Chopp's Search for a Perfect Storm of Pleasure - AM6 Journey

[Chopp]

I've been debating with myself on whether I would journal my AM6 journey online, or if I would do it in private. I have found the existing journals so helpful that I decided to make it public - through the good and the bad - for all to see.

First, a short introduction. You can call me Chopp, and this is my first subliminal package of any sort. After reading through many of the journals, I felt I was ready to just right in.

I will be 38 years old next week. I was married for 11 years. I've been divorced for 2 years, and I was separated for a year and a half on top of that. During that time I have not had sex. My divorce was hard (I have two small children), but I have used the years since to concentrate on improving myself in every way that I can. I learned NLP, EFT tapping, body language signals, and have read scores of communication books. My career has improved significantly during this time, which resulted in a recent promotion.

Experience shows that with the right tools for making change, anything is possible; that is why I am here. Even with the successes I have made in socializing and career, I am still not having the success I want with women. I know it is because of some deeply embedded beliefs, which I intend to rip out by the roots with this series. I plan on doing the AM6 series, and then moving into WM if I feel the time is right at the end. Otherwise, I will redo AM6 until I feel I am ready.

Forward and onward...

[SargeMaximus]

Welcome to the forum. For women, I suggest looking up the "Black Dragon Blog". The guy was married as any typical guy and then got divorced. After the divorce, he used his frustrations to "figure out" women. Basically he just provides a good guideline when it comes to mentality regarding women. I've found it useful so I recommend it whenever I can.

[Chopp]

Welcome to the forum. For women, I suggest looking up the "Black Dragon Blog". The guy was married as any typical guy and then got divorced. After the divorce, he used his frustrations to "figure out" women. Basically he just provides a good guideline when it comes to mentality regarding women. I've found it useful so I recommend it whenever I can.

Thanks for the blog info, Sarge; I will look it up. I've read some books from Scott McKay, which I could relate to. So many guys get stuck in this position for life, and I refuse to be one of them.

[Chopp]

Day 1:

I got my speakers tested and running a couple of nights ago so I could use them while I sleep. The first night was interesting, with a really vivid dream. I need to get better at recalling dreams when I wake up, but this is what I remember:

I was in some sort of gym, or large room. I’d somehow managed to be up high in the room, like sitting inside of a basket with a rope or chain hanging down to the ground. Into the room comes running two naked laughing women. I recognized one of them as the bartender at a neighborhood bar I go to once or twice a week (more about her later). She smiles at me and just stands there. I can really see her good :angel:. The other girl runs off, and I didn't get a good look at her face. So I’m looking down at the girl I know, and this other guy comes into the room. He looks at me, and starts yelling something. He is angry, and challenging me. I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it pissed me off. I mean, no one talks to me like that in real life these days. I felt like coming down from the hanging basket and whooping his ass (To be fair, if someone was hanging from a basket in a gym looking at a naked chick, I’d yell at him to. ). Anyway, my memory of the dream ends there.

Went into work yesterday. I work in a downtown area of a big city, and ride a commuter train. I felt unusually confident for the whole day, and very happy. I think it is probably my anticipation of finally dealing with the rest of my issues, and it put a smile on my face. I noticed a few extremely attractive and single women on the elevator ride up to my floor. They are younger than me (likely early to mid 20’s), which always puts a feeling of guilt into my head. So young and beautiful, who am I to be able to have someone like that? Feelings of guilt and shame, perhaps.

In the evening, I went to visit the bar I like to go once or twice a week (remember the bartender from the dream?). One of the other bartenders was having her 21st birthday party, and I had promised her I’d show up. Lots of hugs from the women staff, and respectful greetings from the men that frequent the place. I sat next to another guy whom I talked to for a long while. I found out we share a lot of things in common. Divorce, kids, good jobs, but lack of women in our lives. It was nice to talk with someone that really understands. After a hour or so, the bartender from the dream (let’s call her BT1) brings her mom by to say hi. Her mom is standing behind me while I am sitting on the bar stool, and pressing against me with her shoulders. Then she starts this rubbing up and down motion as she stands there talking to the guy seated next to me, and her hot daughter (BT1). It was incontrovertibly sexual. I was in awe – that sh*t just doesn't happen to me. Seems a bit early for me to say the subs had anything to do with that, but maybe the extra confidence I exuded gave off a sexual vibe the older women picked up on? Was a little awkward, but I enjoyed the moment.

Overall, it was a good first day. Lots to reflect upon and look forward to.

[Ricardo]

Welcome to the forum Chopp Thanks for keeping a journal. It's only by users keeping journals can we make informed decisions on what to buy and more importantly if and how the sub works.

