09-08-2010, 10:29 AM
(09-08-2010, 09:12 AM)WildFlower Wrote:Quote:But most of them are plainly spoiled by getting too much on the account of their appearance only, without extra effort needed normally.
I find that most of them get treated differently for their looks and therefore become somewhat detached and disillusioned form reality. The few girls I've known of that sort have all been socially inept; a little awkward; a little lonely and desperate for a genuine connection; and a very conservative world-view: "everyone's problems are their own fault, I have no sympathy". This is a massive generalisation on my part but that does seem the trend from my experience (read: my experience alone).
Thanks for your clarification, Wildflower.
I have had only one of the real 10's and she sometimes hated herself, so I am not an expert on this.
As for that last "everyone's problem are their own fault", I am little split about this belief myself.
On one hand, I spent several years dealing with my emotions and learning to listen to them and to the emotions of others only to realize how much victim-hood thinking I had lurking there beneath in myself.
It is like people sometimes literally feed on emotional dramas and consequently, recreate them.
In my experience, compassion can often slip into a pity and pity always lead to supporting victim-like beliefs.
It is tough, but sometimes what really seems to help is throwing people's responsibility for themselves into their face.
I know I do not always like it myself but I am learning to feel my dignity in taking care of my shit.
That does not mean one should refuse to lend a helping hand when asked so, after all, there is a certain degree of dignity in asking honestly for help and there is a certain degree of dignity in offering it, if the request is genuine.
Nor will I pass a person suddenly collapsing to the ground without doing everything I can to help them get medical treatment.
But I hope you know what I mean.
After all, many people in helping professions are almost addicted to taking people's responsibility out of their hands. It gives them control and personal validation.
To confuse the issue even more, some people are almost happy about this being done to them.