11-22-2012, 02:59 PM
Day 13 ->I didn't sleep well due to physical pain. I did feel relaxed and good until the parcel delivery came. He said something to me and I felt "small" and tried to defend myself, I felt myself a little child that got a correction for something she haven't done. I felt stupid that felt into defending myself because I was not frustrated he was.
and when I wrote this I remind my self an exact situation with a teacher on my primary school. Wow that's weird..... She punished me for something for I still guessing what it was.
It made me feel insecure and fearful because who can I trust? When I think a bit deeper I
remember that my experiences as a child with adults are not the best and the experience
created within me "a walking on eggshells" feeling and created a lot of insecurity.
It always reminds me of how much fear I have for rejection.
Day 14->Didn't sleep well, bad mood, emotional sensitive today, cried several times, back pain.
This evening I remembered that today it was the day that a special person died several years ago.
Maybe these emotions where unconcious in my mind?
and when I wrote this I remind my self an exact situation with a teacher on my primary school. Wow that's weird..... She punished me for something for I still guessing what it was.
It made me feel insecure and fearful because who can I trust? When I think a bit deeper I
remember that my experiences as a child with adults are not the best and the experience
created within me "a walking on eggshells" feeling and created a lot of insecurity.
It always reminds me of how much fear I have for rejection.
Day 14->Didn't sleep well, bad mood, emotional sensitive today, cried several times, back pain.
This evening I remembered that today it was the day that a special person died several years ago.
Maybe these emotions where unconcious in my mind?