[Chopp]

Stage 1 – Day 3
Challenging the status-quo is how I would describe my feelings so far. I haven’t been happy with some areas of my life for a long time now, and I have this nagging need to do something about it. I’ve taken the day off work to address some of these. I feel fortunate to be able to do that.

Tiredness. I have read about it many times from those who have traveled this road ahead of me, and I’m getting my first taste of it. I feel rested, yet drained, even as I have added an extra hour to my normal sleep to compensate. I’ve been tracking about 12 hours of listening time per day, and I don’t think that is too much. I will let the mental battles rage on inside me, and push through the tiredness.

Dreams. Alligators? That’s a first for me. I had to rescue an old lady while she slept next to a swamp of gators. Good grief… where does my mind come up with this stuff?

Before I get too far into this, it occurred to me that it would be helpful to track my process in a more quantitative way; at least as much as possible. I’ve taken the list of areas that AM6 concentrates on, consolidated it some, and rated myself on a scale of 1-10. Additionally, I have added some personal goals to the list to see if I improve those areas as a result. I will update the numbers at the end of each stage as a way to track my process.

Pre-Stage 1
Note: contains personal goals as well as abbreviated AM6 goals.

• Self-respect / self-worth / self-esteem: 6
  
• Positive attitude (no negative self talk): 4
  
• Self-confidence: 7
  
• Unaffected by rejection: 4
  
• Enjoy company of women: 6
  
• Taking care of appearance: 9
  
• Effortlessly approach women: 2
  
• Selective of who I spend time with: 8
  
• Aura of confidence, commanding presence and authority: 7
  
• Graceful, confident body language: 6
  
• Remaining calm, with self-control, when others are losing it: 7
  
• Display the attitude, thinking, actions and speech patterns of an Alpha Male: 6
  
• No longer seek approval from others: 7
  
• Be in control when dealing with women, and especially beautiful women: 4
  
• Be entirely unconcerned about “getting the girl”: 5
  
• Be easily able and willing to walk away from people / situations you don’t like: 8
  
• Be in complete control of yourself and your environment: 7
  
• Display a fantastic sense of humor: 4
  
• Be entirely comfortable in social situations of any type: 8
  
• Finish projects around the home, without feeling overwhelmed: 4
  

[Chopp]

Stage 1 - Day 8:

I've been extra tired the last few days, although I feel energized today. The good news is that there seems to be some self-forgiveness going on, and I'm finding it easier to stay positive about my situation. I'm going to report back in about once a week, just to keep a record for myself on my progress, unless something big happens. Smooth sailing so far...

[Chopp]

Stage 1 Day 16

One thing I've noticed is that my dreams are much more intense when I sleep with the masked vs the ultrasonic. I know the ultrasonic works with my speakers, because I can see it with a frequency tester. Regardless, I'm going to stick with the masked tracks for the rest of the sub.

I'm feeling a lot of frustration and some resentment these days. Just seeing happy couples seems to piss me off. After reading about pstec, I picked up some of the tools to see how they work. I'm been happy with the results so far, but I'm hesitant to clear everything, fearing that it might interfere with the natural progression of AM6.

Speaking of frustration, I'm just going to lay them out here. Maybe some of you can knock some sense into me...

1. I live in a suburb area outside of a large city, and I could go weeks without seeing a single female (especially attractive) around here. That is understandable, since these communities are full of married couples with kids. I can't move because of my kids' school, plus I want to be close to them when they are with their mom. It would be nice to live somewhere where I could just walk out the door and be around other people. As it is, the only bars within miles are full of men and married women.

2. I tried Tinder for a couple of weeks, and got zero freaking hits. Wtf. Is that normal near a big city?

3. Am I totally invisible to women, or are they intimidated by me? I'm 6'2" and 175lbs, and fairly fit. I pay attention to my body language, and try to smile at women, but the only response I get is looking at the floor, or perhaps a very subtle smile and then they look down. They never even try to hold eye contact. That is hard to read, and is frustrating when it has happened year after year...

I'm willing to make changes and take risks, and I'm hoping this sub will point me in the right direction. As of right now, I can really feel the effects of years of being alone.

[adam225]

How loud do you have the volume whilst sleeping ? I sleep with headphones using the ultrasonic track and have some of the fvcked up dreams ever.... I guess it's all down to the person though.

Which masked track do you prefer ?

[Chopp]

How loud do you have the volume whilst sleeping ? I sleep with headphones using the ultrasonic track and have some of the fvcked up dreams ever.... I guess it's all down to the person though.

Which masked track do you prefer ?

