08-18-2016, 09:12 PM
I didn't do any keyboard today, which is kinda sucks. I'm very unmotivated I guess. Sometimes I feel like if only I worked harder, but I realize now that not working hard is just as conscious a decision as working hard. I always fantasize what a better life I will have if I were a hard worker, which just wastes so much time. Gotta stop.
I might have had anger today, but don't remember so I guess it's alright. But part of it is because I've grown to not care that I'm angry all the time, so I don't know.
I listened to E2 for a bit (headphones/ocean surf), but for the past few weeks, I've doubled my porn watch and jerking, and I just kinda stopped the subliminal halfway to jerk off... I feel real bad now cuz I didn't listen to the whole 3 hours I intended to. Stopped at around 1 and a half. I let it run on the ultrasonic during the night though.
Today was one of those surreal days that I kinda just don't know how I got from this morning to this night. I vaguely remember certain things, but I guess it just went so bad(?) that I almost don't want to remember the events of the day. Anyways, I'll try to listen better tomorrow, practice, and have more self awareness.
I might have had anger today, but don't remember so I guess it's alright. But part of it is because I've grown to not care that I'm angry all the time, so I don't know.
I listened to E2 for a bit (headphones/ocean surf), but for the past few weeks, I've doubled my porn watch and jerking, and I just kinda stopped the subliminal halfway to jerk off... I feel real bad now cuz I didn't listen to the whole 3 hours I intended to. Stopped at around 1 and a half. I let it run on the ultrasonic during the night though.
Today was one of those surreal days that I kinda just don't know how I got from this morning to this night. I vaguely remember certain things, but I guess it just went so bad(?) that I almost don't want to remember the events of the day. Anyways, I'll try to listen better tomorrow, practice, and have more self awareness.
