Life's Journey

[Darmawan]

Average how many hours you listen?

[Life]

Funny you posted here after I read your journal, welcome.

Listen for 12 hours, or 10.

Wasn't afraid to tell some people to shut up yesterday after they tested my boundaries

[Darmawan]

Lol. Maybe we are connected to one another.

[Life]

Yes, we are on the same forum using the same sub. Anyone who runs a program 2, 3 or 4 times over is welcome. That shows true commitment.

[Darmawan]

Agree!! Commitment is number one in the world of subliminal.

[Life]

Absolutely

[Darmawan]

What your story today?

[Life]

Terrific

[Life]

Lately, been feeling more complete. Today I woke up and noticed most of the areas in my life where I want them to be. Health, career, when I want things people usually give them to me right away. If I have a goal I not only get up an achieve it but do it with some finesse also. Makes things like working out feel really good. Knowing this I'm also a lot happier and initiate conversation with female waitresses with appreciation as well as a happy go lucky mentality. One thing I know is that every interaction I invest in, will be the utmost genuine.

[Life]

Last night was crazy. I've been exercising everyday for the past 17. Last night some doubt crept in. I said "hey, there's three weeks till we gotta move, do I need to workout today?" Even though i plan my exercises so they are beneficial for me doing it everyday it was fucking tough to get motivated. I had been doing so well and wanted a cheat day. Before I really had to buckle down. I really wanted to go some where, wear my nice leather jacket and get hammered. In these doubt filled moments I usual binge on either drinking or spending money. I mustered up all my resolve and decided that to try and exercise atleast. I managed to reach my short term goals for the workout again! Immediately after I took an uber to a bar. Got hammered. Drank rum and cokes, double. Whiskies, tequila straight then beer. I don't know if this was rationalized as my last "hoorah". Nothing could stop me from drinking. I earned my night of cheating. However it wasn't the healthiest choice. I sure am paying for it today. I know it was me suppressing some pain however I feel this "pain removal" has been a recurring theme. I've had to work to eat healthy, work to exercise daily on my terms and it makes me feel better about myself. I'm smiling at strangers now a days. I don't think I'll drink like that ever again. There was some satisfaction but more often I realize drinks or food or spending doesn't make me the man I was happy to be. Healthy choices do

[Life]

Started stage 2 today. Not too excited anymore. Maybe if these transition days land on when I'm bored. The smooth transitioning from stage to the next is really smooth I even think there's really nothing that important then what I have planned for myself.

I read some posts about ASD and I've been noticing this w some women around me. It's getting better, but still not the best sign. This awareness allows me to know this will get better

Edit Just noticed a IOI literally after typing that sentence above lol

Edit 2: maybe I'm projecting that notion that's why I noticed the IOI. Been also feeling really mature like women look at me as there father

[Life]

It's no secret.

For the next five years. I'll be balancing, AM and, sex. That means running AYPL's or the new sex tech.

[Life]

Wow just got asked by a girl to be her boyfriend. Lol that's never happened before. Shit is finally working. Also got hit on today by a cute girl walking her dog. Let's hope this doesn't distract me from what I have to do. Doubt it will, muahahahaha

[Life]

Stage 2 day 2

Feeling a bit lost today. It's eerily quiet and too hot. I don't want to succumb to urges. Feel like I'm on a high horse. These urges don't even sound appealing when I think about it. All I want to do is sit here. Seems like some discipline from stage 1 is slipping. Been feeling an underlying tiredness too. Only after 8-10 hours of exposure? Glad getting my sleep pattern in order is checked on my to do list. What now