DMSI, will you be the final piece of puzzle?

[sw72hw]

I made myself dinner and now I got a barrage of responses. Wow. Okay.

Anyway, I realized that my prep style has changed. In the past, I would just pike up all the stuff together and wash the stuff. Now, I will clean in between. For instance, I will chop up veggies, and clean up the cutting board and the knife. I will go to different spot to cut the meat (using different knife and board), and clean the board and the knife used to cut the meat. And so on.

As far as the looks go, I should have made it more explicit. It wasn't so much about the worry about the looks. It was more with my thought that hey, even though I do pose a lot for like the guy in the photo, I still don't look as good. I was wondering if the pose worked well because the guy is already good looking, or it was the pose that made him look even better. That's what was going on in the head, and I just stated that comment about the look. There was no worry, and no feeling bad (maybe just a little, I mean, everybody wants to look better and hotter right?).

Anyway, I got a response from the pro. He's willing to do it, and I will need to see if the time is matching. (If not, I'll figure something out.) Oh, and the cost is $29 for two pics, and if I want more than that it will be $20 per each photos. (So yeah, I may get another one, and then I'll get it at $49, which was what I was thinking of paying anyway.)

I also got a haircut yesterday as well. I wanted to get one before my hair stylist goes off to her maternity leave, so that is done. (Not necessarily thinking about photos.)

Before, I spend any significant amount of money, I will first look at the textbook cost. Then, I'll consider spending more. (Which I should have done anyway.)

Thank you all for sharing your opinions. Hopefully, I didn't let anyone down, or created another miscommunication.

[Shannon]

i should probably elaborate more on my statement. what i meant was that on a scale of 1-10, being between 5 and 7/8 should be relatively equal as far as the results you obtain from online dating. (i don't have science or data to back this up so don't lynch me, just what i know of the whole concept). obviously you should get nice looking clothes and have a nice hairstyle in the pictures you take. even if you're a 10/10 guy, looking like an ungroomed homeless man will serve you NO purpose.

so there, use the money you would have spent on a professional photographer to go into BarberShop, get a nice hairstyle, then go to a thrift store, get some fashionable clothez, and go on the streets and ask people to take pics of you in the poses that sarge posted above.

then? pick one or two of the best pics and go from there

now at least you'll have clothes you can use for a long time, as opposed to a photographer who will take your money and you'll have 3 useful pics and 300 useless pics to show for it.

You should be aware that a GWC and a professional photographer are two very different things. A GWC (Guy/Gal With Camera) often thinks he/she is "a professional photographer " because they found someone who would pay them to use auto mode on a camera for them.

Professionals spend years mastering a very wide variety of skills and areas of knowledge ranging from how to interact with a variety of subjects they are photographing, to how the physics of light works to the psychology of color and how to create a finished product that triggers specific psychological responses in their clients. Learning to effectively pose ones subjects is an area of study all its own, and a challenging one at that.

So next time you want to criticize professional photographers, don't criticize the failings of a GWC and blame the professionals.

[sw72hw]

i should probably elaborate more on my statement. what i meant was that on a scale of 1-10, being between 5 and 7/8 should be relatively equal as far as the results you obtain from online dating. (i don't have science or data to back this up so don't lynch me, just what i know of the whole concept). obviously you should get nice looking clothes and have a nice hairstyle in the pictures you take. even if you're a 10/10 guy, looking like an ungroomed homeless man will serve you NO purpose.

so there, use the money you would have spent on a professional photographer to go into BarberShop, get a nice hairstyle, then go to a thrift store, get some fashionable clothez, and go on the streets and ask people to take pics of you in the poses that sarge posted above.

then? pick one or two of the best pics and go from there

now at least you'll have clothes you can use for a long time, as opposed to a photographer who will take your money and you'll have 3 useful pics and 300 useless pics to show for it.

You should be aware that a GWC and a professional photographer are two very different things. A GWC (Guy/Gal With Camera) often thinks he/she is "a professional photographer " because they found someone who would pay them to use auto mode on a camera for them.

