Its been a while since i've last updated. Truth be told not much has changed except so much have changed i have no clue where to start. First thing is that i feel like im slowly returning to my roots, and that is reading complex books, theories on youtube especially this one called " Imagining the 10th dimention " very intresting. Then i've noticed something, almost no body is like me. I feel a kick when i engage my brain in such way, about such topics yet almost no one thinks or talks about stuff like that. Since AM6 and DMSI i have been engaging all out in social interactions almost to the point of being obnoxious. Since this kills two birds with one stone, first because i moved to Sweden 6 years ago i want to further extend my knowledge in the language. Second to learn how to be social and develop social intellegens especially in this anti social sociaty i live in. In that time i almsot forgot what made me tick yet im reminded how alone i actually im. I really dont give a damn about small chatt, boring topics and mundane stuff. I just learned to tolerate them.
The healing/clearing have been very creul. I have had two dreams in a row about my father. The first one where he used to sit me and my brother down and lecture us for hours at a time. Everytime he does that he makes me feel worthless, he have a special talent for making people feel bad to the point of hating themselves. He lies, manipulates the subject and the situation, uses interrogation tactics and most importantly his biggest talent is making people feel worthless. Pretty much what his father did to him. This ofcoure went on for years with 3 to 4 lecture a week. Almsot to the point where i feel sick just feeling his presence expecting him to emotionally abuse me even when he is not.
In the first dream, he gets my brother very angry to the point where my brother hits him. He then laughs amd says im going to get you in prison for doing that. For the entire dream i was in despair.. the second dream is more or less him making me feel worthless and feeling like he is right.
What could you expect from a military man who's whole family hate him, his father abused him. He went to prison on false accusation and got tortured for 2 years. And almost nobody tolerates him anymore. He is also ESTJ, the most annyoing type
Unlike dmsi where i felt terrible and afraid during and after dreams. I just feel miserable.
Silverline is that what he made me go through have shaped me for who i am. I also have a quite tough skin thanks to him. Its quite peculiar that MLS is touching on this topic, could be something standing in my way achieving maximum learning speed since his words hold me back still. Maybe
- On a DMSI related note, the new girl im seeing says and i quote: " Stop wearing perfume, your natural smell is delicious ". I asked he what she means and she said " it smells like you "
During sex she once said " your smell is addictive "
A moth later and im still experiancing dmsi's results, the phermone signature is very real.
The healing/clearing have been very creul. I have had two dreams in a row about my father. The first one where he used to sit me and my brother down and lecture us for hours at a time. Everytime he does that he makes me feel worthless, he have a special talent for making people feel bad to the point of hating themselves. He lies, manipulates the subject and the situation, uses interrogation tactics and most importantly his biggest talent is making people feel worthless. Pretty much what his father did to him. This ofcoure went on for years with 3 to 4 lecture a week. Almsot to the point where i feel sick just feeling his presence expecting him to emotionally abuse me even when he is not.
In the first dream, he gets my brother very angry to the point where my brother hits him. He then laughs amd says im going to get you in prison for doing that. For the entire dream i was in despair.. the second dream is more or less him making me feel worthless and feeling like he is right.
What could you expect from a military man who's whole family hate him, his father abused him. He went to prison on false accusation and got tortured for 2 years. And almost nobody tolerates him anymore. He is also ESTJ, the most annyoing type
Unlike dmsi where i felt terrible and afraid during and after dreams. I just feel miserable.
Silverline is that what he made me go through have shaped me for who i am. I also have a quite tough skin thanks to him. Its quite peculiar that MLS is touching on this topic, could be something standing in my way achieving maximum learning speed since his words hold me back still. Maybe
- On a DMSI related note, the new girl im seeing says and i quote: " Stop wearing perfume, your natural smell is delicious ". I asked he what she means and she said " it smells like you "
During sex she once said " your smell is addictive "
A moth later and im still experiancing dmsi's results, the phermone signature is very real.
INTJ
