How do I stop comparing myself to guys who are taller than me?

[james_2012]

I am 5.11. Growing up, I was often compared to my older brother who is 6.1/5. It might seem silly but years later I find it hard to get rid of this thought pattern.

[Shannon]

I'm 5'6. Andrew is 6'1. When we're out together, everyone else notices it more than I do. I don't care because I am self secure. My height doesn't define me, and I don't rely on my height to have permission to think of myself as "good enough", "man enough", "sexy enough". All of those things, I am because I choose to be. Not because I am 5'6" tall. (According to my driver's license. I was surprised to read that, because everyone thinks I am 5'8 at least... and I did too. Maybe I am.)

You will need to kill the insecurity that underlies this issue and understand that height isn't as important as we tend to make it in our own minds. Being good enough is the result of looking within for our validation. If you attempt to validate yourself by comparing yourself to someone else, or seeking someone else's approval, you will inevitably fail. This is a big part of what's wrong with society, and why women are doing things like getting breast implants and having their vaginal lips cut off. They think they're not good enough because they're judging themselves by looking at someone else, instead of looking at themselves and deciding what value they have instead.

Nobody can give or take value from you as a person unless you let them. Ultimately, you are always the one who makes the decision as to what your own value is, and everyone else will ultimately follow that decision.

[james_2012]

Thanks Shannon for your wise words and encouragement).