Professionals spend years mastering a very wide variety of skills and areas of knowledge ranging from how to interact with a variety of subjects they are photographing, to how the physics of light works to the psychology of color and how to create a finished product that triggers specific psychological responses in their clients. Learning to effectively pose ones subjects is an area of study all its own, and a challenging one at that.

So next time you want to criticize professional photographers, don't criticize the failings of a GWC and blame the professionals.

Hopefully the guy I'm going for isn't some GWC. At least he's been doing photography for over 30 years. (He also stated that he studied photography under a few other photographers, but since I don't know phytography well, I don't know how good they are.) Also the Groupon review has been all good about the dude, and I think his portfolio looks legit. Fingers crossed. Still I'm not losing much, even if he were a GWC.

And eternity, thank you for a great suggestion. I didn't know what a thrift store was, so I searched online. (It turned out that it is equivalent to second hand store. At least, that's my understanding.) From my experience, buying a clothes is very hard, as finding the right size is always very difficult for me. (Either too large or too small. Say that if I go for the neck, then chest and arm length do not fit, if go for the other one, then neck doesn't fit......) Also, even if I find the size that fits, it usually requires tailoring, unless it happens to be super expensive clothing. (Which I find it to be odd.... I wonder if God made me a very high maintenance person.) It seems also to be in the gene. Both of my parents have difficult time in finding the stuff, and my dad pretty much needs to resort to tailor made. (Ffor his suits and shirts.)

Still, your point on clothing is noted. For the photography session, I think I have decent clothes, so I think I will be fine. (Unless I look like a total bomb, I should be fine. Hey, I think it's the vibe that the person is giving that matters more. Right? Pose is something that can create the vibe.)

On the other hand though, I think I will be asking (or at least try my best to ask) strangers for photos, when I get out to different landmarks. (I plan to enjoy as much as those as I can before semester starts.) As I mentioned earlier, I'm awkward being in the photo, and as a result I pretty much don't have any pictures about me. I think it needs to change, so I will be working on that. (Hey, it will be a good practice for approaching strangers, being more natural, and being more comfortable when posing and smiling. A win win.)

[Shannon]

Hopefully the guy I'm going for isn't some GWC. At least he's been doing photography for over 30 years. (He also stated that he studied photography under a few other photographers, but since I don't know phytography well, I don't know how good they are.) Also the Groupon review has been all good about the dude, and I think his portfolio looks legit. Fingers crossed. Still I'm not losing much, even if he were a GWC.

Doing photography for that long... plus that word "study"... plus studying under other photographers? That's a professional 9 times out of 10.

[eternity]

If he's got the skills that pay the bills, then sure why not? Better than $300 photoshoot

I didn't mean to sound ignorant with my comment but I guess I did. I defer to you in photography, as you are an expert in that area

[Shannon]

If he's got the skills that pay the bills, then sure why not? Better than $300 photoshoot

I didn't mean to sound ignorant with my comment but I guess I did. I defer to you in photography, as you are an expert in that area

The problem these days is that 99% of "photographers" are really GWCs. The 1% who have the study and skill and experience and understanding to truly do great things, nobody is willing to pay anymore because of all the GWCs.

That's why I stopped doing professional photography work. Nobody was willing to pay me what my time, knowledge, understanding, skill and experience are worth. $300 for a 2 hour modeling portfolio shoot? As a wedding photographer, my lowest end package was $1,250. The "standard" packages most people wanted were $2,500 and $5,000 respectively. They wanted it for free... or, they wanted to spend $500 or less, if they were willing to pay at all. Once, I had a friend ask me to do their wedding and never bothered to deal with payment. I wanted to see what they thought my time and skill was worth. They paid me $200, for 9 hours of on-your-feet be-everywhere-at-once one-shot-one-kill no-second-chances photography and a week of post processing. $200 covered the wear and tear on my genuinely professional equipment, and my gas.