I had the ultrasonic set to the same volume as the masked is now, which is as loud as I can make it and still sleep. I set up a couple of speakers on each side of my bed, at about the same distance to my head. I've been sleeping to the trickling stream track, as I prefer a more steady sound as opposed to the constant change of the waves.

[Chopp]

Stage 1 Day 30

Less procrastination. I painted a few rooms in my house which have needed it for a long time. I feel the need to improve some things around my house that I have been putting off. This is a good thing.

Libido is nearly totally dead at this point. So is my willingness to be social. Before starting AM6 I felt like going out some after work, now I don't feel like it at all. Actually, I feel pretty disgusted with other people and I feel like I want isolation. I am looking forward to overcoming this, because being alone sucks.

[Chopp]

Stage 1 Day 32

I started Stage 1 on the night of October 14th, so tonight I switch over to Stage 2. I think that is right?

I've had changes in Stage 1, but they are different than I expected. I am less social at the moment, and I've stopped visiting my favorite bar, which I was doing a couple of nights a week. I've started to see the people there in a new light, and I don't want to be around them at the moment.

Procrastination is much lower, and I am having a hard time sitting still when I'm at home. I've started painting the rooms in my house, and I'm planning on redoing my floor next, both of which are huge projects. I felt overwhelmed with the task before, but that has been replaced with a feeling of "I MUST DO THIS NOW."

I've had more interactions with women before I stopped visiting my bar, but nothing really worth reporting on in detail. I may try online dating again if I feel like it during Stage 2. I've had a couple of women at work approach me out of nowhere and start chatting, which is new. I have no interest in pursuing them, because being co-workers it could risk my career.

I have more stories, but I'm not really in the mood to type them all out. I'm really looking forward to Stage 2, even though I am trying to avoid anticipating what changes may come to pass.

Post Stage 1 Self Appraisal:
Self-respect / self-worth / self-esteem: 7 (+1)
Positive attitude (no negative self talk): 6 (+2)
Self-confidence: 7 (+/-0)
Unaffected by rejection: 4 (+/-0)
Enjoy company of women: 5 (-1)
Taking care of appearance: 9 (+/-0)
Effortlessly approach women: 2 (+/-0)
Selective of who I spend time with: 9 (+1) (I may have overstated this, looking back)
Aura of confidence, commanding presence and authority: 7 (+/-0)
Graceful, confident body language: 6 (+/-0)
Remaining calm, with self-control, when others are losing it: 6 (-1)
Display the attitude, thinking, actions and speech patterns of an Alpha Male: 6
No longer seek approval from others: 8 (+1)
Be in control when dealing with women, and especially beautiful women: 4 (+/-0)
Be entirely unconcerned about “getting the girl”: 5 (+/-0)
Be easily able and willing to walk away from people / situations you don’t like: 8 (+/-0)
Be in complete control of yourself and your environment: 7 (+/-0)
Display a fantastic sense of humor: 4 (+/-0)
Be entirely comfortable in social situations of any type: 7 (-1)
Finish projects around the home, without feeling overwhelmed: 7 (+3)

[Chopp]

If stage 1 was a daisy in the field, Stage 2 is a f---ing Manicoré. The changes are coming fast and hard now. I’ve had women literally stare at me in awe. I’ve had a female VP at my work hit on me multiple times in the past week. I've had comments from the women I know in their 20s like the following:

Girl: Chopp <insert real name>, something is different about you.
Me: Is that good or bad?
Girl: I haven't decided yet, but it is interesting. What’s going on?

And tonight at a bar:
A woman in her late 50s or later was hitting on friend of mine (who is 29) – but way out of line. She was squeezing her hands on his legs and back, and he was obviously uncomfortable. He was too p---y to put a stop to her drunken aggression - so I did. She walked up to me and put her hands on me, and I said "Excuse me. Who exactly are you and why are your hands on me?". After a while she literally had tears in her eyes talking to me - out of unadulterated awe. I know this because she said it, and I saw the tears in her eyes. Most people can't handle my responses now. They just look weak to me, while I feel powerful and in control. Stage 2 is rocking.

Remember the bartender girl from my dream in Stage 1? I have no interest in her anymore, and it is strongly apparent to her. She isn’t used to men not being attracted to her. Tonight she was sitting next to me at the bar, and said a few things that pissed me off. I responded matter-of-factly, telling her exactly how I felt. It hurt her. She was literally angry at my response. I was cold as steal, and it is hitting the people I know hard. They know something is up with me. What a ride this sub is – and I’m only in Stage 2.

Nothing else has EVER had this kind of effect on me. This post can’t even begin to describe all that has happened in the last week, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. This sub us for real. I’m 100% convinced.