Childhood feelings with women: seeking possible solutions

[findingme]

I have been using E2 again for emotional reasons, and I'm seeking some guidance.

I've been divorced 3 years, and I've dated or sought out noone at all. I am seeing I've been a relational anorexic with women, and that is my focus here. I work with men, I don't make much money, but since I grew up with brothers, it's much more enjoyable.

I used E2 for 4 months straight, I've used other situational subs (organizing, procrastination, etc), but the issue of fear of women has been rising again, and it's associated with a fear of failing--leading to a fear of trying.

I've considered DMSI due to the clearings, yet I've not felt confident at all since its focus is sex, not relationships.

I will share here honestly to clarify my conflict. With my wife, I'd regularly revert to feeling like a kid when with her sexually, and it locked me up emotionally. I'd perform, but I detested the feeling of being with "mom". My own mom didn't do sexual abuse, but was heavily into emotional incest. Another story that is, but it's affected all relationships with women, like they "could be mom". I picked up E2 to heal it, and it's helped me--though I'm still "performing" around all females. Like I'm on stage, feeling like a small child. So, I regularly keep away from females due to that, even peers. It's psychologically and emotionally conflicting. I resort to thinking and acting helpless, playing a victim, or playing "roles", and shame and embarrassment follow. I don't pursue women due to that. Sh**, I admitted it!

I just read up on Ultimate Detox, it has emotional and mental focuses, and since it uses a similar base (US, LM, etc.), plus it's run in much shorter session lengths. I'm considering UD for the clearings, and I'd like some input on this.

Am I overlooking something obvious? (Would DMSI help???)

Just sharing I'm not sure which way to go. Thanks for hearing me out.

[RTBoss]

I have been using E2 again for emotional reasons, and I'm seeking some guidance.

I've been divorced 3 years, and I've dated or sought out noone at all. I am seeing I've been a relational anorexic with women, and that is my focus here. I work with men, I don't make much money, but since I grew up with brothers, so it's much more enjoyable.

I used E2 for 4 months straight, I've used other situational subs (organizing, procrastination, etc), but the issue of fear of women has been rising again, and it's associated with a fear of failing--leading to a fear of trying.

I've considered DMSI due to the clearings, yet I've not felt confident at all since its focus is sex, not relationships.

I will share here honestly to clarify my conflict. With my wife, I'd regularly revert to a kid when with her sexually, and it locked me up emotionally. I'd perform, but I detested the feeling of being with "mom". My own mom didn't do sexual abuse, but was heavily into emotional incest. Another story that is, but it's affected all relationships with women, like they "could be mom". I picked up E2 to heal it, and it's helped me--though I'm still "performing" around all females. Like I'm on stage, feeling like a small child. So, I regularly keep away from females due to that, even peers. It's psychologically and emotionally conflicting. I resort to thinking and acting helpless, playing a victim or playing "roles", and shame and embarrassment follow. I don't pursue women due to that. Sh**, I admitted it!

I just read up on Ultimate Detox, it has emotional and mental focuses, and since it uses a similar base (US, LM, etc.), plus it's run in much shorter session lengths. I'm considering UD for the clearings, and I'd like some input on this.

Am I overlooking something obvious? (Would DMSI help???)

Just sharing I'm not sure which way to go. Thanks for hearing me out.

Yes, DMSI would help. It is *the* strongest healing & clearing sub in the shop. It's also more of a "forced march," whereas E2 is "at your own pace."

It's not an easy ride, but it is totally worth the effort. If *any* of your issues are related to women and/or sexuality, it will help you immensely. I've had benefits in all areas of my life. It frees you up where you've been bogged down. Don't let "it's about sex" give you any misconception about how much it can improve your relationships with people in general. In fact, more of us using DMSI are healing areas of our lives in many helpful ways, than experiencing the goal of being seduced by the sex you're attracted to.

That being said, I think Universal Detox would also be amazing. I'd love to run that sub right now, but the benefits from DMSI just keep on coming for me (6 months on V3.1 so far). I gotta keep running it.

[findingme]

Thank you RT. I am interested...no, needing to heal this. Thank you.

[Daredevil]

UD has P6

[findingme]

UD has P6

Daredevil,

What is P6? I am not sure myself.

[Daredevil]

There is a Glossary on the Forum of all the acronyms used.

[Daredevil]

It Basically enhances the speed of results in a program.

[Have at ye]

I can personally attest that DMSI ver. A healing is primed directly to address such issues. It is not always pleasant, and the subconscious can sometimes attempt to escape from the issue (at least mine sometimes does ), but, given enough exposure, should help you work through such stuff.

Ver. B can do it, too, incidentally, but it will not do so through means of "healing/clearing", which can be harrowing if an issue is strong enough/not enough headway has been made through H&C means.

Universal Detox does sound like it would help, too, judging from its design goals, but I do not have any personal experience using it.

[yoshilee]

So i would like to ask as the point focuses on healing, which is my next primary aim too:
I had in mind running AM6 next (as healing is part there as well). Would the better choice be DMSI first (although development state) to adress deep buried stuff before going on?

[Daredevil]

UD, DMSI, E2 for healing. In that order. UD has the latest tech and has a super focused script making it the best for healing. DMSI has the most toys in its script to handle resistance but it has a lot of goals which makes it diluted in focus. This is why it's number 2. E2 has a script focused on emotional healing only and has old tech making it the 3rd on this list.

[findingme]

Awe man! I thought I might get laid first!

(said in a mock disappointment)

[Daredevil]

Depends on what you want. If you want healing, Choose UD if you want women choose DMSI. Its important to note that most of what we want is not what we truly want and are what society and other people wants for us. You have to decide is freedom from all self imposed prisons more important or is slaying pussy more important. I think it's more important to slay your own dragons in the end because then you will find all the riches hidden in the castle (yourself) and you will also find the Damsel in distress who is right for you when you conquer all obstacles. Like they say "if you build it, they will come" and that applies to women and building your empire. But with building an empire your only as strong as your foundation and that takes the longest to build. Also they have to go deep into the ground and move all that dirt in order to then build up. In the basement and the lower levels of most skyscrapers and buildings is where the power and all the control systems lies which makes it a very important part of the building. This is a metaphor for You having to go deep within yourself and dig out all the negative emotions, energy and beliefs inside you and build up from there. You might be in a hole for a while but rest assured that when you rise up your building won't Sway in the wind or any wolf can blow your house down unlike others who skip the foundation and build on the Sand. Rest assured when life starts roaring, their castle will start tumbling down.

[Daredevil]

E2 and UD are my foundation and AM7 will be my building. AM7 is coming out c. 2019

[findingme]

Awe man! I thought I might get laid first!

(said in a mock disappointment)

Daredevil,

That was humor :-).

I've been digging for years, literally. I'm 46 now. I was in my first meeting when I was 21. I do believe your intent; I'm trying to find some life in my own self-stinginess; thus, the humor.