Another time, I had a "friend" beg me for months to photograph their wedding, and then when I relented, they told me they could only pay me $300. Several days before the wedding (by which time most real professionals have already started investing time and effort and money into preparing for the wedding photography) she called me up and said, "Never mind, I have a friend who will do it for free." There went my time and money - and that "friendship".

There's a lot more to it than just point and shoot when it comes to truly professional level photography. We may make it look easy, but it's not. It's a lot of time, effort, money and expensive-ass equipment and training that make it possible.

Now, cell phones are "good enough" for most people. Nobody cares. So let them have cell phone pictures and the likes. I have better things to do with my time.

That's the other side of the story.

[sw72hw]

If he's got the skills that pay the bills, then sure why not? Better than $300 photoshoot

I didn't mean to sound ignorant with my comment but I guess I did. I defer to you in photography, as you are an expert in that area

The problem these days is that 99% of "photographers" are really GWCs. The 1% who have the study and skill and experience and understanding to truly do great things, nobody is willing to pay anymore because of all the GWCs.

That's why I stopped doing professional photography work. Nobody was willing to pay me what my time, knowledge, understanding, skill and experience are worth. $300 for a 2 hour modeling portfolio shoot? As a wedding photographer, my lowest end package was $1,250. The "standard" packages most people wanted were $2,500 and $5,000 respectively. They wanted it for free... or, they wanted to spend $500 or less, if they were willing to pay at all. Once, I had a friend ask me to do their wedding and never bothered to deal with payment. I wanted to see what they thought my time and skill was worth. They paid me $200, for 9 hours of on-your-feet be-everywhere-at-once one-shot-one-kill no-second-chances photography and a week of post processing. $200 covered the wear and tear on my genuinely professional equipment, and my gas.

Another time, I had a "friend" beg me for months to photograph their wedding, and then when I relented, they told me they could only pay me $300. Several days before the wedding (by which time most real professionals have already started investing time and effort and money into preparing for the wedding photography) she called me up and said, "Never mind, I have a friend who will do it for free." There went my time and money - and that "friendship".

There's a lot more to it than just point and shoot when it comes to truly professional level photography. We may make it look easy, but it's not. It's a lot of time, effort, money and expensive-ass equipment and training that make it possible.

Now, cell phones are "good enough" for most people. Nobody cares. So let them have cell phone pictures and the likes. I have better things to do with my time.

That's the other side of the story.

As a matter of fact, I saw wedding photos and other bigger packages offered at the price you mentioned, when I was searching for suitable photographers. Many wedding packages were offered at around $2,500 or more, and the cheapest I saw was around $1000 something. Even groupon stuff was expensive for wedding.

If I marry a girl, and I have the money to spend, I'd definitely go for it. After all, you only take one wedding photo (at least for that marriage), and it's something you keep it for the life time. I'd definitely want the best, not just good enough, as I will want to remember that day, reliving the joy and happiness from the special bonding ceremony with the woman I love. (I sound like some hopeless romantic here, but I'm not liking how I pulled this one. I feel that I can make the language better. Oh well. ) Of course, that comes with an assumption that I can afford it.

I suppose for online dating profile photos, a thing is that you only get to really use them for a small amount of time. It's not something you'd keep it for a long time. Isn't it the case that you need to constantly update your profile photos? Assuming this is the case, it'd be quite burdensome to keep paying those price (several hundreds or thousands) to get the photos on a regular basis for average dudes. I suppose that's where the hesitation comes in for spending lots of money on it. Also, I think that many people who resort to online dating are probably average people, while the rich people who don't feel that it's costly are more likely to resort to some sort of professional match making service.

