09-24-2020, 08:12 PM
Thank you, yeah its clearing all the stuff that's holding me back fast, also I found another reason why I watch porn and it is boredom, because of what I said last post about what my mom has said to me, I internalized all of that like I said and as a result I have no hobbies, i come home from work and I'll sit down and it's like my mind is blank just a empty husk and I get bored and it just leads to me watching porn because it's the only thing that can give me a big enough dopamine hit
And the reason why it's the only thing that can give me a dopamine hit and this is hard to admit but with porn it's not a over and done thing, I have sat and watched it for hours on end multiple tabs open etc for years since I was around 14-15 and if your dopamine receptors are fried then it all just gets screwed hence the reason multiple hours a day to porn.
Now if I'm focusing this much on porn since I started ltu it has got to be extremely damaging, I have since I started been focusing on it everyday, trying to stop I'll go a few days then relapse, so hopefully it will disappear soon and I wont ever have to watch it again, and I like to think maybe ltu is focusing on the porn the most because of how massive a problem it is and when that's cleared, any other problem will just be shooting fish in a barrel, wont even be a challenge.
And surprisingly almost forgot I have been looking at motorcycles and I found one today that I really like, it is a project but something told me it will help get you out, put your mind into this instead of porn and my last post said any excitement I have for doing something it disappears almost immediately, now this could be because I am listening to ltu right now as I type this but excitement is still there, excitement for a challenge to be able to build something with my hands, I am.actually looking forward to it which I havent had that feeling in a very long time
And the reason why it's the only thing that can give me a dopamine hit and this is hard to admit but with porn it's not a over and done thing, I have sat and watched it for hours on end multiple tabs open etc for years since I was around 14-15 and if your dopamine receptors are fried then it all just gets screwed hence the reason multiple hours a day to porn.
Now if I'm focusing this much on porn since I started ltu it has got to be extremely damaging, I have since I started been focusing on it everyday, trying to stop I'll go a few days then relapse, so hopefully it will disappear soon and I wont ever have to watch it again, and I like to think maybe ltu is focusing on the porn the most because of how massive a problem it is and when that's cleared, any other problem will just be shooting fish in a barrel, wont even be a challenge.
And surprisingly almost forgot I have been looking at motorcycles and I found one today that I really like, it is a project but something told me it will help get you out, put your mind into this instead of porn and my last post said any excitement I have for doing something it disappears almost immediately, now this could be because I am listening to ltu right now as I type this but excitement is still there, excitement for a challenge to be able to build something with my hands, I am.actually looking forward to it which I havent had that feeling in a very long time
