DMSI Journey

[SargeMaximus]

Another girl was giving me more attention lately. She started that behavior about a week ago. But yesterday evening she was throwing me a lot of kiss & heart emoticons, asking me what did I do to her.
Her behavior of today could be because of DMSI, or not.

That girl on day 2. She's acting weird lately again.
I noticed that about 3 days ago but didn't give much thought. Today while listening to DMSI she texted me and sent me like 30 heart emoticons ^^''. I asked her motive she said it's a secret. I know emoticons don't mean a thing but isn't it weird ?
Is it DMSI ? It never happened to me tbh. But I don't even know her well, not even how she looks like. I doubt it's the LDS effects.
Can DMSI affects targets at distance besides the LDS effect ?

Doubtful it's the LDS - it would have to be the most sexually attractive and reproductively suitable female you've EVER met in the WORLD. There are a lot of people on this forum claiming they've met their LDS target - I sincerely doubt that.

Lol.

By definition we HAVE to have met her for it to fit with the phrasing.

You know what I meant, Sarge. Quit being a pri*ck.

I'm saying that people are like, "She's my LDS!" I'm 37. My LDS could live in fuckin' Germany for all I know. It'd be awhile before she's back in my life.

Woah, chill. I actually didn't know what you meant.

I've met my own personal perfect 10 woman. Hotter than anyone I've ever seen. I met her years ago.

From what I understand in the wording, the LDS is someone we must have met in real life AT SOME POINT. Therefore, the woman I met is definitely my LDS. Haven't seen her yet though.

[DarkPlouf]

But you going to her "what are you doing? whats your intent?' that is weird.. to her. Instead of just being playful with it.

I was quite playful and I was teasing her too. I just don't want to show the content of the message here.

[DarkPlouf]

I woke up not feeling good today. Something is bothering me and I don't know what exactly.
And I feel like I can lose my temper in a second.

[DarkPlouf]

I don't like how the good feelings I get under DMSI fade so quickly :'(.
As I said:

If I feel like that everyday then I'll probably stick with DMSI lol. I don't care about getting IOIs or women or whatever I just like that peaceful feeling of being "enough".

But today again I feel like crap. I wonder if Attract Positive Energy can help me maintain that mindset.
That's just what I'm after right now.

[DarkPlouf]

Oh but I noticed something really interesting about Z !!!
Today I could think about her and run films in my head about her, but I wasn't feeling any grief, shame or any other negative feeling. I was quite "neutral" about it, it surprised me.

[DarkPlouf]

I woke up really, really tired today. Hungry with no energy too.
Ironically I'm so lazy now to get up and cook something...Or is it because I am low of energy ?
This is tiring...

[DarkPlouf]

Day 24.
2 loops hybrid track.

Felt euphoria while listening to DMSI.
Today I was around women a lot. Didn't notice any IOI to be honest. Tho there was this woman in the train that was staring at me a lot. But not in a sexual way. I felt she was curious or intrigued. When I looked at her she looked away then resumed staring at me again. Again it wasn't in a sexual way so I don't think it was DMSI. She was more like "Hu, what's with this guy ??".

Today I got aware of one of my fear: I'm afraid of women of another "breed" than me. Or rather, I'd say I'm not afraid anymore of women of my own breed. That's why I notice how intimidating those others women are now.

I'm stopping listening to DMSI today. I have shit that need to be done, NOW. August will be hard for me if I continue DMSI. DMSI is making me procrastinate as fuck. And I'm tired of feeling crap and tired all the the time.

So, after 24 days of DMSI here's what I noticed:
-Slight increase in self-esteem, self-confidenc, ect. Well I felt the goal #2. It's subtle but at least I got something.
-Huge boost in how I perceive my look. I feel very handsome most of the time.
-My stuttering decreased. I had a light to middle stuttering. It's not bothersome tho, but in those 25 days I noticed I'm more fluent. I guess DMSI helped.
-Didn't feel goal #1 and #3.
-My life became a mess because of all the tiredness, low energy, procrastinating and depression that DMSI induced. And I even lost weight. I was already skinny before DMSI but now it's pretty bad.
-Less afraid of women of my own breed. When I think of approaching them for instance I don't feel anxious or shy.
-I appreciated the "I don't care attitude" and the euphoria that I sometimes got under DMSI. Sadly they never last long
-Lost interest in women
-Decrease of my libido

The next time I listen to DMSI for the cleaning I'll make sure I have at least 3 months free of duties and work.

