12-15-2018, 08:37 AM
(12-15-2018, 07:42 AM)mat422 Wrote: Hey man, I don't want to sound rude here but what's your intention with dmsi? You're married and I'm guessing your wife isn't into the open relationship thing? So it just seems kind of like torture tempting yourself with all dmsi is trying to accomplish. The goal of dmsi being to get women to seduce and have sex with you. If you're not going all the way with the sex part I could see how that would manifest as turbulence responding to the instructions in the sub.
No worries. I've answered that question more than once before, but those reasons have either changed a bit or been met (or are being met).
At first, I just wanted to feel validated by women - and I felt that need/want could be healed by running DMSI. More or less, it has dissipated.
Then, being a high sex drive person (and sex being a big part of my love language), I was dissatisfied enough with my marital sex life that it was "fix it or sleep around." And I told my wife that a long time ago, that if things didn't change I wouldn't be faithful. She would just shrug me off. Now, that's different. She's much more open to quickies, more submissive to me, and no longer turns me down for sex. She's even fulfilled the DMSI goal of asking me for sex - which is something that I can say happened once in 7 years before DMSI. It's now happened multiple times, and I have the feeling that is going to be ramping up even more now w/ FRM.
Finally there's the whole thing w/ my SIL. The attraction there, to me, was something I felt needed addressing...Either healing something in me that was looking for fulfillment through her, improving things with my wife to address that, or getting things to the point with SIL that we have hash it out so that there's not this giant, attractive elephant in the room for both us. The attraction on her side to me was there before DMSI. I was hoping DMSI would give her the push to come to me and force a scenario that would give me closure. That's a topic I would never initiate with her - I just don't see that turning out well for either of us if I open that talk from my end. I could be wrong, but whatever. To me, it's endure the elephant, hope it fades, or confront it if & when she makes the first move in that direction.
All the other benefits DMSI has provided has been so worth it, as well. When not going through H&C/emotional upheaval, I feel really alive. The celebrity effect, the drive to take care of my body, the push to get out of the house and go "do stuff" that in the past I would have chosen the couch over...the list goes on. I also like feeling like I have "choice." Having the options available, and then consciously choosing to be where I am, gives me a feeling of empowerment - instead of feeling like I am where I am b/c I'm just stuck here. I feel that much more gratitude for all the prior decisions I've made to get where I am, for the people I have in my life, and the life I am living. If that makes sense...