Nevertheless, I respect the works by photographers. Hey, it will be very hard to work with all the lighting, people with awkward poses, taking caring of the equipment, and etc. (This is in part somewhat related to my past experience of taking a film making class. It's different from photography, there are some similarities. Hell it was still quite difficult, and frustrating. Fun, nevertheless.) I have even a higher respect for those who do natural photos. I knew one who did wild photo shooting, and man it sounded like a very tough work which required huge amount of patience. (But the reward is priceless though. Those beautiful pictures of natural shots of animals, scenery, and etc. )

Anyway, I hope that this professional will deliver some great results. (Based on the reviews, he should. Everybody was happy with him.) As this is my first experience of doing online dating, (well any type of dating to be specific, other than speed dating, which I tried once or twice), I can use any help and advantages I can get. (Including the photos, of course.) I suppose what I lack the most are lack of experience and lack of actually getting out there and doing stuff like this. So, I'm content, and I think I'm off to a good start. (Even if I were spending a little more than possibly necessary.)

But a question arises. Is this DMSI's effort in pushing me, and getting me the experiences I need to achieve its goal?

[Shannon]

If he's got the skills that pay the bills, then sure why not? Better than $300 photoshoot

I didn't mean to sound ignorant with my comment but I guess I did. I defer to you in photography, as you are an expert in that area

The problem these days is that 99% of "photographers" are really GWCs. The 1% who have the study and skill and experience and understanding to truly do great things, nobody is willing to pay anymore because of all the GWCs.

That's why I stopped doing professional photography work. Nobody was willing to pay me what my time, knowledge, understanding, skill and experience are worth. $300 for a 2 hour modeling portfolio shoot? As a wedding photographer, my lowest end package was $1,250. The "standard" packages most people wanted were $2,500 and $5,000 respectively. They wanted it for free... or, they wanted to spend $500 or less, if they were willing to pay at all. Once, I had a friend ask me to do their wedding and never bothered to deal with payment. I wanted to see what they thought my time and skill was worth. They paid me $200, for 9 hours of on-your-feet be-everywhere-at-once one-shot-one-kill no-second-chances photography and a week of post processing. $200 covered the wear and tear on my genuinely professional equipment, and my gas.

Another time, I had a "friend" beg me for months to photograph their wedding, and then when I relented, they told me they could only pay me $300. Several days before the wedding (by which time most real professionals have already started investing time and effort and money into preparing for the wedding photography) she called me up and said, "Never mind, I have a friend who will do it for free." There went my time and money - and that "friendship".

There's a lot more to it than just point and shoot when it comes to truly professional level photography. We may make it look easy, but it's not. It's a lot of time, effort, money and expensive-ass equipment and training that make it possible.

Now, cell phones are "good enough" for most people. Nobody cares. So let them have cell phone pictures and the likes. I have better things to do with my time.

That's the other side of the story.

As a matter of fact, I saw wedding photos and other bigger packages offered at the price you mentioned, when I was searching for suitable photographers. Many wedding packages were offered at around $2,500 or more, and the cheapest I saw was around $1000 something. Even groupon stuff was expensive for wedding.

If I marry a girl, and I have the money to spend, I'd definitely go for it. After all, you only take one wedding photo (at least for that marriage), and it's something you keep it for the life time. I'd definitely want the best, not just good enough, as I will want to remember that day, reliving the joy and happiness from the special bonding ceremony with the woman I love. (I sound like some hopeless romantic here, but I'm not liking how I pulled this one. I feel that I can make the language better. Oh well. ) Of course, that comes with an assumption that I can afford it.

I suppose for online dating profile photos, a thing is that you only get to really use them for a small amount of time. It's not something you'd keep it for a long time. Isn't it the case that you need to constantly update your profile photos? Assuming this is the case, it'd be quite burdensome to keep paying those price (several hundreds or thousands) to get the photos on a regular basis for average dudes. I suppose that's where the hesitation comes in for spending lots of money on it. Also, I think that many people who resort to online dating are probably average people, while the rich people who don't feel that it's costly are more likely to resort to some sort of professional match making service.

