Maverick - Emergence

[Ampersnd]

Day 122

One of the levels that Maverick has had a significant impact on me is that it has removed how much I care about almost every aspect of my life. At the surface level, that appears shallow, apathetic, yada yada. At the deeper level, it's freeing.

I've used the cage analogy in at least one other post. That analogy is standing the test of time for me. There's freedom in removing emotional attachments to things, people, outcomes, etc. It's freedom from worry (of loss...what if it doesn't last?). It's freedom from 'needing' to 'be' something you aren't. It's freedom to enjoy the moment you're experiencing right now. I didn't realize what a slave I was until the attachments began to dissolve. For most, this post probably won't make much sense. This is part of why I'm hesitant to post. But for those experiencing it, you might describe it with different wording, but you know exactly what I'm talking about.

There's so much more going on here than I have the patience/words to describe. It's pretty incredible.

I've been having family meetings the last couple of days.
It's a nice conversation, and I enjoy being there for about 30 minutes, but then I don't feel the need to say anything.
There are things that I could ask, but then I realize it in myself that I don't care about knowing the answer.
That's unfortunate, since I know I'll regret not having these kinds of conversations when a funeral comes, a year or twenty years from now.
To add testimony to what you're saying about loss of attachment.