E2 ... thinking of suicide

[achtung81]

ive been on E2 for about 4 months now after having run AM6 3 times. i just hit a real rough patch... headaches and backaches plus very depressing thoughts. things just seem hopeless for me right now. i dont think i have anything to live for. please help.

[Nox]

ive been on E2 for about 4 months now after having run AM6 3 times. i just hit a real rough patch... headaches and backaches plus very depressing thoughts. things just seem hopeless for me right now. i dont think i have anything to live for. please help.

You have a lot to live for, no matter your situation. If you need to talk I'm here man.

[Zane]

We all are here dude you can talk to us.. Its just a phase and will pass don't worry..

[Nox]

When you're going through rough patches you can trick yourself into feeling better.

If you meditate do that until you can slow down a bit. If not, take a hot bath and listen to some peaceful music. Epsom salt is nice here. Or just daydream and relax to calm down. Just do whatever you can to slow your thoughts. Even masturbate if your mind won't stop.

Then just sit with eyes closed and do a couple of things.

Without knowing exactly the time or place of the event, tell yourself "I will now feel as happy as the happiest time of my life." Just stay slow and repeat that a until you can feel your mood shift a bit. It doesn't have to be a full blown happy bomb, just a slight change in mood to start. Don't doubt or tell yourself it won't work as that sets different gears in motion.

After you feel that slight shift, start asking yourself honestly "why am I even happier now?" Don't make up or look for answers or doubt. Just keep asking yourself that almost mantra like, but spaced out a bit more.

If you can keep that stillness and go through these two thoughts it'll start shifting processes around a bit to help ease the bad stuff. Just keep it very simple and don't try to force anything. You can try joyful instead of happy as well, as sometimes you'll react to one better than the other.

[Shawn]

ive been on E2 for about 4 months now after having run AM6 3 times. i just hit a real rough patch... headaches and backaches plus very depressing thoughts. things just seem hopeless for me right now. i dont think i have anything to live for. please help.

Dude, I had two times similar thoughts on DMSI 3. Try to make clear to yourself that if you would kill yourself you would take any chance away to experience something better than now.

[CatMan]

Whatever you do, do NOT commit suicide.

We are all here to talk to you or listen anytime.

And do not stop listening to the sub, I'd say. Whatever it is that has you feeling that way has to be purged from you. It's causing you to consider such a horrible thing, it needs to be removed!

I broke down to tears once or twice during DMSI 3.0.1-A. The worst one was about the thought of my parents dying, and I suddenly became very distraught and terrified with that thought that it will happen. They are healthy now, so this sudden terrifying fear and emotion shocked me. I needed about an hour or two with my brother to chill out and then everything was okay, and I was far more calm about the subject.

These subs hit us very deep, especially the latest 5.5Gs.

The night is always darkest before the dawn!

[Choice]

ive been on E2 for about 4 months now after having run AM6 3 times. i just hit a real rough patch... headaches and backaches plus very depressing thoughts. things just seem hopeless for me right now. i dont think i have anything to live for. please help.

Think of how devastating it would be for your family. The suffering doesn't end, you pass it on to your loved ones.

I had many dark days myself, but as long there's breath within me I can still change things for the better. Once you're gone you're gone, there's nothing to be done anymore.

[Bliss]

I have been in the same headspace on these subs before, and may be there again in the future. I've learnt it's kinda part of the deal with this emotional work, not for everyone, but a lot of people have felt this hopeless, depressed, nothing to live for feeling before. I think you know that, which is why you're sharing these feelings as opposed to actually checking out, which is good.

What helps me deal with these feelings is to look through everyones OF, OGSF and EPRHA journals from like 2010-now and read about all of the feelings they dealt with and then see that only 2 days later they were feeling great and hooking up with some hot blonde.

[Shannon]

ive been on E2 for about 4 months now after having run AM6 3 times. i just hit a real rough patch... headaches and backaches plus very depressing thoughts. things just seem hopeless for me right now. i dont think i have anything to live for. please help.

If you're feeling hopeless, then it's time to take a break from E2. It's your subconscious mind's way of telling you it isn't ready for this yet.

There's some things that I always remembered when I was feeling hopeless and/or suicidal, and they helped me come through.

First, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary issue. Choosing a permanent solution to a temporary issue is very unwise.

Second, remember and realize that it is a temporary issue. This too shall pass. Since all things happen in cycles, it is inevitable that it will change to something better.

Third, think of those who care about you. What would you hurting or killing yourself do to them? Whenever I was really wanting to kill myself, I would think about it and I realized, I can't do that to my friends or family. My pain is only one person's pain, but me killing myself multiplies my pain by how many undeserving people?

Fourth, it is good that you are asking for help. You should ask for help from people who are physically in your life, and have them help you more directly.

Fifth, be sure to get outside, get enough direct sunlight, and make sure you're not eating too much in the way of carbohydrates. Whenever I feel depressed, I can tell what kind of depression it is because if I eat some protein, I will alleviate depression caused by an imbalance of diet, and the feeling of hopelessness goes away in about 20 minutes. If it does not, then I know that my depression is emotionally caused. This may or may not be a determining technique for you, but diet plays a big part in brain chemistry and mental health. Also take a good multi-vitamin.

Sixth, get some exercise. Go for a walk, jog, run, do something. Exercise is also good for helping the feelings of hopelessness.

Seventh, try to find something that will make you happier to do. I find that sometimes, when I am down and feeling hopeless, riding my hover board around my city is very helpful. I don't know why, but it is. Do something that makes you engage, and is enjoyable for you.

And eighth, keep in contact with us. We obviously care and don't want to see you hurt yourself.

Take a break from E2 for a while and let the feelings pass. Take a break. Then try using it at a rate of 1-3 loops a day and see how that works once you're feeling better.

[Raykon]

I've been severely depressed last winter didn't want to leave my house and had bad anxiety..

ive thought about suicide too and the only reason i could never do it is what i read "suicide doesn't kill the pain, it just transfers it to someone else"

suicide is never the answer if you dont like your life start doing what you want to do and not what others say u should live. make a life u like. whether that means living in the woods as a hermit, or living as an activist in africa.


for me ive found producing rap to be one of my biggest outlets.. 20 min ago i was sad about some beautiful women who came over with my friends at my house last night night and was dating my buddy and even though we both had great connection i probably will never be with her.. i was hurting, a women hasn't made feel like that in 2 years..

spit a freestyle talking bout it and literally 5 min after i no longer feel nearly the same intensity of pain...


Find your outlet you are probably loved by more people then u think.. every personality is unique n beautiful and you cannot be taken away from the world


Change is the only constant in life.. you will be happy again i promise <3

[Shannon]

When I was in HS and shortly after, I was suicidally depressed because of a few different factors... terrible diet, first love killed herself, and my circumstances were just horrible in some ways... when it got bad, I found that there was a poet inside me.

I never write poetry unless I am extremely depressed, but that poetry was my outlet. It was dark and in some cases horrific imagery, but it got the pain out. Probably helped keep me alive, too. I still have that poetry, somewhere.

I'm glad you found a way to express yourself that relieves your pain.

[RTBoss]

This dude never logged back on after the 22nd. Hm.

[Raykon]

Perhaps someone should find out his IP and contact authorities to look into it.

[Have at ye]

Might be a good idea to at least send him an e-mail or something. Hopefully he did not actually hurt himself (and I believe that E2 probably has a lot of stuff to prevent that from happening).