Nevertheless, I respect the works by photographers. Hey, it will be very hard to work with all the lighting, people with awkward poses, taking caring of the equipment, and etc. (This is in part somewhat related to my past experience of taking a film making class. It's different from photography, there are some similarities. Hell it was still quite difficult, and frustrating. Fun, nevertheless.) I have even a higher respect for those who do natural photos. I knew one who did wild photo shooting, and man it sounded like a very tough work which required huge amount of patience. (But the reward is priceless though. Those beautiful pictures of natural shots of animals, scenery, and etc. )

Anyway, I hope that this professional will deliver some great results. (Based on the reviews, he should. Everybody was happy with him.) As this is my first experience of doing online dating, (well any type of dating to be specific, other than speed dating, which I tried once or twice), I can use any help and advantages I can get. (Including the photos, of course.) I suppose what I lack the most are lack of experience and lack of actually getting out there and doing stuff like this. So, I'm content, and I think I'm off to a good start. (Even if I were spending a little more than possibly necessary.)

But a question arises. Is this DMSI's effort in pushing me, and getting me the experiences I need to achieve its goal?

You are a very smart man, getting good quality photos done for your dating profile. Most people don't ever have a clue how much they lose out on because they use crappy imagery. For this purpose, I recommend getting professional work done whenever you change significantly in how you look, or about every 3 to 5 years. In the mean time, you can supplement with an occasional cell phone pic or whatnot for newer stuff.

[sw72hw]

You are a very smart man, getting good quality photos done for your dating profile. Most people don't ever have a clue how much they lose out on because they use crappy imagery. For this purpose, I recommend getting professional work done whenever you change significantly in how you look, or about every 3 to 5 years. In the mean time, you can supplement with an occasional cell phone pic or whatnot for newer stuff.

Thank you Shannon. I also appreciate your suggestion on the profile photos. It makes so much more sense now!

Last night, before going to bed, I felt all happy and blissful. I don't know, but the feeling and imagination was that once I complete the profile, I'd get to meet some great women, and have great time. (Both in and out of bed :p ) The imagination of having great time, feeling her presence, warmth on her skin, giving and receiving pleasures from her was all euphoric.

Right now, I'm a bit concerned, because for some reason, I'm getting all the imaginations which may be stretching a little too far. And when an expectation go too far, it can easily lead to huge disappointments and even despair. So I will need to work on enjoying all this, while not having too high of an expectation. (After all, I'm fresh off the boat when it comes to dating scene. I wouldn't get results that soon. Who know, I may get it, but I'm trying to not have inflated expectations and hope.)

I also wanted to state a possibly negative stuff. For instance, I've been wanting to go out to either museum or to zoo. My sleep schedule has shifted, and the weather has suddenly gotten cold. (It even rained here yesterday.) I can still technically go out, but I've been having difficulty making myself to go out for an extended period of time. (Like going to museum or to a zoo.) I'm wondering if this is a possible resistance. Also, in one part of my mind, I have this thought to go approach random strangers to ask for the time or to ask to take a photo (I had this thought even before eternity suggested). So my sleep schedule shifted, and difficulty going out to the places I want to (I want to go to the places before next semester starts). In a way, hiring the professional may be a result of the resistance.

So then, the stuff I'm doing and being pushed to do is a result of both DMSI's pushing myself to get to the desired goal, and actualization of resistance? Uhhhhhh, I don't know what to say. I think something funny is going on, and my mind is so spinning.

Who knows, it can also be that my having not gone to those places may work out well. (They can be excellent places for date, so my resistance may turn out to be great later on. Saving the juicy stuff to be shared with a great girl! )

[Shannon]

When a man posts professionally done photos on his dating profile, it says to a woman (consciously and/or subconsciously):

This man is important, has good taste and knows what is important. He understands how to present himself well. He is willing to do what it takes to accomplish his goals. He really is serious about getting what he wants in life.

This is a big factor for increasing responses and attraction from women.

You have to do the things that trigger the responses you want. To do that, you must understand how they think and why they do what they do - at least, to some degree.

