex lol even though she mentioned her little "rule".

What do you guys think?

[Oversoul]

She wants to have sex, but not look easy.

[SargeMaximus]

She wants to have sex, but not look easy.

Agreed.

[Shannon]

She's horny, but doesn't want to look easy (low value) or be hurt or taken advantage of, regret her actions, etc.

[dissonance]

So yesterday night I had sex for the second time in my life. Went on a date with this girl, talked for two hours, then went to her place and she gave me a massage (shes in school to be a massage therapist), watched some netflix, then at some point, we both went silent for about 5 minutes and I looked at her and she looked right back at me immediately. So I pulled her face in and kissed her. She pulls away and we go back to watching netflix, this time with some heavy petting and caressing. Repeat this a few times till i make out with her again and kiss down her body and all over her body then i go down on her, etc etc.

She says it was the first time she came from oral and that i made her cum like 10 times, and that she was shocked it was my second time having sex. She wants to try all these different things in bed now and wants to see Deadpool 2 hah. I want to try to keep things casual and friends with benefits with her though. Hopefully she doesn't catch too many feelings. She already seems VERY into me.

Anyways, it was my first actual date in my life. Way outside my comfort zone and I'd never would have imagined doing this in the past but DMSI helped enable me to make it happen.

[Oversoul]

Fuckin bawss

[SargeMaximus]

Deadpool 2 is amazing.

[Leo1990]

So yesterday night I had sex for the second time in my life. Went on a date with this girl, talked for two hours, then went to her place and she gave me a massage (shes in school to be a massage therapist), watched some netflix, then at some point, we both went silent for about 5 minutes and I looked at her and she looked right back at me immediately. So I pulled her face in and kissed her. She pulls away and we go back to watching netflix, this time with some heavy petting and caressing. Repeat this a few times till i make out with her again and kiss down her body and all over her body then i go down on her, etc etc.

She says it was the first time she came from oral and that i made her cum like 10 times, and that she was shocked it was my second time having sex. She wants to try all these different things in bed now and wants to see Deadpool 2 hah. I want to try to keep things casual and friends with benefits with her though. Hopefully she doesn't catch too many feelings. She already seems VERY into me.

Anyways, it was my first actual date in my life. Way outside my comfort zone and I'd never would have imagined doing this in the past but DMSI helped enable me to make it happen.

Just take it easy. Fwb is fine but nothing wrong with a r-ship either. At least your getting laid on the regular.

Oh by the way, that was classic Push-Pull technique. Your on then off, on then off.

Your watching netflix, then kiss, netflix, then some more, netflix, then oral... off then on.

Google badass buddha. Tom Torero.

[dissonance]

@Leo1990 - Yeah, only thing is she is a 5 or 6 at best in my eyes lol. And I'm not THAT attracted to her personality. She's nice and down to earth and outgoing and friendly but I'm not like "wow I'm so emotionally turned on by her". I'm still gonna look for new girls lol.

[dissonance]

So... a question for all...

If i wanted to break things off with her, HOW should I say it? WHAT should I say? Shes texting me everyday and seems to be realllllly chasing me hard. I feel somewhat smothered. Or maybe it's because I'm not that attracted to her. How do I break it off in a way that won't hurt her? She says shes been ghosted numerous times in the past and also been cheated on etc, so I don't wanna just become another one of those assholes in her books.

Also, she wants to see a movie 7 days from now. Should I just go to that with her before I break it off? Would that hurt her less or more? Like just having sex with her twice then breaking it off I feel like would seem i just used her for sex (or am i wrong?). But if I go see the movie, it'd be like i at least tried hanging out with her some (i said friends with benefits in our first chats), but didn't feel enough chemistry.

[K-Train]

So... a question for all...

If i wanted to break things off with her, HOW should I say it? WHAT should I say? Shes texting me everyday and seems to be realllllly chasing me hard. I feel somewhat smothered. Or maybe it's because I'm not that attracted to her. How do I break it off in a way that won't hurt her? She says shes been ghosted numerous times in the past and also been cheated on etc, so I don't wanna just become another one of those assholes in her books.

Also, she wants to see a movie 7 days from now. Should I just go to that with her before I break it off? Would that hurt her less or more? Like just having sex with her twice then breaking it off I feel like would seem i just used her for sex (or am i wrong?). But if I go see the movie, it'd be like i at least tried hanging out with her some (i said friends with benefits in our first chats), but didn't feel enough chemistry.

Ask yourself what type of relationship you really want from this chick. Don't think about her wants right now. Just think about what YOU truly want from this girl. Once you've identified it, tell her what you want. If all you want to do is be a FWB, so be it. If you want nothing else to do with her, so be it. Just let her know. Ideally it would have been better for you to have told her already what kind of relationship you wanted so that she knew from the get go what was going down but it's all good. Live and learn. I'd at least try to call her/meet up in person to deliver the news.

Another thing you need to ask yourself is this: am I creating reasons to NOT be with this woman in order to avoid executing DMSI? You've only had sex once, finally got it a 2nd time, and you're losing interest. Is that unheard of? Absolutely not. MANY guys/gals have felt the same way so what you're expressing isn't new. I just want YOU to make sure that part of your subconscious is trying to f*ck you over.

Good luck man, and congrats on getting #2. Hopefully you'll have many more in the coming months!

[dissonance]

Yeah. I feel you. I just feel guilty the past two days cuz she texts me everyday and asks me if i've tried this restuarnat or been to this place, etc (i feel like she asks me cuz she wants to go to these places with me), and that she is maybe heading into relationship direction, and all i want from her is friend with benefits/fuckbuddy type.