07-15-2018, 11:49 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-15-2018, 11:51 PM by guyinlahore.)
Day 5
If you have read my journal for E1 you would know that when I ended the sub, at that time I had some disturbing feelings regarding homosexuality / gay. Shortly afterwards I stopped listening to the sub.
Now when I think of it, I think the sub had started to touch some old stuff regarding my childhood abuse.I had noticed that people were behaving strangely towards me. I also noticed different feelings inside. I did not felt normal. Maybe I started to associate myself with homosexuality during the abuse period. It is not easy for to think and realize about the emotional state at that time. I think it might be that the sub had stirred feelings which arose during the abuse. I stopped listening to it and that feelings/ experience was left opened. I had a gap of about 1 month before I started E2. During this time I was desperately looking to overcome it. I searched this forum. Shannon does not make any sub which can change your sexuality. I looked around and found a site which makes erotic hypnosis. There was a hypnosis mainly targeted at women which would change the sexuality and make them interested in women (lesbian) and not like men. It seemed suitable. I listened to it for about 2 weeks. It made a major difference in me and people around me. However it was I think around 50% of what I wanted. I stopped it before starting E2. After starting E2, I think now that emotional state is gone like 95%. I can still feel it sometimes. Once I was out in the mall and stopped E2, and within minutes I felt so different.
If you have read my journal for E1 you would know that when I ended the sub, at that time I had some disturbing feelings regarding homosexuality / gay. Shortly afterwards I stopped listening to the sub.
Now when I think of it, I think the sub had started to touch some old stuff regarding my childhood abuse.I had noticed that people were behaving strangely towards me. I also noticed different feelings inside. I did not felt normal. Maybe I started to associate myself with homosexuality during the abuse period. It is not easy for to think and realize about the emotional state at that time. I think it might be that the sub had stirred feelings which arose during the abuse. I stopped listening to it and that feelings/ experience was left opened. I had a gap of about 1 month before I started E2. During this time I was desperately looking to overcome it. I searched this forum. Shannon does not make any sub which can change your sexuality. I looked around and found a site which makes erotic hypnosis. There was a hypnosis mainly targeted at women which would change the sexuality and make them interested in women (lesbian) and not like men. It seemed suitable. I listened to it for about 2 weeks. It made a major difference in me and people around me. However it was I think around 50% of what I wanted. I stopped it before starting E2. After starting E2, I think now that emotional state is gone like 95%. I can still feel it sometimes. Once I was out in the mall and stopped E2, and within minutes I felt so different.
E1 182 days: E2 127 days: USLM3 317 days: UMS 210 days...