[SargeMaximus]

When a man posts professionally done photos on his dating profile, it says to a woman (consciously and/or subconsciously):

This man is important, has good taste and knows what is important. He understands how to present himself well. He is willing to do what it takes to accomplish his goals. He really is serious about getting what he wants in life.

This is a big factor for increasing responses and attraction from women.

You have to do the things that trigger the responses you want. To do that, you must understand how they think and why they do what they do - at least, to some degree.

Which means, that you DO have to care what they think, know what they think, and do what they think you should do. (I'm never gonna let up on this)

[Shannon]

When a man posts professionally done photos on his dating profile, it says to a woman (consciously and/or subconsciously):

This man is important, has good taste and knows what is important. He understands how to present himself well. He is willing to do what it takes to accomplish his goals. He really is serious about getting what he wants in life.

This is a big factor for increasing responses and attraction from women.

You have to do the things that trigger the responses you want. To do that, you must understand how they think and why they do what they do - at least, to some degree.

Which means, that you DO have to care what they think, know what they think, and do what they think you should do. (I'm never gonna let up on this)

Ah, but you are wrong.

I could care less what a woman thinks. I do things my way. If a woman doesn't like that, she can deal with it. By being true to myself, I only attract women who want what I represent.

But, if I want to find a date on a dating site, it makes sense to give the best impression of myself to my potential matches, so that I come across as being as high value as possible and thereby attracting the highest value female.

I still don't care what they think. I just want a maximally attractive woman to respond. That is how one accomplishes that goal.

[sw72hw]

Photos... Let's just say that going for the professional can bring out my best self. Since I mentioned that I usually don't look good on the photos, I wanted to hire professionals. (Who should be better at making me look more like myself or look better than any random strangers or friends) Besides, I just wanted to get it done, to start something. Maybe this isn't the best course of action, but I took it, and that was what was important to me. I took a step in doing something, instead of doing nothing, or equivalent to nothing. For that I am quite content and amazed. (This was a wall that I couldn't quite cross in the past, but now I am about to.)

And Sarge, let's think this more like a case of trying to present yourself the best way, (or the truest self) which will likely bring out the best girl or better girl than if I didn't do it. For me, I didn't care about what the girls thought (maybe I did to a some degree), but it was more about okay, what can I do to bring more success? What is the fist thing I can do to take some actions? It was also the case that I got a great deal, and that made a huge difference.

Besides, wasn't it eternity (it could have been you) who said that even if a guy is 10/10, the guy's not going to get a date, if he doesn't take care of himself (i.e. dressing neatly, cleaning himself, and etc.). I'll take that a good photo (i.e. hiring a professional) is to show something about that.

I don't know if I'm making the situation worse here, but I wanted to share the thought since this photo thing seems to be getting more chaotic.

[sw72hw]

Yesterday I heard children sound from the next door (bedroom side). I've never heard children voices before, so I was like WTH is going on?

Today, I spotted a mom, (and what looks like a grand mom) with a couple of toddlers, who can talk. I think that my previous neighbor is moving out and the new one is moving in.

I like children in general, but this raised a little worry/concern. If I am correct (correct that these guys are new guys moving in), I'm wondering if I can bring a girl to my place. I fear that the next door neighbor may complain if a girl I bring makes too much noise while having sex. The previous neighbor didn't seem to have children, and I heard them having sex (or doing some sexual act). Therefore, I really didn't think it was going to be a problem. (They were also late nighters.) Yet, with the new neighbor, I don't know how things are going to go.

This is annoying as there was no logistical issues as I am living alone in my apt, but this now changed entire dynamics. (And now I am surrounded by neighbors who have little children. Living room side has a new born (about a year old now))

I am going far too ahead (as I have yet to get a date), but the thought came. What is a good way to solve this? (I thought about soundproofing by putting sound dampening stuff on the wall, but I'm worried about the removal part. Unless I can return the wall to its form, then it will create some serious consequences when I move out.)