Day 1:
I got my speakers tested and running a couple of nights ago so I could use them while I sleep. The first night was interesting, with a really vivid dream. I need to get better at recalling dreams when I wake up, but this is what I remember:
I was in some sort of gym, or large room. I’d somehow managed to be up high in the room, like sitting inside of a basket with a rope or chain hanging down to the ground. Into the room comes running two naked laughing women. I recognized one of them as the bartender at a neighborhood bar I go to once or twice a week (more about her later). She smiles at me and just stands there. I can really see her good :angel:. The other girl runs off, and I didn't get a good look at her face. So I’m looking down at the girl I know, and this other guy comes into the room. He looks at me, and starts yelling something. He is angry, and challenging me. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it pissed me off. I mean, no one talks to me like that in real life these days. I felt like coming down from the hanging basket and whooping his ass (To be fair, if someone was hanging from a basket in a gym looking at a naked chick, I’d yell at him to.
). Anyway, my memory of the dream ends there.
Went into work yesterday. I work in a downtown area of a big city, and ride a commuter train. I felt unusually confident for the whole day, and very happy. I think it is probably my anticipation of finally dealing with the rest of my issues, and it put a smile on my face. I noticed a few extremely attractive and single women on the elevator ride up to my floor. They are younger than me (likely early to mid 20’s), which always puts a feeling of guilt into my head. So young and beautiful, who am I to be able to have someone like that? Feelings of guilt and shame, perhaps.
In the evening, I went to visit the bar I like to go once or twice a week (remember the bartender from the dream?). One of the other bartenders was having her 21st birthday party, and I had promised her I’d show up. Lots of hugs from the women staff, and respectful greetings from the men that frequent the place. I sat next to another guy whom I talked to for a long while. I found out we share a lot of things in common. Divorce, kids, good jobs, but lack of women in our lives. It was nice to talk with someone that really understands. After a hour or so, the bartender from the dream (let’s call her BT1) brings her mom by to say hi. Her mom is standing behind me while I am sitting on the bar stool, and pressing against me with her shoulders. Then she starts this rubbing up and down motion as she stands there talking to the guy seated next to me, and her hot daughter (BT1). It was incontrovertibly sexual. I was in awe – that sh*t just doesn't happen to me. Seems a bit early for me to say the subs had anything to do with that, but maybe the extra confidence I exuded gave off a sexual vibe the older women picked up on? Was a little awkward, but I enjoyed the moment.
Overall, it was a good first day. Lots to reflect upon and look forward to.
I got my speakers tested and running a couple of nights ago so I could use them while I sleep. The first night was interesting, with a really vivid dream. I need to get better at recalling dreams when I wake up, but this is what I remember:
I was in some sort of gym, or large room. I’d somehow managed to be up high in the room, like sitting inside of a basket with a rope or chain hanging down to the ground. Into the room comes running two naked laughing women. I recognized one of them as the bartender at a neighborhood bar I go to once or twice a week (more about her later). She smiles at me and just stands there. I can really see her good :angel:. The other girl runs off, and I didn't get a good look at her face. So I’m looking down at the girl I know, and this other guy comes into the room. He looks at me, and starts yelling something. He is angry, and challenging me. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it pissed me off. I mean, no one talks to me like that in real life these days. I felt like coming down from the hanging basket and whooping his ass (To be fair, if someone was hanging from a basket in a gym looking at a naked chick, I’d yell at him to.
). Anyway, my memory of the dream ends there. Went into work yesterday. I work in a downtown area of a big city, and ride a commuter train. I felt unusually confident for the whole day, and very happy. I think it is probably my anticipation of finally dealing with the rest of my issues, and it put a smile on my face. I noticed a few extremely attractive and single women on the elevator ride up to my floor. They are younger than me (likely early to mid 20’s), which always puts a feeling of guilt into my head. So young and beautiful, who am I to be able to have someone like that? Feelings of guilt and shame, perhaps.
In the evening, I went to visit the bar I like to go once or twice a week (remember the bartender from the dream?). One of the other bartenders was having her 21st birthday party, and I had promised her I’d show up. Lots of hugs from the women staff, and respectful greetings from the men that frequent the place. I sat next to another guy whom I talked to for a long while. I found out we share a lot of things in common. Divorce, kids, good jobs, but lack of women in our lives. It was nice to talk with someone that really understands. After a hour or so, the bartender from the dream (let’s call her BT1) brings her mom by to say hi. Her mom is standing behind me while I am sitting on the bar stool, and pressing against me with her shoulders. Then she starts this rubbing up and down motion as she stands there talking to the guy seated next to me, and her hot daughter (BT1). It was incontrovertibly sexual. I was in awe – that sh*t just doesn't happen to me. Seems a bit early for me to say the subs had anything to do with that, but maybe the extra confidence I exuded gave off a sexual vibe the older women picked up on? Was a little awkward, but I enjoyed the moment.
Overall, it was a good first day. Lots to reflect upon and look forward to.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