So starting from today I'm going to listen to Ultra Motivation. And I'll add Attract Positive Energy in a few days too. I really need some motivation for August or else I'll fuck up with my life. And I hope APE will help me overcome my depression. I wanted to listen to OF in the first place but I've work that need to be done.

[Bookstacks DC737]

By breed you mean women who share different viewpoints, experiences and ways of living right? I experienced the same thing. Aura was great with women who I felt intuitively that I "knew," weak with other women.

[DarkPlouf]

I meant ethnicity. Sorry I couldn't find the right translation.

[DarkPlouf]

Forgot those points:
-I appreciated the "I don't care attitude" and the euphoria that I sometimes got under DMSI. Sadly they never last long
-Lost interest in women
-Decrease of my libido

[DarkPlouf]

Initially I wanted to run ASC for September (and more depending on the results) but figured I should just run DMSI since goal #2 enhance much more than just self-confidence, and I wanted to get some of the DGAF attitude again.
I finished my important work for August so September is safe to mess arroung. Unless something unusual comes up.

The past 4 days I was really mindfull of my mental, physical states and emotional well being. Because I wanted to know how the sub I'd run for September would change me.
During these 4 days I was more or less normal. Enjoying my daily routine without much complaints. I wasn't excessively happy, but I wasn't sad at all nor depressed.

So, today I ran DMSI 3.1 A. I wanted to only run 2 loops but the media player I downloaded recently sucks so fucking much and I only realized it when I woke up. I have a playlist of 2 tracks of DMSI, but the player looped throught them the whole night, even tho the "loop" option was off. -_-""

So, first blatant effect of the sub on me: I woke up at 3PM. I slept at 1AM so I just slept for 14 hours.
But I remember I slightly woke up at 12AM, feeling tired and feeling like shit to be alone. I was too low of energy to woke up totally so I just drifted to sleep until 3PM.

Now at 3PM I don't feel as much tired, and my motivation is somewhat normal, but my mood is low. Seems like a low to middle depression. Nothing seems enjoyable and life is favorless.

Tonight I'll make sure to only run 2 loops as I plan to stick to that amount until the end of September.

[DarkPlouf]

Just pasting my post on Shannon's journal.

Shannon, does DMSI induces a shielding from emotional pain ?
While listening to the loops I keep getting negative thoughts of my past, how I fucked up and all, but they aren't painful. It's like I know they are supposed to hurt me but I'm somehow immune to the pain.
It happend too on my first run on DMSI. I was able to recall my cringy past with a neutral mindset, without being too much hurt. But now I'm not even hurt at all. It's like I'm just someone else observing the thoughts.

It may be time...As time heals wounds. But if DMSI has a shield from emotional pain it may be that too.

[DarkPlouf]

Seems like I do not resist with 2 loops of the ultrasonic version =).
And I listen to it while sleeping. On my first run I was mainly listening to DMSI awake, using the hybrid version.
It's maybe too soon to tell but I don't seem to get much "conscious" effects. I mean, on first run I could react to the sub right away (euphoria, idgaf attitude, depression, crying) but it doesn't seem the case now since I listen to it while sleeping, and the ultrasonic version doesn't seem to make my subconscious build walls.

Ultrasonic + listening at night may be my sweet spot. The firt day I clearly overdid it by listening to it for more than 8 hours, hence the tiredness and loss of energy.

[DarkPlouf]

Fuck yeah. No resistance today again .

And it's not like the sub isn't working.
Firstly yesterday before sleeping I went into a fight on a forum. I called out someone's bullshit and I was really harsh...Lol poor guy. I was extremelly irritated for nothing.
That's something realy unusual from my thinking pattern as I try to be at best the Zen guy. I prefer to shut up than cause issues. Idk if my sudden anger was due to something being clearing in me...

Then, last night I dreamed a lot. No in fact I just could remember that I dreamed a lot. Most of the dreams were about the past. I dreamed about girls I met in high school.
I was even close to enter a lucid dream. There was a very vivid music in one of my dreams, that really moved me some years ago when I listened to it for the first time. Uppon hearing it in my dream it sorts of triggered my lucidity. And I was drifting into sleep paralysis.
Unfortunately I react too soon and got kicked out of the dream.

Well so far, everything is good. US seems to be the Key for me.
So now I guess I can stop worrying about resistance, just run that damn sub and enjoy life, and the results moke:moke:.