12-15-2016, 09:17 PM
Day 14
Currently listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sGaLNMKwjo
I'm on my last night of B, before I take a day off and switch back to A for another week. I posted a lot about my general overall experiences of being on B on several others journals. So I'll use this post to write about the other experiences from this week.
On Sunday night after I finished my loops, I couldn't sleep so I ended up taking a walk. I left my place around 1:30AM and some how I found myself a half hour later walking by another girls place I know. One of the women from my own social circle. I call her, wake her up from her sleep, and tell her I'm coming up.
I get inside her place and she asks me the usual questions that any sane person would ask when someone they know shows up at their place at 2AM. The first of course being, were you drinking and are you drunk?
Anyway, a few minutes into our conversation I pull her close to me and we end up having sex. I spend the night at her place, get a few hours of sleep, and then head back to my place in the morning to change and head to work.
Monday night I end up at one of my favorite bars downtown, had drinks with a few friends, felt pretty good. I don't really drink that often these days, and when I do, it's usually one or two beers.
A friend came with his girlfriend, and as the night progressed, I could tell that there was a connection forming between her and I. I guess my friend could sense it too. I was very careful about drawing some very hard lines and my interactions with her dictated that.
Even still, as we all left the bar, I walked ahead and I found her walking next to me. My friend walked behind us with another buddy of ours.
I didn't say anything to her the entire time we walked. I got home around 11 and was in bed by 11:30. I managed to get a full 8 hours of sleep, and yet I was still exhausted all day Tuesday.
I took Wednesday off from work for a mental health day. That gave me a chance to take care of some personal tasks and I was really caught up with that. I didn't really converse with many people. I lived in my own head for most of the day.
Last night I had a really strong dream which involved my mother. She passed away 16 years ago, and the dream last night was similar to the ones I had of her around the time she passed. I had to force myself awake because I was drowning in emotional quicksand.
That left me feeling melancholy today. It was a nice melancholy.
I've found that with Ver. 3 I allow myself to feel things more. I allow myself to feel the really good and also the really bad. I don't try to mask my emotions anymore.
I'm also really looking forward to my week of A. The feelings of B brought up a lot of emotions over the course of the week. I had resistance headaches for two days straight (Tuesday and Wednesday). Which may also be why I feel as melancholy as I do today.
Or maybe it's just the season in NYC.
Currently listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sGaLNMKwjo
I'm on my last night of B, before I take a day off and switch back to A for another week. I posted a lot about my general overall experiences of being on B on several others journals. So I'll use this post to write about the other experiences from this week.
On Sunday night after I finished my loops, I couldn't sleep so I ended up taking a walk. I left my place around 1:30AM and some how I found myself a half hour later walking by another girls place I know. One of the women from my own social circle. I call her, wake her up from her sleep, and tell her I'm coming up.
I get inside her place and she asks me the usual questions that any sane person would ask when someone they know shows up at their place at 2AM. The first of course being, were you drinking and are you drunk?
Anyway, a few minutes into our conversation I pull her close to me and we end up having sex. I spend the night at her place, get a few hours of sleep, and then head back to my place in the morning to change and head to work.
Monday night I end up at one of my favorite bars downtown, had drinks with a few friends, felt pretty good. I don't really drink that often these days, and when I do, it's usually one or two beers.
A friend came with his girlfriend, and as the night progressed, I could tell that there was a connection forming between her and I. I guess my friend could sense it too. I was very careful about drawing some very hard lines and my interactions with her dictated that.
Even still, as we all left the bar, I walked ahead and I found her walking next to me. My friend walked behind us with another buddy of ours.
I didn't say anything to her the entire time we walked. I got home around 11 and was in bed by 11:30. I managed to get a full 8 hours of sleep, and yet I was still exhausted all day Tuesday.
I took Wednesday off from work for a mental health day. That gave me a chance to take care of some personal tasks and I was really caught up with that. I didn't really converse with many people. I lived in my own head for most of the day.
Last night I had a really strong dream which involved my mother. She passed away 16 years ago, and the dream last night was similar to the ones I had of her around the time she passed. I had to force myself awake because I was drowning in emotional quicksand.
That left me feeling melancholy today. It was a nice melancholy.
I've found that with Ver. 3 I allow myself to feel things more. I allow myself to feel the really good and also the really bad. I don't try to mask my emotions anymore.
I'm also really looking forward to my week of A. The feelings of B brought up a lot of emotions over the course of the week. I had resistance headaches for two days straight (Tuesday and Wednesday). Which may also be why I feel as melancholy as I do today.
Or maybe it's just the season in NYC.
