08-31-2018, 01:25 AM
Day 52
I am getting more vocal. The depression and negative feeling is somewhat better. Got busy with a ton load of work at office. Maybe that helped in diversion or sub healing something, don't know.
I have notice that I am getting more confrontational and direct with people. I feel that some fear when talking to someone about any issue or discussing is gone. I feel in my office when I am talking to someone I just talk very straight, somewhat less diplomatic. The fear that is gone is making me talk more straight and what i want and less diplomatic and less beating around the bush.
I can also approach completer strangers and people much more confidently.
I had an issue with government agency. It was not my mistake. They sent me a notice wrongly. I went to the office and talked to them and they understood the situation. They took back the notice. This is huge difference for me. If it had happened a year ago, I might have tried to just ignore it and pray for it to go away.
I have always been very uncomfortable with uniformed people / people with authority including traffic police. I never committed any crime apart from 3 or 4 parking tickets in my life. My fear has always been like I am guilty and will be penalized and could never be comfortable talking to them. Low confidence was also part of the problem.I could say my confidence / self esteem is better and I can breathe much better in presence of uniformed people. I am more relaxed and myself.
I have always felt an empty feeling inside me in such situations when questioned / asked / had to talk or explain myself. This is now gone to a large extent. I feel less stressful.
I am getting more vocal. The depression and negative feeling is somewhat better. Got busy with a ton load of work at office. Maybe that helped in diversion or sub healing something, don't know.
I have notice that I am getting more confrontational and direct with people. I feel that some fear when talking to someone about any issue or discussing is gone. I feel in my office when I am talking to someone I just talk very straight, somewhat less diplomatic. The fear that is gone is making me talk more straight and what i want and less diplomatic and less beating around the bush.
I can also approach completer strangers and people much more confidently.
I had an issue with government agency. It was not my mistake. They sent me a notice wrongly. I went to the office and talked to them and they understood the situation. They took back the notice. This is huge difference for me. If it had happened a year ago, I might have tried to just ignore it and pray for it to go away.
I have always been very uncomfortable with uniformed people / people with authority including traffic police. I never committed any crime apart from 3 or 4 parking tickets in my life. My fear has always been like I am guilty and will be penalized and could never be comfortable talking to them. Low confidence was also part of the problem.I could say my confidence / self esteem is better and I can breathe much better in presence of uniformed people. I am more relaxed and myself.
I have always felt an empty feeling inside me in such situations when questioned / asked / had to talk or explain myself. This is now gone to a large extent. I feel less stressful.
E1 182 days: E2 127 days: USLM3 317 days: UMS 210 days...
