Life's Journey

[Life]

Pretty sure I manifested her. A lot of signs point to yes. But I posted in Shannons volume discussion a time where he mentioned his AYP sexual lover caused some serious change because her job was to help him grow in a way to live without her and not be consciously focused on the romance. I feel the opposite is happening with me. Even though I manifested her and our convos are great and she's perfect absolutely even when I think about our sexual chemistry she is very "in her head" and the past few days I've just felt that I'm changing both according to this program and the AM after effects. When I conciously think I'm connecting the most I feel a hardcore dark feeling in my mind and even though I conciously notice responsiveness people think of me as a bad guy like this... maybe that's what she perceives as right uh I was just sitting contemplating my feelings trying to see the emotional state because I'm very sure this is my perfect lover but it's very tough and I don't think thinking about it at all will speed anything up. I'm entertaining myself now

[Life]

Post AM feeling super rebellious I thunk

[Life]

If knowing the future is a black void it's sure is keith and being surprised by every thing manifested through out the day..

[Life]

Pretty sure i manifested her on the 2nd day but romantically we've just been playing hot and cold. I think that is perfect because I wouldn't respect or truly love someone after fucking them on the first day. Have come to realize, people live in a balance within their worlds. Don't know if it was the 4G or post AM choices but I've come to learn this and I know she won't have a balance until I'm inside her looking deep in her eyes. Feeling love. That is only equivalent. To the depths of her soul.

[blackwing Z]

Is it nicki minaj? She is recently single... u caused that bro? lmao XD

What you think about that btw? The whole Meek Mill/Nicki relationship, considering your wealthy lover will have more cash than you too

[Life]

Don't really care abt ppl I don't know their real names

[Life]

Dam it feels good to be in love

[Life]

As a Corrections Officer in Jail I work with inmates with a series of issues. Recently the major life changes I've noticed are starting to make sense. A lot of my expectations are dissapating about what a man should be. In jail we risk our lives every day and the job consumes life. Brothers and sisters in blue against the orange jumpsuits. The more I sink into the social life instead of fearing the loss of my alpha behaviour new sides of me shine. Other people see that from me also. I don't know if thinking about subliminals is even right anymore. Associating yourself with them just makes us different from the rest

[blackwing Z]

That completely threw me off GUARD lol. I thought you were like a software engineer or something.. Must be a hell of an interesting job. I used to work in Harlem, and that shit was eye opening. Always kept me aware of reality and pushed me insanely hard. That's why I cant relate to people on here who play videos games until they are 30 years old.

I noticed my mood on AM6 has been lightening up lately too. I dont want to be so different from the rest either. I dont even know what ALPHA means... been thinking about it...

Like now that I am going to be working in an office/lab setting, I have to learn to cooperate more with people, and actually have a soft side and develop and CARE for relationships.

Also, whats point in being Alpha if there is no love? How can a social creature be at its peak without the love/respect of other people?

IDK man, im not trying to sound all trippy. It's just most of us on the AM6 journey been getting too serious and dark, almost completely disconnected.

[Life]

That completely threw me off GUARD lol. I thought you were like a software engineer or something.. Must be a hell of an interesting job. I used to work in Harlem, and that shit was eye opening. Always kept me aware of reality and pushed me insanely hard. That's why I cant relate to people on here who play videos games until they are 30 years old.

I noticed my mood on AM6 has been lightening up lately too. I dont want to be so different from the rest either. I dont even know what ALPHA means... been thinking about it...

Like now that I am going to be working in an office/lab setting, I have to learn to cooperate more with people, and actually have a soft side and develop and CARE for relationships.

Also, whats point in being Alpha if there is no love? How can a social creature be at its peak without the love/respect of other people?

IDK man, im not trying to sound all trippy. It's just most of us on the AM6 journey been getting too serious and dark, almost completely disconnected.

Lol emphasis on the guard eh I hate that term cuz we do pretty much everything until other frontline services arrive. It's tough mentally bro every is being watched and we deal with fucked up people that put our lives in danger. It pays well but I think I got into this field for a reason and that is to be more of a man and lead by being part of something. You think we're getting dark but that's only one side of the story. For me, being adaptable and exploring feelings seem to be showing a lot of benefits I have. Tough to explain but there are times where I feel being part of law enforcement isn't alpha and having my own business is but what we want is not always what we need or what is right for life. Try having a balance between dark and light? Dissolve things that restrict you. Bro for the longest time I had a ego felt like a robot. It pushed people away now that I've found love people are coming to me I don't need to prove anything

[Life]

I feel fucked I keep going through some amazing highs and sharp lows. It feels like she can hear me as I type this... I must know how other people feel when I project on them. We're not better than anyone... fuck I hate this and love it...I feel beta submitting to what I think is right but I feel like I need this to get where I'm going

[Life]

Jeez

I'm getting manipulated like I'm dating sailor moon

[Life]

Think I found my soul mate

[Cozy]

Damn, should I be afraid of using a perfect lover sub?