DMSI 3.1

[JakeKennedy]

Day 26 - GF prepared a delicious dinner for me this evening. Steak, sauteed​ vegetables, and sweet potatoes. Then a smoothie for desert. Allie came up behind me earlier in the day, gave me a shoulder rub for a few seconds then we chatted/flirted for a few minutes. Nothing noteworthy there but very enjoyable.

I have been back to reading fiction lately. "Tarzan Alive" by Philip Jose Farmer. Just finished "Venus on the half shell" also by Farmer. Whenever I read fiction however I feel guilty. Even though I read 80% nonfiction educational in nature I still get the sense I'm wasting time reading fiction.

Where do you think that belief stems from?

Do you listen to music?

... Do you listen to music with lyrics that are only true stories? If not, do you feel guilty about that?

I think it stems from my upbringing. My parents were obsessed about being productive and not wasting time. My brother and I were even made to feel guilty if we slept past 8 am on the weekends even when we were in grade school. There style was largely effective as I always had straight A's through school. Started varsity sports as a freshman in highschool, have a professional​ degree that has allowed me to become very comfortable financially.

I do listen to music. I like everything from Rob Zombie and Metallica to Dre and Snoop to Blake Shelton. But I have to admit I mainly listen audiobooks or medical webinars. Obviously the music isn't all true stories and some of the greatest lessons are taught through fiction i.e. Joseph Campbell. But if I listen to an hour of music or read something with no literary value I can't help looking back think the time could have been better utilized.

I'm trying to transition from a mindset that favors productivity to one in which I emphasize the things in life which I would find most important if I envision myself as an old man on my death bed thinking back about life. These things are not fiction or nonfiction or material things but rather people and experience. I'm nowhere near actually living this ideal everyday but I'm on the journey to get there.