Leonidas AM Journey

[Leonidas]

It's been one week since I am crying almost daily, tears fill my eyes for no particular reason, and today, I can fill a bucket with my tears. I have never been a spiritual person but I am finding myself inclining towards it.

What comes to my mind right now is a quote by David Deida:

"To love completely and hold on to nothing - that is the only freedom"

I am reconsidering what life is.

After listening to Love Her Madly by The Doors, this came up:

'We are ALL CONNECTED at some levels and there is no such thing as 'disconnection/split' we feel after a break-up or the loss of loved one(EDIT: there is NO SEPERATION), NO thing such as DEATH, it is just what we make of it due to the limitations of our conscious understanding of what is and what is not.'

Right now, I don't have the right state of mind to further explore it and not even the right words to describe it, I just can experience it.

So, after this, I decided to read Destiny of Souls by Michael Newton, and till now it is just twisting my mind in all the different directions.

Whatever it is..

I think Stage 2 is bringing up some of the deep rooted issues, and that I am healing at other than conscious levels.

[Ryan]

Man, you brought back A LOT of memories! Actually, most of what you're going through I also remember going through big time. The thing with the parents, totally. But after AM...you're going to notice them treating you much much different. Keep going, run through 1 may be harder, run through 2...icing on the cake. You're going to love it

Ryan

[Leonidas]

Bloody Hell! :@:@

I don't know what's happening to me, I can't stand still, can't sit still, just can't be fucking still, can't sense anything, can't make out things, I am nowhere.

My whole being is FUUUUUCKKKKKK!!

[Leonidas]

Bloody Hell! :@:@

I don't know what's happening to me, I can't stand still, can't sit still, just can't be ***** still, can't sense anything, can't make out things, I am nowhere.

My whole being is FUUUUUCKKKKKK!!

It was like some unseen yet very powerful force pushing me, pushing me just to do something, I ended up going out and 'trying' to approach girls, felt much much better, and it didn't return again.

I am done with Stage 2

I have stumbled hard this week, everything went downhill, I am standing up again, slowly but steadily.

I don't really feel like writing a review, but yes, the stage been set, like a ground being prepared to build upon.

I have noticed that masturbation is complete BS, doesn't do any good. If you have enough will power to tame the beast, only doing that will make you Alpha.

Let the 'Big Guns' explode :exclamation:

[Leonidas]

I am getting rid of the internet for at least a month, it's going to deactivate anytime now, it's doing more harm than good. I am spending hours in the front of the screen going over the same things again and again, looking for perfect things, which indeed is an illusion, it's time to ditch the screen and get off my butt.

[MadTheReaper]

I am getting rid of the internet for at least a month, it's going to deactivate anytime now, it's doing more harm than good. I am spending hours in the front of the screen going over the same things again and again, looking for perfect things, which indeed is an illusion, it's time to ditch the screen and get off my butt.

If everyone did this our lives would improve a lot and our productivity would increase. I wish I had the strength to do that for myself.
I believe after that you will keep improving in everything.

See you around.